2:16, #320: End of the Year News

I'm currently reading, among other books, A Theological Guide to Calvin's Institutes. It seems that "most professing evangelicals" actually don't believe in original sin. Now it doesn't surprise me that the "wider culture"...that would be about 270 million non-evangelicals...are in agreement with the supposed sheep in their assessment of the human condition. Note I say "supposed sheep," knowing that as John 6:66 says, "As a result of this many of His disciples withdrew, and were not walking with Him anymore." Oh...this reaction on the part of "disciples" was a result from Jesus' Redneck Carpenter sentence in vs. 65: "And He was saying, 'For this reason I have said to you, that no one can come to Me, unless it has been granted him from the Father.'" Kinda narrow minded, but as the Son of God He can afford to be since He's right!

I think the thing that ticked me off more than the fact that "professing evangelicals" deny original sin is that the author of the article writes, "I leave it to the reader to evaluate this gloomy appraisal...American Christianity may actually be worse than that of the medieval church." What burns me up is that there is NOT ONE STINKING MENTION OF PRAYER BY THE GUY for true revival of the Church!! I suppose that would be outside the world view of a scholar.

Last year at this time I gave you the Perfect New Year's Resolution..."I RESOLVE never to make another New Year's Resolution!" I'm reporting in that I've KEPT that resolution all 366 days this year! Now I'm not asking you to resolve to pray for the American Church. I'm asking you to actually do it!
Got knee pads?

Source: Hall, David W. & Peter A. Lillback, Editors. A Theological Guide to Calvin's Institutes. Michael S. Horton, "A Shattered Vase: The Tragedy of Sin in Calvin's Thought." P & R Publishers, Phillipsburg, New Jersey, 2008.

2:15, #319: Awful Weapons

Gee, this makes #3 post for today. You can tell I've got time off between Christmas and New Year's. Well, I came across a quote that comes from Robert Murray McCheyne. It says that "God loves men who are likenesses of Jesus and that a holy minister is an awful weapon in His Hand."

What about the rest of us who are not ministers...what we Presbyterians call teaching elders?!! It seems to me that any one of us could be an "awful weapon" in His hand in any way He wants to use us; especially if we "take up the whole armor of light and pray at all times in the Spirit for all the saints!!" It seems to me that Noby Jo who I wrote about two posts ago was an "awful weapon" against Satan's schemes in the lives of 5,000 people who did not commit suicide. Whether they ended up committing their lives to Christ was not mentioned, but there's always that distinct possibility.

It seems that Jesus view of John the Baptist, that he was greatest born among women, but less than the "least" in the Kingdom of God indicates that we don't have to make a name for ourselves in the annals of human history but can kick the Devil from one end of the world to the other in the power of the Spirit as He gives us opportunities and courage. Check out Colossians 4:2-6, something I've prayed for all of you Christians worldwide: "Devote yourselves to prayer, keeping alert in it with an attitude of thanksgiving; praying at the same time for us as well, that God may open up to us a door for the word, so that we may speak forth the mystery of Christ, for which I have also been imprisoned; in order that I may make it clear in the way I ought to speak. Conduct yourselves with wisdom toward outsiders, making the most of the opportunity. Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned, as it were, with salt, so that you may know how you should respond to each person."

Only God can be awesome...you can be awful in His Hand and awe-filled if you want!
Wanna try?

2:14, #318: Priority #1 & #2

I'm in the midst of typing my hand written journals of 28 years into my computer and came across something that set my brain in motion again on the toughest topic of the Bible, I think. I wrote, "I pray that You will touch the hearts of each person who was there to draw them to Jesus and to instruct them how to glorify Your Name."

What about those He doesn't draw to Christ? Well, the Westminster Shorter Catechism says that the chief end of man (my emphasis) is "to glorify God and enjoy Him forever." If there is a primary or chief end, there is a secondary one, too. Sadly, it falls under the category of Romans 9:22-24, "What if God, although willing to demonstrate His wrath and to make His power known, endured with much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction? And He did so in order that He might make known the riches of His glory upon vessels of mercy, which He prepared beforehand for glory, even us, [my emphasis again] whom He also called, not from among Jews only, but also from among Gentiles." We Christians get elected to glorify AND enjoy Him. Everybody else gets elected to glorify Him and His infinite power to subdue evil to His judgment.

Aint a pretty thought, but there it is. Share the gospel with your friends and let God sort them out! Grace and peace.

2:13, #317: Noby Jo's Railroad Orders

Back in 2000 I started reading through Selwyn Hughes' devotional Every Day Light but set it aside at roughly the half-way mark...don't know why. I picked it up again a couple of days ago to read along with my other usual fare and today read of Mrs. Noby Jo, a Chinese Christian lady who wanted to do something with her life for the Lord and got an interesting assignment.

It seems while praying in the hills, she was irritated that God always "had to have His own way" and asked why. He told her that her way was not wrong, but His way was best. Then He said "You belong to the discouraged and broken people who commit suicide at the bend of the railway track."

She put up a sign "Don't: see Mrs. Noby Jo first. God loves you." Turns out she died at age 92 with 5,000 prevented suicides to her record. The odd thing is that when I Googled her name I came up with a big fat ZIP!! If any of my Chinese/Chinese American granddaughters out there have heard of her, I'd appreciate the info. Oh, any of you Barbarians are welcome to pass on info to me, too, if you know anything. By the way, Selwyn Hughes was Welsh and died January 9, 2006, so I don't know where he heard the story.

Notariety seems to be extremely optional in the Kingdom of God. Walking in the good works prepared for us, as Ephesians 2:10 says, seems NOT to be optional, so stop a moment, ask the Lord "What's Next?" and then get on with it. As another one of my favorite devotional writers, Oswald Chambers, used to say, "Trust God and do the next thing!"
Got ideas?

Source: Hughes, Selwyn & Thomas Kinkade. Every Day Light.Broadman & Holman Publishers, Nashville, TN, 1997, pg. 268.

2:12, #316 WWF vs WWF

I got to listen to some talk radio today while on the way to recycle aluminum cans to a place that was closed until New Year for the first time ever! ;p Well, the subject on the Glenn Beck Show was the poor polar bears that need to be saved from extinction by the World Wildlife Federation. FYI... since 1972 the bear population has increased 500% from 5,000 to 25,000...certainly a statistic that indicates imminent extinction as the W.W.F. indicates to get you to fork over $16 a month to help the cute and cuddly white fuzzie wuzzies.

When the mention of the W.W. F. occurred as initials, my cracked brain immediately translated to World Wrestling Federation, so I thought, hey, now THAT would be an iron cage match that would draw some crowds and monies!! Get a polar bear to go one on one or one on however-many-they- want of these macho nachos of the Wrestling Federation. Just think...the money raised to see if man or beast would win...my money's on the fuzzie wuzzie...could be used to pay the wrestler's funeral expenses and the rest to help preserve the bears. And THEN...there could be all the toys and paraphernalia sales that would further be designated for the 500%-ers and the world could be in balance again!!

Since I don't know squat about the legal ins and outs of snatching pictures on the internet, go to this bleeding heart website for THE BEST polar bear picture ever...given the nature of this post: [http://climateprogress.org/2006/12/27/polar-bears-endangered-by-global-warming/]
I think this guy is one of my descendents from a former incarnation, given his attitude!! ;p

2:11, #315: Earthquakes Out the Wazoo

This is the day I traditionally pray specifically by name for the salvation of my ex-wife, since it's her birthday. Soooo...I thought I'd refresh my memory on a few items from this date in history:

Four years ago (2004) Indonesia had an earthquake that caused the big tsunami that killed 266,000 people in the coastal regions of Africa and Asia. I checked that out on a Voice of the Martyrs world map a couple of days later...five of the six countries that got hammered hardest were the top five persecutors of Christians of all the nations of the world.

Five years ago (2003) 30,000 died in Bam, Iran by earthquake, ranked #9 in the world for persecuting Christians by Operation World, 21st Century Edition. "Bam" was an appropriate name for the way God got their attention! Wonder how many conversions have come out of that mess as a result of Christian mercy ministries?

Back in 1939 there was an earthquake in Anatolia, Turkey...the land that used to be called Asia Minor and housed the churches addressed in the Book of Revelation. The Ottoman Empire there had a good run from 1299-1923, when the Republic of Turkey was formed. It's been a stronghold of Islam all those years and made it to #39 on the current Persecution Index. Let's see, back in '39 was when God Caused World War II...good book title, I'd say...to get the attention of the largest number of people yet in world history...yet being the operative word, I think. Oh, Turkey's current motto is "The Eternal State." Someone better send them the Book of Daniel in modern Turkish to give them God's view on that particular subject!

In 1932, 30,000 lives were suddenly called into eternity through an earthquake in Kansu, China. China's an interesting story. Back on May 12, 2008 Sichuan Province had "the nineteenth deadliest earthquake of all time" according to my impeccable Wikipedia source. Hmmm... Operation World puts them at #3 on the Top Christian Persecutors index. The tally was, in round figures: 69,000 dead/374,000 injured/18,000 missing/4.8 million homeless. Back in 1976 (can you say Communist Cultural Revolution?), 240,000 folks shuffled off this mortal coil through the Tangshan earthquake.

I could go on with research and rambling for pages, but I'll wrap up with this fun USofA fact: The largest recorded earthquake in the United States was a magnitude 9.2 that struck Prince William Sound, Alaska on Good Friday, March 28, 1964 UTC....Seems I recall the firing on Fort Sumter to initiate the American Civil War was Good Friday, April 12, 1861. Guess it's merely a coincidence, Eh?!

2:10, #314: Chivalry

Many years ago I opened a door for a woman and she said, "Chivalry is not dead!" My response was a Bob-ism of sorts..."Chivalry's not dead, it's just lying drunk in a ditch!" She laughed and we both went on to the rest of our lives.

Dictionary.com describes "chivalry" as "the sum of the ideal qualifications of a knight, including courtesy, generosity, valor, and dexterity in arms." Well, I guess I was courteous by holding the door and generous in letting her go first, but there was no valor ("boldness or determination in facing great danger") involved since she was not offended at my being a male chauvinist pig for opening the door; although there was always that possibility I guess. And I'm thinkin' that since swords, battle axes, shields, and spears were not part of the event, I'll take no credit for dexterity in arms; although I did use one arm to perform the nearly-chivalrous act.

So what brought on this idea? ...More reading in The New Dictionary of Thoughts last night that included a bunch from Cervantes' Don Quixote. How could I remember that great story without thinking of Dulcinea as amply played by Sophia Loren to Peter O'Toole's Don Quixote?!! If it weren't all iced up outside here in Southeast Pa., I'd get on my white charger (no, not the Dodge muscle car) and tilt at a windmill or two!

Picture Source: Wikipedia Commons from article on Don Quixote. Engraving by Gustave Dore, a dead Frenchman whose copyright has run out. ;p

2:9, #313: Addictive Personality

Today while I was hauling Hammy III off to The Creek I was listening to The Michael Smirconish Show on radio and learned that addictive personalities have an amino acid called dopamine (doh-puh-meen, Dictionary.com says). Apparently it's this particular item that triggers your absolute need to have whatever it is that hooks you into addictive behavior.

Well, I've often wondered why in chemistry "mine" is pronounced "meen" instead of "myne." I think the substance that turns us into dopes who can't resist doing something should be re-pronounced Dope-A-Mine and be considered the evil little gremlin inside us that causes us to do something, like sin, addictively.

I'm betting that somebody spent a bunch of money to come up with this conclusion. It seems to me a simple consultation with Ephesians 2:1, "And you were dead in your trespasses and sins..." would have solved the paper work part of this whole deal. Like...YO!...the implication is that you were born that way because of The Fall.

Got uncontrollable itch that needs to be scratched?

2:8, #312: Mary's Little Lamb

I picked up The Opie Book of Nursery Rhymes this morning at the "free" table in The Lobby and read "Mary Had A Little Lamb." I figured I could do just as well, so here's the result:

Mary had a little Lamb.
His life was white as snow.
And everywhere that Jesus went,
The crowds were sure to go.

He hung upon an Easter tree,
He gave His life away.
So let's recall His finished work
This Merry Christmas Day!!
--B.S. 12/22/08
Got eggnog?

2:7, #311: Wind Bag

Over the weekend I began reading a book I got from a "free" table in The Lobby last week. It's title is The New Dictionary of Thoughts, published in 1936, so I thought the "new" part of the title was a bit ironic, but picked it up anyway. It's a collection of thousands of quotes from all ages, so it does not need to be read front-to-back or in any other organized fashion; which suits me just fine these days.

One of the first entries I saw was in the "Familiar Phrase" section in the back..."wind bag." The originator was Sophocles, a Greek tragedian who lived from @496-406BC and the phrase showed up in Plato, Theaetetus, 160 according to the reference. I was glad to hear that one of my favorite phrases has been around for two dozen centuries or so.

Now, if cars have signs "equipped with air bags," should those carrying politicians, preachers, and talk show hosts have bumper stickers that read, "Equipped with Wind Bags?"

Can Bloggers technically be called "wind bags" since they're not actually saying anything (yeah, obvious double entendre here), only writing? Would "Type Touters" be appropriate? Maybe "Keyboard B.S.-ers" would fit the best?

I guess since Sophocles wrote 120 or more plays, according to various websites, he knew whereof he wrote?

2:6, #310: God's Show & Tell and South Carolina

This morning's breakfast consisted of some sort of cereal flakes with almond slivers and Ezekiel 12 which starts out in verse 2, "Son of man, you live in the midst of the rebellious house, who have eyes to see but do not see, ears to hear but do not hear; for they are a rebellious house." Earlier I had noted as I read some devotionals that one hundred forty-eight years ago to the day (thank you, Frodo) in 1860, South Carolina declared its compact with the rest of the States dissolved. In other words, they were in rebellion from the United States of America and were an independent nation.

Ezekiel got to enact a Show and Tell that was much better than the Friday phenomenon we 1950s kids got to do every so often in the Philadelphia school system. By order of God, he got to dig his way through a wall and carry out stuff on his shoulders the way Israelites had done in earlier deportations and would do as a result of their sinful behavior again. I noticed, too, that God was taking full credit for the actions that would occur, not just allowing them to happen, as so many Christians want to say about His way of doing things when evil hits His people. Verses 13-15 tell what God would do and why He would do it: "I shall also spread My net over him [the King of Israel], and he will be caught in My snare. And I shall bring him to Babylon in the land of the Chaldeans; yet he will not see it, though he will die there. And I shall scatter to every wind all who are around him, his helpers and all his troops; and I shall draw out a sword after them. So they will know that I am the LORD when I scatter them among the nations, and spread them among the countries." I've emboldened the font to make my point and put God's primary purpose in red as part of the NASB...Newly Annotated Sexton Bible!

Given that this is the day South Carolina lit the tinder for Civil War that blazed up on April 12, 1861, and given the condition of the Church in America and how we've failed to be salt and light in our nation, I wonder what sort of prophet God would send to us and what sort of message He would be conveying for how he would CAUSE us to "humble ourselves and pray, to seek his face and to turn from our wicked ways?" I know that the first part of the sentence in 2 Chronicles 7:13-14 goes like this, "When I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or command locusts to devour the land or send a plague among my people..." So...ugly events to bring about revival after some very hard lessons would be the fare of the century, I'm afraid.

Last night I finished, What Hath God Wrought: The Transformation of America from 1815-1848, by Daniel Howe. He points out how the religious fervor of the age combined with the communication revolution of mass media and the telegraph to drastically transform the land and its people...I would say the preliminaries of how God Caused the Civil War. The Internet is a quantum leap in the communications revolution of our day. Religious fervor, frequently anti-Christian, abounds. I wonder what God's cooking up? After all, April 12, 2011 will be the 150th anniversary of the Civil War.

2:5, #309 God Plays Rock, Paper, Scissors

This morning at breakfast I read Ezekiel 11:19-20 where God says, "And I shall give them one heart, and shall put a new spirit within them. And I shall take the heart of stone out of their flesh and give them a heart of flesh, that they may walk in My statutes and keep My ordinances, and do them. Then they will be My people, and I shall be their God." For some reason the whole idea of "Rock, Paper, Scissors" came to mind...guess it had to do with the heart of stone stuff. I guess you could say He "covers" the stone with the covenant written on the paper of the Old & New Testaments, so to speak, when he converts us in Christ through the Spirit.

The certificate (paper) of divorce talked about in various prophets that He gave Israel for their sinful behavior was cut to bits when He restored them in His perfect time at various ages and will be once-for-all at the End of All Things. Oh, and what does a Vine Dresser (John 15) use to snip the dead wood (that could be processed for pulp to make paper!)? ...Hand held pruning shears which are nothing more than glorified scissors!

Now, I'm probably gonna have to stretch on Rock Beats Scissors...so like what's new?!! Well, here's Psalm 2:1-4 (judge for yourselves): "Why do the heathen rage, and the people imagine a vain thing? The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together, against the LORD, and against His Anointed, saying, 'Let us tear their fetters apart, And cast away their cords from us!' He who sits in the heavens laughs, The Lord scoffs at them." And how do the heathen "tear cords?"...with scissors and other sharp implements! ;p Verse 9 gives the picture of The Rock of Ages beating the Scissors of Sin...'Thou shalt break them with a rod of iron, Thou shalt shatter them like earthenware.'"

Iron shatters clay...Rock beats scissors...got your heart of stone removed, your certificate of debt canceled, and your sword of the Spirit, the Word of God (Ephesians 6:17) sharpened?

2:4, #308 Glenn Beck and Socrates

The weather warmed and dried up a bit today, so I went outside to gather up the long-needle pine limbs that had come crashing to earth with the accumulation of ice on them night before last. In this case, instead of being the Vine Dresser of John 15, the Lord was the Pine Messer of Camp Cornelius.

I was listening to the Glenn Beck program for a bit as I gathered the limbs...an unusual thing in and of itself...while he talked about Americans, truth, and how we can still reform the country without revolution. Well, I was picking up some hemlock branches, too, and Socrates' death by poison hemlock came to mind, since Ole Socco was an agitator against Athenian democracy in his day, according to various accounts. Glenn Beck is going against the mainstream thinking, it would appear, in our American democracy; which is taking a decided turn to the Left and socialism on January 20, 2009.

Socrates made his living, if in deed he earned one, by talking. Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and other conservative talk show hosts talk their way to the bank. Wonder if American democracy will adversely affect them in the not too distant future?

Oh, yeah...part of the Socratic Method is asking a bunch of questions about whatever subject is on hand...much the way radio talk show hosts work. Socrates was around when Athens was going down hill....hmmm...perhaps I see a parallel?
Got hemlock trees?

2:3, #307: Birthday Suits and Hirsute Pursuits

Yes, this is one thing the entire human race has in common. They come in different colors, shapes, sizes, etc. but we've all got one. I've noticed a few things, too.

Guys with hairy legs have bald knees unless they wear shorts all year 'round. If you look closely, however, at the rest of us, you'll notice short stub hairs growing on the patellae that are constantly rubbed short by long pants. You're liable to find two other bald spots on most guys... one on the front of the shin, just at the ankle where socks and high top boots do the abrading work and another on the calf muscle that's rubbing the slacks too...kinda makes us look silly, when you think about it.

Then there are the guys (hopefully no girls) with REALLY hairy backs...EEEUUUWWW!! When I played lacrosse in college, the goalie was a guy named Barry whose nickname was "Bear" for his hirsute character...or in his case, hair suit for a birthday suit. There's even a joke in "Pirates of the Caribbean" where Cap'n Jack Sparrow claims the rope he used to lash the sea turtles together to escape an island was woven from the hair of his back!! (Hey, it's possible! )

Oh, fellows...if the lady you love ever asks you if an outfit she has on "makes her look fat"...honestly answer "NO!" (You can think to yourself that it's her birthday suit that makes her look fat!!) ;)

Didja ever wonder what Adam and Eve looked like in their birthday suits? Think about it... with the incredible diversity of suit shapes, both male and female, including color, that we now have, just what genetic combination showed up in the original prototypes for the rest of us? The northern European artists of the Middle Ages had much too narrow a view when they used medium sized Caucasians as their models, I think. I'm thinkin' that the Original Dirtball and his Used Parts Mommawere both well over eight or nine feet tall, given the Biblical descriptions of Goliath and some of the other "Anakim" (Skywalkers?) who were described as giants. Post #27 has a few thoughts on this one, so you can check it out.

Have you ever noticed that a lot of dark haired women have sideburns? And just imagine if all that delightful peach fuzz the ladies of ALL hair colors have on their faces blossomed into full fledged beards!! We'd better understand why dwarf women are sometimes confused with dwarf men, as Gimli points out to Eowyn in "The Two Towers" portion of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy...right before he falls off the horse.

Well, enough horsing around with this topic.
Got Fu Manchu?

2:2, #306 Soldier's Heart

Well, I've just been doing a little reading out of curiosity on post traumatic stress disorder. It was called "soldier's heart" in combat veterans after the Civil War. Now, I'm not going to try to minimize what folks go through under such extreme events as war, rape, natural disasters, etc. that create PTSD, but let's think through the issue regarding the entire human race for a minute.

According to the web site [http://www.medicinenet.com/posttraumatic_stress_disorder/article.htm], it's a "psychiatric condition that can develop following any traumatic, catastrophic life experience." That definition reminds me of something I MUST have said elsewhere in this rambling bit of publishing...We ALL got forcibly ejected from the almost perfect environment by someone who says she loves us (MOM), had our butts slapped (with some exceptions in this) by a complete stranger in order to MAKE us cry (OK, we gotta breath), and then are killing time for 70-80 years while time is killing us!! HELLO!!!...the whole human race is suffering from Initial Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome...BIRTH!!

Look at the list of things that are symptoms of PTSD:
"flashbacks" about the event
feelings of estrangement or detachment
nightmares
sleep disturbances
impaired functioning
occupational instability
memory disturbances
family discord
parenting or marital difficulties

Give yourself a quick quiz...with the exception of the "flashbacks" of your birth-day, I'll bet you qualify for most of the others somewhere in your history. Maybe, just maybe, we should call the problem Post FALL Traumatic Disorder brought about by Adam and Eve, with some heightened cases brought about by the continuing sinful behavior of the offspring of the Original Rebels while we're waiting around for the End of All Things!!

My soldier's heart that I got to replace my heart of stone (check out Ezekiel 36: 26,27) when I got converted tells me the bad news is there aint no cure outside of Jesus. The Good News is that there IS Jesus.
Got Him?

2:1, #305

Sometimes I amaze myself at how dumb I can be. Yesterday I went through all those various calculations. DUHH...it was the 366th day since I started Self Indulgent B.S. because it was a Leap Year. OK...250/366=68.3% so 31.7% of last year I did not write anything. That's settled. Hmmm...that's roughly the same success rate as attacking on Friday, Saturday, or Monday instead of Sunday during the Civil War!!

Today starts Year #2 of this blog, hence the numbering system I finally determined will work for me to cross reference this if I ever have a need so to do. Bet you're thrilled all to pieces about that particular piece of information. But, then, maybe you are, considering you're actually reading this self indulgent bit of web publishing...HA...gotcha, didn't repeat the title! ;p

It's 11:13am at the moment. One hundred and forty-six years ago in Fredericksburg, Virginia, great grandpappy and the rest of the Union forces south of town were held at bay by one stinking piece of Confederate artillery from 10-11. Right about now the Yanks were using superior artillery firepower in an inferior manner that would eventually lead to Meade's repulse by Stonewall Jackson's artillery and Confederate troops; which is where I first received my exposure to cannon fire "while in my great grandpappy's loins" according to Biblical phraseology that causes my on-going post traumatic stress syndrome symptoms!! (At least that's one of my theories of why I'm "not right" according to my plumber friend.)

This could also explain in part why "I need parents" as Archangel and Elfson aver. Guess it's a good thing I've got a mansion in Heaven reserved with my name on it, Eh?
Is that the sound of angel wings I hear?
No, just Enya singing with a great backup group...DANGGIT!!

#304: Danggit...Wrong Again

The thought just occurred to me that you stats freaks might have an epiphany about my calculations in Post #3o3...you know, it takes one (me) to know one. Some days...like right this minute even as I type...I've posted a couple of items so the Time-I've-Shut-Up percentage is actually higher than what I calculated on a per diem basis. Since I have some time to use up for vacation this year, I decided this is an "off" day and rolled back through my file...I actually only posted 250 days this year...so 250/347=72%, or 28% Shut Up Percentage....I can live with that!

#303: One Year Down

Today closes the circle of life on the first portion of Self Indulgent B.S. Seems as though we should either have some sort of celebration or consolation party. Look at it this way, since this was a calendar Leap Year (you've still got 30 days counting today, Ladies, to propose marriage to your particularly interesting guy if you're so inclined!!), I had the good sense NOT to say anything for 44 of the 347 days 2008 has already shot in the head. Gee, 12.7% of the time I didn't have something to say...

Today In History has some oddities that need to be revealed, I think, in no particular order...apologies to you good-and-decent-order-Presbyterians:

In 1966 the Supreme Court actually decided the Milwaukee Braves could move to Atlanta! I'm glad to see they had time for really important issues back in the turbulent 60's!

In 1653 the Barebones Parliament voted to disband in England. Now get this, the name came from the nominee from London, a guy named Praise-God Barbon, according to several web sources. It replaced the Rump Parliament. So...they got off their Rump, cut things to the Bare Bones, and ended up with Cromwell when they agreed to disagree. I wonder if an ancestor of Dubi Eh-tea served up the tea and bisquits at the closing?

In 1858 the 1st Canadian coins circulated (1¢, 5¢, 10¢ & 20¢)...guess they got the idea of petty cash about then, Eh? Take note: a TWENTY-CENT PIECE, NOT A QUARTER!! Our quarter was first minted in 1796, so I think our northern neighbors were trying to make some kind of point with this one.

In 1951...27 days after I shuffled onto this mortal coil...Joe DiMaggio retired from baseball, giving Simon and Garfunkel a line or two in "Mrs. Robinson" in 1967 for the movie "The Graduate."

In 1712 The South Carolina colony passed a "Sunday Law" requiring "all...persons whatsoever" to attend church each Sunday, to refrain from skilled labor, and to do no traveling by horse or wagon beyond the necessary. Infractions of this law were met with a 10-shilling fine and/or a two-hour lock-up in the village stocks...I wonder if Canadians could pay with a non-existent 20-cent piece?

Now, in 2008...gotta go open the classroom building. The Sheep at Camp Cornelius are chomping at the bit to study for the upcoming academic slaughter known as Finals!

#302: Dubiety and Dubi Eh-tea

I never sit around wonderin' what it is that's going to make it into this trek through mental miasma next. I just don't say anything if there's nothin' to say and crank somethin' out when weird stuff comes up.

Today The Boss was touting his linguistics with the word "dubiety" in reference to some line of bull either I or some of the other people in the group decided to spout. Of course, we were dubious of the fact that dubiety was really a word. Well, an email later showed that Merriam and Webster had conspired on the side of The Boss this time. (I told him if it was a real word, Americans would spell it with two "o's" instead of a "u." Just so's ya knows, some synonyms are "mistrust, question, skepticism, suspicion and uncertainty."

Dubi Eh-tea is now a persona made-up-a; A Maladjusted Mid-Easterner who may have more than a few things to say in the upcoming issues of Self Indulgent B.S. or may even have a blog of his own some day. Dubi would be his city of origin. Eh-tea is his pseudonym made from one part Canadian "Eh?" and one part fermented Anglo-Saxon beverage that would not even marginally fit the definition usually suggested but might have the effects of the ninth definition on Dictionary.com...marijuana...when served in the afternoon around 4pm.

And if you doubt any of this, maybe you are the real Dubi Eh-tea, Eh?!! ;p

#301: Signs I See

Nope...this is not going to be some political or religious tirade on upcoming events based on my prophetic observation of things around me. This is simply going to be a cogitation on actual signs I see as part of my walk around Camp Cornelius to open buildings in the morning when my brain is most synaptically stimulated.

One sign on a desk indicated that J. was "Admin. Assit. to the Director of Admissions." Just what, exactly, is an "Assit.?" Given the Southern family roots of our Director (can you sing "The Eyes of Texas Are Upon You?") I guess it could mean the position is an assit, not a liability. Or, it could mean "Ah sit here to help y'all", I suppose.

Then there's our "Dean of Students and Minist. Form." Does this stem from the question about time management, "Have you got a Minist?" If you "have a minist," do you fill out a Minist. Form in order to qualify for some longer period of time? Is a Minist. Form like a dress form, designed to hang your theological garments on to get them to fit properly?

Later in my routine I saw a sign taped to the door, "Out all day." What about all night?

What's the difference between an Administrative Assistant and an Executive Administrative Assistant? Dictionary.com indicates that one meaning of "executive" is: "of, pertaining to, or suited for carrying out plans, duties, etc.: executive ability". Does that mean all them there Admin. Assits. really AIN'T because they are not "suited for carrying out plans, duties, etc." and therefore don't get the title?

Given the fact that there is a proliferation of Christian Conferences for all sorts of things, since we have a Vice President for Advancement, should we have a V.P. for Retreats?

Does a Chief Operating Officer have to be certified by the A.M.A.? Does he get to wear scrubs and carry a stethoscope? Should there be a "Chief Operating Petty Officer" who takes care of little things?

Then there's "Director of Physical Plant". Which one am I supposed to order around? Should there be a "Director of Metaphysical Plant" at Camp Cornelius, given the nature of the place? What would be the qualifications? Would a short form of the title be "B.S. Boss?"

Just wonderin', that's all.

#300: Silent Stuff

I went to church yesterday and had a thought. The second hymn was "Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silent." Doesn't it seem a bit ironic that the preacher should tell us to sing while the title of the hymn tells us to shut up?!! Maybe we should have observed four minutes of silence instead of Presbyterian singing?

Then there was the silent testimony in stained glass on three windows at the front of the chapel depicting the Three Wise Men attending Baby Jesus. What I wanted to know was why one of them was dressed in 12th century knight's armor when he was supposed to be one of the first century visitors. Think I'll drop the pastor an email.

Another silent testimony was a group of Scripture verses, the first of which said "Your old men will dream dreams." Well, I don't, plain and simple. What's the scoop? Archangel did point out that further 'round was "Make a joyful noise unto the Lord." Ok...got that one covered.

Would it be right to play "Silent Night" REALLY LOUD?!

#299: Ireland, Oh Ire-land

I'm in the process of reading some missionary email from the Emerald Isle...names will be omitted to protect the not-so-innocent. Turns out Ireland has gotten antagonistic toward foreigners with visas of a religious nature. Once again, the Catholic-Protestant spiritual warfare in the heavenlies is being waged on a political level.
Does anyone but me see the simplicity of identifying the basis for ALL of Ireland's "Troubles" in the fact that the place is actually called IRE-land?!! ;p Dictionary.com succinctly defines "ire" as: "intense anger, wrath."
Synonyms: "furor, rage, wrath, choler, indignation, anger, annoy, exasperate, fury, heat, infuriate, resentment." Providentially, my "Celtic Traditions" cd just came on, so my own Celtic roots are showing; which, in my case, isn't hard. (I've also got a touch of the Scot, Anglo-Saxon, Russian, and Teutonic Visigoth in me, so any temper I show makes perfect sense.)

Can you say BARBARIANS who need Jesus? Pray down some strongholds RIGHT NOW, using Colossians 2:15!! "Bomb" the Hell Out Of Them, so to speak, with Heaven's B-52's...PRAYER!!

#298: December 7th Stuff

For most Americans, December 7th means a remembrance of the Japanese attack of Pearl Harbor in 1941 that got America into WWII. It was also a Sunday attack that led to the attacker being the ONLY nation so far in world history to have nuclear weapons used against it. Coincidentally, a Japanese brother told me that the cure for various cancers came out of the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki as a result of doctors having to treat patients who were survivors, so I guess "God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God" has some common grace applications, too. Pearl Harbor also resulted in the conversion of the flight leader, Mitsuo Fuchida, who later became an evangelist in Japan until his death in 1976.

Today In History [http://www.scopesys.com/anyday/] has some other interesting events included on this date:

1542 Mary Stuart Queen of Scots (1560-1587) was born: A devout Catholic who helped generate some of the religious antagonisms during the reign of Elizabeth I that helped the English Reformation in its own special way...she "bombed" trying to get to power!! ;p

1877 Thomas A Edison demonstrates the gramophone...known to us non-U.K. types as the phonograph...The Beatles Invasion was a direct result of Tommy's fooling around inventing stuff and my "Feng Shui" and "Irish Christmas" cds are the logical extension of the whole deal in a Zen sort of way!! ;)

1912 Bust of Queen Nefertete found in El-Amarna, Egypt...Why is it that something called a "bust" usually does not include that part of the owner's anatomy, but only the head down to that part?!

1917 US becomes 13th country to declare war on Austria during World War I...seems providentially coincidental that we should get involved in TWO World Wars on the same day! Oh...notice, since we were Number 13 how lucky it was that OUR President Woodrow Wilson, a Christian, should have set up the machinery of the League of Nations that led to the United Nations that will lead to the One World Government!! ;p (Can you say, Conspiracy Theory in God's Providence?!!)

1945 Microwave oven patented...just imagine how rich someone could be if everytime somebody microwaved something these days, he/she got even $.01 per use!!

1971 Wings release their 1st album "Wild Life"
1973 Wings release "Band on the Run" ...betcherbottomdollar they didn't bother to thank Tom Alva, on either occasion!! ;p

1987 Mikhail Gorbachev arrives in the US for a summit meeting...a Russian "invades" America with world changing results in the long run...'TAKE DOWN THE WALL MR. GORBACHEV!!" as Ronny Reagan said.

1988 Yasser Arafat recognizes existence of Israel...Yeah, you know...it's that little piece of territory at the center of the globe God calls the apple of His eye!!

1994 5th Billboard Music Awards...Wanna guess who probably didn't get same-date recognition for his gramophone?!!

And to close:

Thought for the day :

" Whatever advice you give, be brief. "
Got "Amen?!!"

#297: Jesus and the Roofers

Lots of folks down through the Church Age have heard the story of Jesus healing the guy with four buddies who lowered him through the roof. I've got some pertinent questions, considering I was dealing with a couple of roofers this morning. The story shows up in Mark 2:1-13. It says Jesus was at home, that the four guys dug through the roof, that Jesus healed the fifth one, ticked off the scribes as usual, and sent the healed guy home.

Here are my questions. Did Jesus send the guy home to get his roofing tools so he could fix the roof? Were his hole digging buddies in on the repair job? Did somebody pay for the repairs or would the roofers do it for free in thanks for the healing? When Jesus "went out again by the seashore," was that so the guys could work on his roof and clean up the mess they had made unhindered by the crowd? Since Jesus was a carpenter, would He have been allowed by Jerusalem Local 777 to employ unskilled workers for the job? Did the roof ever actually get fixed or was it a site visited by pilgrims who were charged a couple of denarii to view the spot by the local tourism council?

Just thought I'd ask.

#296: The Wurst of Times

Charles Dickens opened A Tale of Two Cities with "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..." Last week The Cook blessed my socks off (well, metaphorically, if not physically) and made a portion of my life "the best of times and the wurst of times." For the first time in I can't remember how long, I got some liverwurst for lunch...the meal of choice of Pop Murray, my maternal grandfather for as long as I can remember...oh, and he lived to be one month short of 97!!

Now for the uninitiated who do not have the blessing of a Teutonic family background or a Heidelberg German, self-appointed grandmother-next-door-neighbor: Liverwurst is a sausage made with a large percentage of liver, especially pork liver and meat, according to Dictionary.com. It is best served on rye or pumpernickel bread with a HUGE slice of raw onion and some Gulden's mustard!! Chips on the side and a slice of dill pickle make it the perfect meal, in spite of what the Cholesterol Crowd might warn you and ignoring the fact that it's made up of the Demon Preferred Meat of Mark 5: 10-20. I would also suggest that playing LOUD Celtic music while chowing down would make eating it even more fun, given what's crankin' on my cd player at the moment.

I mentioned my Heidelberg Grandma...Mrs. Finger. Not only did she look out for me and my brother as we were growing up, she regaled me with the joys of bratwurst and knackwurst, too. Once again, Dictionary.com covers the details:
Bratwurst: a sausage made of pork, spices, and herbs, sometimes without a casing, usually served sautéed or broiled.
Knackwurst: a short, thick, highly seasoned sausage.
It didn't matter how it was served up, it was consumed with glee and set my feet on the path of eventual death and destruction of this corpus abundantus I've managed to construct over the years.

So what's my point? The pun's the thing wherein we'll catch the joy of the King!! (Apologies to Willie Shakespeare's Hamlet.) Remember, we're heading towards the Marriage FEAST of the Lamb...look for me in the pizza, kimchee, liverwurst, beer and cigar smokin' section with Harvie Conn, Marty Luther,Charley Spurgeon and the Reformed Roustabouts!!
Got a Yuengling?

#295: Digital vs. Analog

This morning I was up at 1:23am and 4:56am and I'm awaiting 7:89am...which for you non-linear thinkers would be 8:19am this morning...you know, 7:00 + 1 hour + 19 minutes!! ;p In any event, I think there's a digitally magic something or other about various times of the day and night. For instance, 12:34am is a Happy New Year kind of time (or a "Why-did-I-drink-all-that- beer?" time), whereas 12:34pm would be a "Let's-play-Age-of-Wonders-after-a- liverwurst sandwich" kind of time. Obviously, 1:23am and 4:56am are a couple of those Wee Hours we've discussed in a past Post or two...#35 & #152 to be precise (as would be 2:34 and 3:45am). On the other hand, 1:23pm is Siesta Time in some societies or Late Lunch for the Moronic Over-achievers Society who have to work through God's designated lunch hour of noon to one, and 4:56pm is obviously Miller Time Less Four!! Let's see...2:34pm would be Time-For-My-Afternoon-Snack Time and 3:45pm would clearly be Gotta-Wrap-Up-What-I'm-Doing-So-I-Can-Go-Home Time.

And, of course, we can't forget the Diminishing Digitals: 6:54am (Danggit-Gotta-Go-Open-The-Buildings-Time), 6:54pm (It's-Time-To-Choose-A-Movie Time), 5:43am (Well, I Might As Well Get Up Time), 5:43pm (Ahhh...Another Grey Havens Feast Is Done Time), 4:32am (Crap-Now-I'm-Awake-But-It's-Too-Early-To-Get-Up Time), 4:32pm (Time-To-Kill-Computer-Creatures Time), 3:21am (Whatwazzat? Time), 3:21pm (Aint-This-Day-Done-Yet?!! Time), 2:10am and 1:09am (Wee Hours hours), and 2:10pm (Hmmph-More-To-Do Time), and, finally, 1:09pm (Time-To-Get-Back-At-It Time).

Now that I'm thinking about the special magic of Digital Time, will the terms "clockwise" and "counterclockwise" disappear from the language if analog clocks are phased out for an entirely Digital World? Will we have to say "round to the right" and "round to the left" in their place? Oh, and if the electricity goes off in some Armageddon-like scenario, will someone have come up with a digital sun dial by then? I think the new Administration should fund research to the tune of millions of dollars to work on that project.
Got the time?

#294: Cutting Remarks

Last night after a pleasant evening watching "1941" in our on-going something-to-do-with- Christmas fare (also the sixth time we've watched it total), I had some post-chainsawing-a-tree ponderings.
Why do we cut down the tree but cut up the same fallen parts for firewood?
Why is a comedian considered a cut up?
Why when you wound someone verbally is he cut to the quick? Just where, exactly, is the quick?
My Lutheran background reminds me of the quick and the dead when reciting the Apostles' Creed in the older format I learned back in the day, so "quick" must mean living, so are you then cut to the living...or to the live parts?!
Why do we ask to be cut a break when we want forgiveness? Wouldn't we do better to be cut an undamaged bit?
Guess I'd better cut out and go do something else! I think I hear the rest of the dead tree wanting to be cut down and cut up!
Got chainsaw?

#293: Anniversaries

Thirty-nine years ago today the United States assigned November 15th "362" as my Draft Number. I was already 1-H Deferred for college and the Vietnam War was over by the time I graduated in 1973. The other factor to short circuit my government sponsored visit to Southeast Asia was that my older brother, Jim, had enlisted both to get his choice of m.o. as well as to keep me out of the service, since Mom was a widow...a ruling for families with several sons ever since the Civil War. It's probably for the good, no doubt, since my sense of direction would probably still have me wandering some part of Asian soil had I gotten separated from my unit.
The Draft I did manage to be included in was the best one, anyway. It was August 17, 1980 that the Lord in essence said, "Follow Me"...no questions asked...chosen, appointed, quickened, given a new heart...OOORAH, OOORAH!!

Today's other anniversary commemorates the first and only candle light dinner of the Grey Havens. Not to worry, it was nothing romantic, purely a practical response-to-an-act-of-God event....a storm caused electrical power outage. The Cook contested my statement earlier when I mentioned it for whatever reason, but once again my prayer journals justify my keeping them...and I quote: "6:52pm, 'Resting now after our first candle light supper due to power brown/black out just as we were sitting down to dinner.'" My older Chinese grand daughter, a.k.a. The Sister, got to join us when she stopped by to report the outage up at The Big House, initiating a new tradition round these parts as she sat and ate with us. (I had conveniently left my phone on the charger at the corners of No & Where!!) ;)

So, what's my point? Mark stuff down, keep prayer journals, commemorate little things and the big things will take care of themselves, create your own traditions...live so as to be missed, as Robert Murray McCheyne used to say!! I've noticed that God used a lightning storm to get Martin Luther's and John Newton's attention, so why not used one to initiate Grey Havens' Hospitality that "transforms lives" according to some?!!
Got candles and matches?