OK, parodies of The Twelve Days of Christmas have been made by all sorts of people. Here is how I plan to open my virtual reality John Deere Dealership sometime in January or Februar
y of 2012:ASSUME (Yeah, I know how that breaks down)...Some philanthropic 'True Love' picks my name out of a hat and gives me the following items, based on my reworking of the 12 Days:
A John Deere by a pear tree = 12 John Deeres + 12 pear trees
This will be the basis of my combination tractor dealership/fruit farm.
--22 Turtle Bars = dessert at the Grand Opening of the facilities.
--30 French Toasts = further foodstuffs available at the festivities.
--36 Blackbirds (from Colly birds) = baked in pies will make a dandy lunch.
--40 Gollum Rings = keep one in order to bring all my customers to me and 'in the dealership bind them' while either hocking the rest for financing and more inventory or sorting through them for the real Ring of Power!!
--42 Geese All 'Eh?-ing'...they're Canadian of course, complete with eggs...BIG Supper for the Grand Opening, if we can get the 'protected species' lifted by the USDA; otherwise, it's egg sandwiches for the first 42 customers who place orders!!
--42 Ugly Ducklings...yeah, the swans stayed as they were because True Love got snookered on this one! However, DUCK makes a dandy dinner if we can't get the above mentioned USDA approval.
--40 milkmaids with cows (hey, they were 'a-milking')...my first 40 employees with connections to the Dairy Association for immediate processing of drinks to go with dinner and some possible creamy vanilla ice cream if we can sell a Gollum ring to buy ice!! (Maybe the local WAWA will chip in on the ice if we use their goose symbol in our ad flyers?!!)
--36 Ladies Restrooms...hey, with all those milkmaids and prospective customers, we have to prepare. Besides, Port-a-Pottie might have given a discount to Old True Love!!
--30 Lords of the Rings...reading material for the Ladies Restrooms and/or door prizes!!
--22 Pipers Piping...these are gonna be the Fantastic Bagpipe Band that will rouse the rabble
--12 Drummers Drumming...naturally, these will be part of the Fantastic Pipers...who knows, if we find the right clan, we can have green and yellow kilts!!
Now, if you're wondering just exactly where we'll be located...the Valley of Wonders from my Age of Wonders computer game...or maybe Middle Earth if the lease on the land isn't too expensive?
Got Virtual Realtor?
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