First of all, why are they called Christmas Carols? Shouldn't they be Christmas Marys, given the main characters of the season? That being said, these thoughts were running around in my head so I thought I'd turn them into free range partridges in pear trees...Good grief...thank you, Charlie Brown...I was just looking up 'bough' and the Dictionary.com word of the day is 'calvous'...'lacking all or most of the hair on the head.' So, if a whole bunch of bald guys riding horses 'save the day' in an old Ronald Reagan movie, would we say, "The Calvous-ry was coming?" But I digress...
"Bough: a branch of the tree, especially one of the larger or main branches." Does Deck the halls with BOUGHS of holly seem a LITTLE MUCH?!! Maybe, in the spirit of Walt Kelley's Pogo we should sing,
"Build a deck with boughs of holly, put on Country tunes and chill the beer.
It's football season...what a folly, if your team wins, be sure to cheer.
Let's put on our sports apparel, act like jerks and go from here.
Trolls will sing a yule tide carol...GET THE GUN I SEE A DEER!!"
How 'bout...
"We three kings of Orient are, taking the train, we busted our car?
We hit field and fountain, trees...a mou-owww-tain...following yonder star!"
"On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...FIVE BATHTUB RINGS!!"
Four calling cards, three French toasts, two Turtle Bars, and a John Deere under my tree!!"
Guess I'd better wane eloquent...isn't that the opposite of 'to wax eloquent?'...and go open some buildings...
Got distorted lyrics of your own?
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