2:187, #491: Food For Thoughts

Since we've just passed through Turkey Day, I have some questions:

Were the herd of swine that ran into the lake in Mark 5 the first case of swine flew?
Did the locals fish them out of the water, grind them up and make deviled ham?
Can you actually 'fish' out pigs, or should that be 'pigged out?'
Will there be deviled ham, deviled eggs, or deviled crab at the Marriage Feast of the Lamb in Heaven?
Will dessert be angel food cake?
How'd it get to be called 'deviled' ham or eggs? The answer to this one is from a Googled site: Since Hell is hot, 'hot' can mean spicy, then spicy foods are sometimes called 'deviled.' Apparently this came about in the late 1700s in America.
Since it's now Advent...when Jesus showed up 'in the skin,' for you church-calendar challenged types...I wonder if there will be wassail at The Feast, or will there just be a lot of wine?
Did God invent barley and corn so we could drink Yuengling and eat Fritos?

2:186, #490 Black Friday Ponderings

Gee, here I am actually on a day off!! I understand 'Black Friday' comes from the economic phenomenon where store owners are supposed to 'get in the black' of financial solvency, but I want to know why we don't call it 'Green Friday' since they're getting all that 'green'...moolah, dough, casharooney...into their coffers. Of course, unless a green Master Card is used, all the plastic that's being swiped...run across the machine, not stolen...is multi-colored. Maybe Rainbow Friday would work, since the 'pot of gold is at the end of the rainbow?!!' Of course, the Green Peace-ers and the Rainbow Coalition-ers might get fussed up about our swiping their colors...stealing, not running across the credit card gadget...so I guess we'll just leave it as is.
Wikipedia actually has listings for Black Sunday through Saturday, so y'all can go Google them if you want some fairly interesting historical reading.
Or, you could pick up a tattered old copy of Black Sunday, the first novel of Thomas Harris, author of the Hannibal Lecter series. By the way, I read Black Sunday, but not the others.
Or, you could go watch one of my favorite movies, "Red October," or go listen to "Yellow Submarine" by the Beatles or "Green River" by Creedence Clearwater Revival.
Just remember that classic line from "Adventures in Baby Sitting"..."Aint nobody leaves here without singing the Blues!!
Got tunes?

2:185, #489: Simple Math

Well, here it is, 21,184 days since I came blasting into this world with only one labor pain, if Mom's recollections were correct. For you math challenged, that would be 365 x 58 + 14 for leap years, as if you cared in the first place.
Now, given that we get 70-80 years average life span according to the Bible, I figure I'm somewhere between 72.5 and 82.8% dead...or, the flip side of the coin is that far along for Heaven bound!!
Of course, 'all my days were written in His book before there was even one of them' according to Psalm 139, so as Stonewall Jackson used to say, I don't have to worry about the day of my death whether I'm in bed or on the battlefield...at least the one described in Ephesians 6:10-20 where we Christians are at war not with flesh and blood but with rulers, powers, world forces of darkness, and spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenlies!! Didja ever wonder, since Daniel's long since in heaven, who the Prince of Persia (high level fallen angel) is assigned to these days?
Got prayers to blow the Devil off his feet?!!

2:184, #488: Soft Hearts and Patience

I just got done praying through a prayer calendar from one of the missions organizations I get them from and it aroused two of my pet peeves with Christians.
1. DON'T pray 'for patience!!!!" If you're a Christian, by definition you have the Holy Spirit within you and as part of the fruit of the Spirit of Galatians 5:22-23...love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness & self-control...you already have patience, so you're actually asking for the trials that James 1:2-3 says are designed for you to use and improve your 'patient endurance' [hupomone in the Greek] that you've already got!! I think it's appropriate that the original Greek is pronounced 'who-po-moan-eh' considering the moaning that goes on among Christian pray-ers.
2. DON'T pray for 'God to soften hearts!!" NOWHERE does He talk of such a phenomenon, so you're doing like the king that Elisha chastised for only striking arrows on the ground 3 times when he was praying to strike the Syrians rather than continuing on so the request would be more effective...you should pray for God to break hearts of stone and replace them with hearts of flesh based on His promise in Ezekiel 36: 26, 27 which also declares He WILL put His Spirit within those on whom He metaphysically operates!

Whew...I'm glad that rant is over!
Got prayer requests?

2:183, #487: My Day Upcoming

Well, here it is, Friday the 13th and there's light rain so I'm inside and taking some vacation time. As I often do, I've looked up Any Day In History [http://www.scopesys.com/anyday/] to see what was cooking today 'back in the day' and moved two days forward for today's post, as well as for some note in my copy of One Year Book of Christian History. So here's what was what on November 15th at various times in history:
Interesting, at least to me, births for this date:
1708, William Pitt the Elder, who guided England to victory in Queen Anne's War, known on this continent as The French and Indian War.
1891 Erwin Rommel, the Desert Fox of WWII fame...who kicked Allied butt until Patton 'read his book,' if you believe the movie.

Now, as for what happened:
In 1492, after sailing the ocean blue, Chris Columbus first recorded tobacco use...and the Surgeon General had nothing to say at the time! Wonder if Old Chris was a cigar smoker after that?
In 1806 Old Zebulon (why'd his parents name him that?) sighted what became Pike's Peak... guess you could say that Pike peeked at Pike's Peak?
In 1861, during The War of Southern Aggression, the United States Christian Commission organized with the specific intent to evangelize Union soldiers.
In 1862, great grandpappy Jacob Antes began his march from Philadelphia to Fredericksburg so that I could get post traumatic stress syndrome while 'in his loins' from being shelled by Stonewall Jackson's artillery.
In 1864, Uncle Billy Sherman put the torch to Atlanta...I guess the Braves' games were 'called on account of smoke?'
In 1951, I shuffled on to this mortal coil, forcibly ejected from a pleasant environment, but not needing my butt slapped to make me cry, since I was yelling from the get go, according to Mom's reports when she waxed eloquent on the subject.

Well, enough of this...Happy Friday the 13th!
Got stupid-stitions?

2:182, #486: Pray Harder

WHY? Do you think your original request was not heard? Do you think your Heavenly Father who tells you to 'rush into His throne room of grace' isn't awake? Somehow I feel like Elijah telling the Baal prophets on Mount Carmel to 'shout louder' so their god can hear them when I think about this phrase that I've read so often in Christian literature and mission letters.

Hey, if you're being obedient and not willfully sinning, ask, seek, and knock and your prayer will be answered...not necessarily in your time, but perfectly in God's. Oh, yeah...if you're praying for something for sinfully selfish reasons...to consume it in your lust, to use James' words...forget it. You might as well stick you head down a well and shout your request for all the good it will do you.

Well, I'm done ranting. Maybe I'll go metaphysically arm wrestle with my Father who loves me as much as He loves His Son. (cf. John 15:9) Judy Collins is singing "Amazing Grace" on my computer, so I'll be pleasanter for the rest of the day. Y'all come back now, y'hear!
Got prayers?

2:181, #485 Pro and Con Testant

Here it is Reformation Sunday and I'm at my computer in a unique combination of orbital patterns not only in the planetary systems but in the circumstances of my day. If the Pro-testants came about as a result of protesting the bad things of the Catholic Church in 1517, were they Con-testants of Catholic theology or non-contestants in the fellowship of the papists?!!

If 'Pro-gress' means moving forward, what does 'Con-gress' mean? And just exactly what would 'gress' be, since 'in' and 'e' both fit at the front of the root letters? Dictionary.com, by the way, does not give 'gress' a definition.

If you have a 'Protest,' can you have an 'amateur test?' If a protest in the streets turns into an armed or unarmed conflict...how can you conflict without arms, kick each other?...does it them transmorgrify into a contest? If you can have a conflict why can't you have a proflict? Or would that be a movie made by folks who know what they're doing?

If you can promote something, would taking the beam out of your own eye whilst looking at the mote in the other guy's become a con-mote? Or would that be something wrong with a guy in jail or who gets people to do stuff by fooling them?

If Herman Melville wrote a book called The Con Man, should somebody write The Pro Man?

Just remember...or learn for the first time...that quote from "Master and Commander"... "he who would pun would pick a pocket."
Got Change?