2:46, #350: Evaporated Milk and Earthquakes

Last year's post of this day was #54: Solomonic BBQ where I discussed one use of cows "back in the day." Today back in 1851 (100 years prior to my shuffling onto this mortal coil) Gail Borden, a committed Christian, announced the invention of evaporated milk. I thought this was an excellent coincidence in the providence of God that I had this fact noted in my One Year Book of Christian History margins from "Today In History" given yesterday's post of Moo-y Bible Institute. Since Borden's milk was used widely during the Civil War, I wonder how many Moo-y graduates contributed to the War effort?!! ;p (I love the phrase "public domain" when I'm looking up pictures!!)

It was Carnation Company that came up with the phrase "milk from contented cows" in 1907...Danggit, I was looking for a direct connection...but, hey, I figger they might also have attended Moo-y U. and "learned to be content in whatever circumstances they were" as Paul writes in Philippians 4:11.

Now, in another one of those providential coincidences, my marginal notes noted that on this day in 1906 the strongest instrumentally recorded earthquake occurred in Colombia, measuring a whopping 8.6 on the Richter scale. (I'm guessing the phrase in "Today in History" means ever!) Well, Charlie Spurgeon's comments were encouraging Christians not to fear in his devotional, Beside Still Waters: Words of Comfort for the Soul (didja get your copy yet?), and included pointing out Job 9:5-6, "It is God who removes the mountains, they know not how, When He overturns them in His anger; Who shakes the earth out of its place, And its pillars tremble..." Plate tectonics have been around for about 6,000 years...oh, it happens to be the year 5769 on the Jewish Calendar for you Old Earthers and Young Earthers alike...just thought you should know. The point? You, too, can be contented even in the midst of earthquakes, literal or metaphysical, if you're held in the palm of His righteous right hand.

So, jump out of the helicopter, forget the 17-second survival rule, and BRING DOWN THE DRAGON!!! (You mean you haven't seen "Reign of Fire" yet?) ;p

2:45, #349: Moo-y Bible Institute

I was thinking this morning that you often see signs that have lost a letter and make an entirely different message. What might a person think while driving through downtown Chicago and seeing a sign that said, "Moo y Bible Institute" for some reason?

Could you expect they would teach the "pure milk of the word" as I Peter 2:2 says?

Would official pronouncements from the President's office be Evangelical Bulls, similar to the Roman Church's Papal Bulls? Would their content be bullish?

Instead of heilsgeschichte...would their world-life view be bullsgeschichte?

Would it be a tuition-free institution because Isaiah 55:1 says, "Ho! Every one who thirsts, come to the waters; And you who have no money come, buy and eat. Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost?"

Would their students be describes as "...consecrated ones were purer than snow, They were whiter than milk..." because of Lamentations 4:7?

Would parades be held and described by the Philistines of Chicago as they were in 1 Samuel 6:12, "And the cows...went along the highway, lowing as they went, and did not turn aside to the right or to the left?"

Would the school motto be Got Cookies?

2:44, #348: Almost

I was just talking with a couple of guys about Jesus and just exactly how salvation is accomplished through him alone, not by any other way. Well, when the idea came up that many people are "almost right" I replied that "almost only counts in horse shoes, hand grenades, and nuclear warfare."
Yep, a Bob-ism I've used for years.
That's it. Time to update the list.

2:43, #347: Happy Birthday, William McKinley

Back in 1843, President William McKinley was born...166 years ago to the day, thank you Frodo. So what's the big deal, you might ask? Well, "The Reverend Aaron D. Morton, who arrived in Poland [Ohio] in 1855 to serve the town's Methodist church, took advantage of the community's interest in religion by holding a series of camp meetings, at which a good number of people were converted. One of them was Will McKinley, a youth Morton found 'genial and pleasant, kind and obliging, his conversation was interesting, and interspersed with glows of unusual light.'" During the Civil War he wrote to some friends about his possible death as a member of the 23rd Ohio Infantry Volunteers,"'This record I want left behind, that I not only fell as a soldier for my Country, but also a Soldier of Jesus.'"

Just so's ya knows...President McKinley was the fellow who got the USofA into the Spanish American War that led to Teddy Roosevelt's famous charge up San Juan Hill, but also put the USofA in the Pacific world when we annexed the Philippines and Hawaii as part of the victory over Spain. Part of McKinley's decision to declare war on Spain was to bring the Gospel to Filipinos. Part of God's plan was to get us Hawaii, so the Japanese could bomb us to get us into WWII, get Jacob DeShazer and Mitsuo Fuchida saved as a result of the attack on Pearl Harbor, and then to use Fuchida to evangelize Japan until his death in 1976...as well as bringing the Gospel to that region of the world through various Americans/Europeans.

Yesterday I pointed out that as long as a Christian is on earth, his job continues. William McKinley's was over on September 14, 1901...8 days after Leon Czolgosz, an anarchist, shot him.
Abraham Lincoln's work was over on April 15, 1865 and Reconstruction was given to Andrew Johnson. Theodore Roosevelt was God's man for the first decade of the 20th century. "And it is He who changes the times and the epochs; He removes kings and establishes kings..."
History can be a fascinating subject if you have the Lord looking over your shoulder, giving you some light as to what He's got up His sleeve at any given point in history.

Got Twenty-first Century insights?

Source: Armstrong, William H. Major McKinley: William McKinley and the Civil War. Kent State University Press. Kent, Ohio, & London, 2000, pp. 7-8, 18.

2:42, #346: Passing On Thoughts

This short thought comes from Thoughts For The Quiet Hour, edited by D.L. Moody, Moody Press, Chicago, 1984. I figure it's been out of print and came back, based on Amazon.com information I just looked up, but I'd highly recommend you get a copy!!

Today's entry was:
Are there not twelve hours in the day? JOHN 11:9
The very fact of a Christian being here, and not in Heaven, is a proof that some work awaits him. William Arnot.

I believe it was George Whitefield who said, "You're immortal until your job is done."
Seems to me both of these guys, Arnot who lived 1808-1875 and was a Scottish Free Church minister and Whitefield who lived 1714-1770, had good ideas.

I guess this is addressed to any of you who are feeling "useless" in the Kingdom or who know someone who feels that way. Well, another smart redneck, the Apostle Paul, told us to "encourage one another" so if you need it...be encouraged. If you know someone who needs the words...pass them on!
Got knot tied in your rope?

2:41, #345: Rapscallion Rabbit

OK, my brain's been on overdrive since 4:30 or so this morning, so Heeeere Goes...

First off, copyright laws being what they are, I've decided to chuck the use of "Wascally Wabbit" since it is clearly part of the Bugs Bunny properties, so I've built Rapscallion Rabbit...even did the original artwork in my Paint program as usual.

I'm wonderin' if folks who make up zodiac personality descriptions don't need to reassess their presuppositions to a more Post-Reformational Van Tillian Zen Buddhist Tao Rationalism. I mean, think about it. Here it is, Year of the Ox, and everybody born is supposed to have certain personality traits. We Rapscallion Rabbits have other personality traits dominating us. You Tigers, Roosters, Piggies and others have others....BUT... what about Conception Year/Month and over-lap of Chinese and Traditional Zodiac?!! I mean, think about it, if the stars REALLY control your destiny...absolute hooey in ANY language as far as I and the Living and True God are concerned...but just for the sake of argument and self-indulgence, take the little OXymorons being born even as I write. They were probably conceived last April, Year of the Rat. Does that make them part Babe the Blue Ox and Part Remy from "Ratatouille"?!! And is a "Blue" Ox naturally depressive, so the Rat/Ox should probably have knives kept away from him/her while working in the kitchen?!!
Or what about the little OXies born from unions made from January to March...births from September to December? Do they get a double dose of Ox-ness? Are they Two-faced Bullheads? Are they doubly full of bull? These are questions that need to be asked, considering our current President's August birthday.

And where's the regular Zodiac fit in then, as I've posted in the past in "#9: Zodiac Triangulation?" Let's use me for example, I'm a Double Rabbit Scorpio/Pisces/Leo, given conception/birth/ rebirth dates. Can you say, totally-depraved-washed-in-the-blood-of-the-Lamb?

2:40, #344: Happy Ox Year!!

For all you who need an excuse to celebrate something and your very merry un-birthday or very merry un-Christmas don't work...It's Chinese New Year...Year of the Ox. I just Googled that phrase and found out, and I quote: "The new year finds new United States President Barack Obama, who was born in 1961, as its No. 1. Ox." I didn't have to make this up!! In any event, I figure I might as well jump out of the helicopter and chase the Dragon...ooops, the Ox.

Given everything under the sun falls under God's providence, according to various sources, Ox Year people:
1. Don't procrastinate...so whatever he's gonna do, he will, as Jesus said,"go and do quickly"... hmmmm, that was said to Judas in Gethsemane, now, wasn't it?!!
2. Are stubborn/obstinate. From what I've heard, the Media folks will NOT get any answers to impromptu questions at press conferences.
3. They like gold, green, and orange. Whoa...two of the three could indicate the TRILLION dollar deal B.H.O. is planning to give us!! Maybe selling oranges instead of apples on the street will be a symbol of 2009?!!
4.They love details, are methodical, and usually work alone, even in a big company. Can the USofA be considered a "big company?"
5. Oxes make friends with Snakes, Roosters, and Rats...can you say Chicago Chicanery?!!
6. Ox Folk tend to be eccentric, bigoted, and anger easily...Danggit, as Elfson says...I just checked Adolf Hitler's birth year...1889 +24=1913...Year of the Ox!!

Well, this Wascally Wabbit (1951) has said just about enough. As Homey Elf would say, "AH, WASSSUP, DOC?!!

2:39, #343: Knock...Knock...

Who's there?
Jesus.
Jesus who?
Jesus who takes away the sins of the world.

What? Did you expect the typical knock, knock joke? I read two devotionals this morning that were based on Matthew 7:7, "Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened to you." Didja ever notice the handy acronym in the order described here by Jesus?
Ask, and it shall be given to you
Seek, and you shall find
Knock, and it shall be opened to you

James...you know, the Show Me Apostle...points out that we don't have because we don't ask.
The guy who wrote Hebrews says we should come boldly into the throne room of grace and ask.
God's "telephone number" (would Heaven be a land line or a cell phone?) is Jeremiah 33:3, "Call to Me, and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know."
Got something to ask?

2:38, #342: Obama Is God's Choice

My proof text? Daniel 2:20-21, "Daniel answered and said, 'Let the name of God be blessed forever and ever, For wisdom and power belong to Him. And it is He who changes the times and the epochs; He removes kings and establishes kings; He gives wisdom to wise men, And knowledge to men of understanding.'"

Now...I understand that we did not elect King Barrack the First (hey, I voted for The Girl!), but the point of the text in its obvious...at least to me...reading is that God raises up ALL rulers, regardless of their titles and historical epochs. Why do I feel the need to state the obvious? Because to a lot of folks, it's not. I believe there are a lot of Evangelical Hand Wringers out there who think America is going down the tubes ("Hell in a hand basket" comes to mind) and are grunting and groaning to get God to cut us some slack.

I have more of a Jeremiah 15:1 view of things these days, "Then the LORD said to me, 'Even though Moses and Samuel were to stand before Me, My heart would not be with this people; send them away from My presence and let them go!'" Take a stroll through Leviticus 18:3 to 26:46 and compare the practices of ancient Egypt/Canaan to those of the good old USofA over the course of our history. For my money, we deserve no contract extension of covenant promises to God's Church because we've allowed this cesspool to fill our land from sea to shining sea and to slop over into the Pacific with Hawaii's contributions.

So what's next? Four years of this Administration, maybe eight. I'm of the opinion that 90 years of atheistic communism from East Germany to the Bering Straights (which puts the former enemy only 2 miles from the borders of Alaska for those of you who didn't notice that) were necessary to prepare the Elect to come to faith by the millions in the former Soviet Union nations and China with all its satellites. Who knows? Maybe by 2100 your progeny (my gene pool is not leaking) will get to see a Great Awakening again...assuming that Evangelicals don't get every nation, tribe and tongue evangelized in the interim and see the Return of the Lord as a result.
Got Scripture memorized so you have it handy when they take our Bibles as Hate Literature?

2:37, #341: Pennies From Heaven

NOPE, this is not about the song Bing Crosby sang in the 1936 movie of the same name. This is about God's provisions that you've either missed altogether or have failed to acknowledge consciously with a "thank you" written in your journals or mentally, if you don't keep journals. What am I talking about?!!

If you were walking along and saw $417.25 abandoned on the ground, obviously not belonging to anyone, would you pick it up or not; especially if you've asked the Lord to provide for your financial needs? Well, on January 23, 1985...24 years ago to the day, thank you Frodo...I made my first journal entry under the Findings category, realizing that every penny, nickel, dime, quarter, dollar, and even an Andrew Jackson or Alexander Hamilton was put there for me to find and retrieve in the Lord's providence for my benefit as yet another prayer answer. In fact, the one $10-spot was cut in half while I was on the tractor just before I could raise the blades while mowing part of the forest at Camp Cornelius!!

So what's my point? Look outside the box for prayer answers...and get some exercise by bending over to pick up those pennies from heaven! If you don't, that's ok, too...it will just leave more for us Penny Pickers to get in the coincidental providence of the Lord...like the $417.25 I've gotten one piece at time.
Got spare change?

2:36, #340: Life...a Four Letter Word

Just ask any baby (a four-letter word to many it would seem) that's been murdered in utero since Roe v. Wade was handed down thirty-six years ago to the day in 1973...the year I got out of college. I remember a wise guy poster of a naked breast back in my college days that had a Surgeon General's Warning on it indicating that drinking from it could be hazardous to your health because of radiation or some such scare. Getting conceived by someone who doesn't really want you and who believes you're just a lump of flesh, not a real human being, has been hazardous to the health of over 50 million little prospective tax-payers. Unfortunately for them, the phrase in the Fourteenth Amendment to the Constitution,"all persons born or naturalized" in the USofA, doesn't include the ones being hauled around inside Momma unless Momma wants them.

Gee, just think if those 20- and 30-somethings were contributing to the income tax pool and Social Security system! Newly induced President Obomber would have more funds for his runaway spending programs!!

And then let's consider the schizophrenic legislation that makes killing a pregnant woman double murder in some states. That must be based on the idea that the baby really is a person...unless, of course an A.M.A. guy agrees with Mommy Dearest to off the inconvenient lump of tissue inside her...which is usually called a tumor in most other cases.

Well, if this rant makes you pray down the strongholds of abortion throughout the USofA, good. If not...

2:35, #339: Givers and Takers

I've been meaning to get around to this for some time. Today's reading in Selwyn Hughes' book, Every Day Light, hit the nail on the head. My view is that in this life there are Givers and Takers. Givers use their time, energy, and wealth on behalf of others, pretty much following Paul's command in Romans 12:13, "Show hospitality." Takers make it their goal to fleece the Givers without getting caught, or by actually making the Givers think they are friends so they are willing to be taken...sometimes for years. They're always "working the angles" of life to gain what they seem to consider an advantage. Christians and non-Christians alike play these roles quite regularly, as I've observed over the last 28 years.

Hughes writes based on Matthew 6:22, "If your 'eye'--your outlook on life, your whole way of looking at things and people--is generous, then your whole personality is illuminated, is lighted up. If you have a greedy or selfish 'eye', your whole being will be filled with darkness." Right on the mark, Selwyn!! By the way, he was a Welsh pastor who lived from April, 1928 to January, 2006.

So what's my point? If you're a Giver who's realized you've been taken, keep a wary eye out but avoid becoming Scrooge in the process...that only gives Satan a victory. Turn the Taker over to the Lord, either to be disciplined as a Christian or punished as a pagan and remain hospitable and full of light.

2:34, #338: Chocolate Brown Bob-isms

Yeah, lunch with Elfson and Archangel produced a saying that will have to be repeated more frequently before it becomes a verifiable Bob-ism. We were talking about the delicious chocolate chip cookies The Cook concocted this time...crisp, dark brown...just the way I like them. Well, I mentioned that they were the kind of cookies that call to me in a Zen sort of way sometime along about midnight...with a glass of milk singing the chorus, "How Can I Keep From Singing?". The possible Bob-ism, reflecting the act of cookies and milk at midnight: "I'd rather get a good night's sleep than be skinny!!" (All you late-night snackers may feel free to quote me to the loved one trying to weight manage you!! OH...you can also cite Leviticus 3:16 as your life-verse-in-the making..."The fat belongs to the Lord" so here I am!!) (YEPPER...another Bob-ism springs to mind!!

Well, the idea of being skinny reminded me of a real Bob-ism I've repeated in my Post-Reformation, Zen Buddhist Van Tillian frame of reference on the same subject: "I can be skinny in my next incarnation!!" ;p

The other phrase I've used enough to get the slender-finger-wave from Archangel is: "They're so full of crap the top of their heads should be chocolate brown." Something tells me that my interest in talk radio and politicians this year will be making this one recur ad nauseum to anyone within speaking distance of me.

Well, it looks as though I need to amend by blogsite sidebar and add a few more Bob-isms to the list.
Got repetitious sayings of your own?

2:33, #337: I Have A Dream, Too!!

Today while I was plowing snow here at Camp Cornelius I was listening to Michael Smirconish on the radio and caught the clip of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s "I Have A Dream" speech of 1963. My dream doesn't involve freedom, but servitude. It involves the American Church actually getting a spine so it can "Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus" the way George Duffield, Jr. wrote back in the 19th century. It would be my version of the Valley of Dry Bones experience Ezekiel the Prophet had many centuries ago, except that all the parts are already together and only the spinal column would be fused in somehow...like the cool clipart to the right.

It involves the 37,000 non-denominational units of the Body of Christ coming together to actually agree to something more than to disagree and go their separate ways. It involves God using the governmental system of the USofA much as He used the Roman Emperors to "build His Church." It involves an actual revival within the Church and an awakening among all the people groups found in North America. It involves a whole lot less talk and a whole lot more action as James 2:15-17 says, "If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food, and one of you says to them, 'Go in peace, be warmed and be filled,' and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that? Even so faith, if it has no works, is dead, being by itself."

If my observations of history are correct, it will in the not too distant future involve what I call the Acts 1:8/8:1 Principle...God causing persecution by the government to accomplish His commands that His followers ignored for seven chapters of Scripture. It involves the Bible being legally declared a Hate Speech Document. It involves those who really believe it and talk about it in public being declared Hate Speechers. It involves concentration camps...
Well, maybe I'm just dreaming...

2:32, #336: Small Puppy Bites

I've got a friend somewhere in the world on special assignment who has needed to learn to take the massive amounts of things he has to do ever since several years ago in small bites. Yesterday I finished my Christmas Puppies jigsaw and got Amazonman to order me a couple more dog puzzles for my therapeutic feng shui practice. (Feel free to click on the pic to see some adorable fur-faces.)

It occurred to me today that those of us who are brain-scrambled enough to enjoy doing jigsaw puzzles have a good way to remind us of doing one thing...one piece, that is...at a time while not letting things around us stir us to manic behavior to try to do more than what the Lord has "laid out for us beforehand that we should walk in it." (cf. Ephesians 2:10) In fact, I think it actually gives us practice to break down life's puzzles into chunks that can be put together to understand a bit of the tapestry the Lord is weaving in our lives. OK, so I've mixed my metaphors...sue me. ;p

You people who are freaking out about "the rest of your life"...especially when your moron brothers and sisters in the Lord bring up the subject because they have nothing better to do with their time...RELAX!! The rest of your life may never get here, so you'd better start enjoying the part of it you've got today...that's why it's call The Present, cuz the Lord is giving it to you even as you read this rant!

So...have a very merry un-Christmas Day opening your Present! Sweateth Thee not...tomorrow will take care of itself...presupposing it gets here and you're here to see it.
Got James 4:14?!

2:31, #335: Rockin' Clipart!

I typed in "vikings" in my clip art file, and voila...up came this cool looking Celtic-like Snake Rock that I have NO idea about when it comes to its symbolism, other than that it looks cool...makes a good desktop background substitute for Alcatraz for the moment, too. So... in order to spiritualize this whole post, I'll say it's a picture of the Serpent of old who's all tangled around himself since he got the boot from heaven and whose head has been crushed when the Rock of Ages stones him...a dynamic equivalent translation in the Newly Annotated Sexton Bible of Genesis 3:15...the first proclamation of the Gospel in the Bible, I believe.

This clipart deal might get fun as I explore various and especially sundry ideas.

2:30, #334: Whale of a Tale

Yesterday I tried to enter the blogosphere and was entangled in cyber-netting much like the poor old right whale literally (should that be litter-ally, since it was trash in the ocean?) was off the Georgia coast that I read about on some news site. I thought, the designation of that fellow was right whale. Does that mean, since we never hear of them, all the left whales have been hunted to extinction? Or is right whale the female designation and wrong whale her mate? ;p

Back in Genesis 1:20 God caused "the seas to swarm with living creatures", in 1:21 He "created the great sea monsters." Then in 2:19, He brought earth and sky creatures to Adam for names, but the text does not mention the sea creatures getting named. So........did God take Adam on a field trip to name the whales? Would the edge of the Garden of Eden extend to the ocean "back in the day?" Did the whales line up like so many biological yachts and get named? Did Adam say, "OK, that one's on that side so we'll call it the right whale, that one over there is the left whale, those two will be the blue and the white because they're so pretty colored, that one's got a hump back so we'll call him Quasimodo, and so forth? Just WHY then would he have chosen sperm whale for one of the big fellows?!! ;p

Well, before this gets out of control, I'm gonna go read my copy of that modern Christian classic, Porpoise Driven Life and put together my Xmas Puppies jigsaw puzzle.
Got oil lamp?

2:29, #333: Food and Mood

While checking out things regarding snow that might be in my work future, I came on an article on Yahoo News entitled, "British study shows big coffee drinkers hallucinate more." Seven cups a day seems to be the trigger. My question is, "Seven 4oz cups or seven 20 ouncers?" OH, and they actually hear voices as a result...probably their bladders screaming, "EMPTY ME!!!!" ;p

The Brit researchers think the caffeine has something to do with it...be forewarned you choco-holics reading this...that comfort food you ingest in huge quantities might just be bringing on those voices in your head. Or, it could be a hidden transmitter your dentist implanted in your last filling projecting a subliminal message so your teeth rot and he gets your business!! (For other uses of transmitters in teeth, check out the 1985 classic "Real Genius" with Val Kilmer; especially the old voice-of-God-in-your-head deal!!)

OH, the disclaimer of sorts is that there is no distinct causal link between caffeine and hallucination voices because "3% of people regularly hear voices in their heads." Now...is this 3% of Brits, 3% of the human race, or 3% of coffee drinkers?!! Think about it, if it's stat #2, that means there are 180 million people hearing voices that the rest of us don't. Britain's only got 60,943,912 people (July 2008 est.) according to my first Google, so we Americans should definitely pick up the slack and bail them out of their shortage, I think; especially after January 20th when we'll all be hearing different voices in our heads.

Oh, yeah, I like the fact that they conclude the article with the idea that food and mood are connected. Like, DUH! Frankly, I think these voice-hearers are demon possessed like the Gerasene guy who had Legion in him until Jesus sent them out for a ham dinner over the cliff.
Got metaphysical gravy and potatoes?

2:28, #332 How Can I Keep From Singing?

Enya is an Irish singer that has my attention with five of her cds since The Cook discovered her "And Winter Came" album. "How Can I Keep From Singing?" is my current tear-jerking favorite single...although..."Auld Lang Syne" by Straght No Chaser is in a dead heat for that honor. I Googled the song and learned it was written by American Baptist minister/literature professor/hymn writer Robert Wadsworth Lowry in 1860...just before the American Civil War was about to kick in! Oh, yeah, the music was written by my all-time favorite, Ira Sankey (a Union Volunteer from Pennsylvania), often know as Dwight L. Moody's side-kick who composed the music to "The Ninety and Nine" as he was playing it in public after a short "help me, Lord" type prayer!!

Enya sings the Pete Seeger version that removes the Christian context. Well, here's how it's supposed to be sung, since public domain covers the hymn today:

My life flows on in endless song;
Above earth’s lamentation
I hear the sweet though far off hymn
That hails a new creation:
Through all the tumult and the strife
I hear the music ringing;
It finds an echo in my soul—
How can I keep from singing?

What though my joys and comforts die?
The Lord my Savior liveth;
What though the darkness gather round!
Songs in the night He giveth:
No storm can shake my inmost calm
While to that refuge clinging;
Since Christ is Lord of Heav’n and earth,
How can I keep from singing?

I lift mine eyes; the cloud grows thin;
I see the blue above it;
And day by day this pathway smoothes
Since first I learned to love it:
The peace of Christ makes fresh my heart,
A fountain ever springing:
All things are mine since I am His—
How can I keep from singing?

2:27, #331: Walking On Water

I was walking on water this weekend...not exactly like Jesus and Peter did in Matthew 14, however. In my case the water happened to be called ice and snow. I also noticed that Big Foot and Angel Toes were doing likewise and left The Tracker clear signs of where they were Saturday night. My Sherlock Holmesian side just couldn't resist a little analytical observation while cleaning up the campus as far as necessary on the Sabbath.

It's interesting to me that my Charlie Spurgeon devotional reading this morning mentioned Christians "walking on water" like Peter. Oh, it comes from Beside Still Waters: Words of Comfort for the Soul and is available at Westminster Seminary Bookstore and, no doubt, other places. In any event, Charlie draws the parallel between Peter's watery excursion and our usual "how'd I get to this place?" reaction when the Lord shows us what's up. The point of this book edited by Roy H. Clarke is to encourage folks in any of the numerous bummer times we walk through. Here's the bottom line:
"You cannot sink while your heavenly Father's hand is near."
Got that?

2:26, #330: Totally Whacked As Usual

I just got done reading a missionary letter from a buddy in Ireland who included a paragraph about The Phenomenal Power of the Human Mind. Smees tath Cbgamride Uisenvrtiy has ccluonedd taht you can raed suftf eevn wehn the lttrees are out of odrer bcuease of the pmanenoehl pewor of the hmaun mnid, as lnog as the frsit and lsat ltteers are in the rghit odrer. I gesus taht we are tulry "frfulleay and wdoflulnery mdae," as Plsam 139 syas. ;p

I'm giving serious consideration to writing the rest of my posts in the above fashion...except for the fact that it just takes too long to figger out the spellings! He also mentions a couple of stats from somewhere, but don't know exactly where:

Dentists recommend you keep your tooth brush at least six feet from the toilet so it doesn't pick up airborne stuff from the flush. Well, I keep a pair of reading glasses on top of a book on the floor next to the commode so I can read when I forget my glasses in the case, but I won't go into detail about what I wipe from them before I use them, so maybe the idea isn't as whacked as it first sounds. ;p

Another stat is that right handed people live 9 years longer than left handed people. Well, I've just strolled through some articles and learned the stat was based on faulty information gathering...gee, there's a surprise. I believe the stat one really needs to keep in mind comes from the movie, "Fight Club:" "On a long enough time line, the probability of survival is zero!" Or as Amos would have said, "Prepare to meet Thy God!!"

2:25, #329: Sacred Cow Epiphany

This morning during my walk around to open up buildings here at Camp Cornelius, I had another minor epiphany. My first thought was, "Do 'sacred cows' give holy milk?" That made me think about the phrase, "the milk of human kindness" that's mentioned by the Ghost of Christmas Present in the Albert Finney version of the movie "Scrooge." The next thought involved an email that I got from a buddy last week about the uselessness of certain body parts. The last point was, "Male nipples...because, why?" THE ANSWER: To dispense the milk of human kindness!!

FYI, according to The Phrase Finder website [http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/247200.html], "milk of human kindness" means "care and compassion for others" AND its origin is good ole Willy Shakespeare, MacBeth, 1623: "Yet doe I feare thy Nature, It is too full o' th' Milke of humane kindnesse."

Yepperrrr...this is what I do, Darling! It's what I do!! ;p

2:24, #328 More Jesus Junk Possibilities

This morning in the wee hours I was thinking about yesterday's post where I reduced "gospel" to "g-s-p-l" to illustrate that it's become a four letter word to most of the world. On the other hand, if you use capitals similarly to a Jesus Junk fad of a few years ago, GSPL could mean God Speaks, People Listen (emphasizing the obedience of those who hear His call)...or God Says People Lose (emphasizing the point of Psalm 2 about how God will crush non-listeners). Think of all the marketable stuff we could produce to use as "witnessing tools!" We could start selling bracelets, pendants, stuffed bears, "wear your faith in your hair lavender barrettes," bumper stickers, glass ornaments...the list is endless with all kinds of monetary possibilities!!

My only question: WWJD? ;p

2:23, #327: Four Letter Gospel

Roughly 10 minutes ago I was shooting the breeze with one of my brothers from the illustrious South. He got talking about a supposed Christian celebrity who could not answer a direct question about her presentation being "gospel driven." He then said, "The Gospel is almost becoming a 4-letter word." I immediately replied, "Remove the vowels, and IT IS!!" (The ironic significance here for you non-Hebrew readers is that vowel pointing was not part of the original Hebrew texts, so in essence they only used consonants.)

Think about it, though...with all the anti-Christian spirit in the USofA here in the 21st century, "gospel" might just as well be spelled "g-s-p-l" so it IS a four-letter word to those who hate it so vehemently. Come on...let's help out the persecutors so we can get the Lord's Return on the road a little quicker...from a human standpoint, of course! ;p

Gotcher prison camp picked out?

2:22, #326: Paranoia Update

I have not gone home to bed yet. I do see an interesting deal from News Max.com where you can get a free radio for a $29.95 subscription to their magazine. The kicker is that "Homeland Security has advised all Americans" to get one...in case of natural disasters or terrorist attacks.

Well, here's the link:[ http://shop.newsmax.com/shop/index.cfm?page=products&productid=587&s=al&promo_code=76F3-1] Feel free to check into it. After seeing the movie "Eagle Eye", I figger it's just another way Big Brother in Amerika under Obama is going to get a toe-hold on where you are to round you up.

But, hey..."all things together for good", Eh?!!

2:21, #325: Spaces Are Important

JustimagineifyouhadboththumbscutoffliketheguysintheBookof Judges,you'dhavetotypelikethis. Wouldn't that drive you nuts if you had to read a lot of text that way. It would be even worse than reading James Joyce's Ulysses where he uses no punctuation at the end of the book when he's inside Molly's head.

So what's my point? If you don't have spaces built into your life, but have it over packed with things to do, you've got your thumbs cut off and your life's gonna crash any day now. Just remember, "busy" is, in fact, a four letter word.

I've got another respiratory infection, so I'm making this whole day a "space" in my life that doesn't have to be "productive." Y'all take time to "come aside" as Jesus told His disciples.
Later.

2:20, #324: Stupidity

Question: What are the two most numerous elements in the universe?
Answer: Hydrogen and stupidity.

Monday when I was taking cans to be recycled (the place was closed until 2009) I got to listen to some talk radio off and on when I could stand it. Well, some guy named Lanny Davis...a Hillarity Clinton supporter, lobbyist for Pakistani government, and author/commentator/pundit...actually said that Gov. Blagojevich of Illinois "has disgraced politics." Just exactly how in the name of my Great Aunt Lizzie's hair bun do you disgrace something as totally depraved as politics? Getting caught? Actually being as Machiavellian as everybody really wants to be? Letting people know they're as stupid as they are to elect you?

Then there was the chat Michael Smirconish had with Joel Osteen, who actually said "people are smart." WHERE? Does this include all those who listen to him and fork over cash for his books and whatnot? Just in case you missed it, when Jesus compares His followers to sheep, He's not being real complimentary, given that sheep are the most helpless, stupid animals around. They live to eat, bleet, excrete, and get fleeced!! Oh, and maybe get turned into lamb chops or souvlaki!!

Now, just how does God cause all things to work together for the good of those who love Him, as Romans 8:28ff states? Well, in part, to conform us to the Suffering Servant image of Isaiah 53; which we help along with many of our stupid decisions. As one example, if you get angry enough to punch a metal cabinet so hard that you actually leave knuckle prints in it, He'll turn that stupidity into a great lesson in what not to do for the rest of your life, brought on by recurring pain when cold and/or damp weather approach .
The lesson Paul teaches in Ephesians 4:26 is, "Be angry, yet do not sin." The Newly Annotated Sexton Bible might read, "Be angry, yet do not punch...especially really hard objects!"
Got examples of your own?

2:19, #323: Greenwich Mean Time

I think the U.N. ought to pass a resolution to change "Greenwich Mean Time" to "Greenwich Kind Time." Think about it...with all the violence and meanness going on in the world, maybe part of it is due to the subliminal affect of our time standard's name. We could change the psyche of the whole human race by instituting Greenwich Kind Time. And we could have a U.N. sponsored brain washing crusade that would point out the change and publicize it to all the nations of the world!! We'd have the happiest Global Village on the planet. Oh, yeah...guess that's redundant, Eh?!

I also think we should pass a U.N. joint resolution (I've often wondered what gets smoked to produce a "joint" resolution) to pronounce "Greenwich" properly. If "sandwich" is correctly said, then "Green-witch" should be correct, not "Gren-itch." And, given the rise in popularity of the Green Movement of environmentally-correct thinking, "Green-witch Kind Time" would really reinforce our post-Edenic need to take care of this mortal coil on which (notice the pronunciation) we're shuffling.
Got time for tree hugs? ;P

2:18, #322: Do What You Want...

Last year I gave you the perfect New Year's Resolution that eliminates all kinds of guilt feelings. Now I've got a long-used Bob-ism to recommend for general conflict resolution when you can see that you're getting absolutely NOWHERE with your arguments.

Here's the saying...I can just see Archangel raising two hands of slender fingers, wiggling them to indicate the numerous times she's heard me say this... "Do What You Want, You Will Anyway!!" ;p
I figure getting steamed up about most things in life is a waste of blood pressure and adrenalin, so I just give the recalcitrant individual my complete "go ahead" and figure I'll take the matter to a Higher Court in my own time by asking the Lord to work out the details.

That's it...what? You expected more?

2:17, #321: Easy As 1:23

Happy 2009 Folks! Charlie Spurgeon's selection on Matthew 1:23 in one of his devotionals inspired me this morning to do some numerical investigation in Scripture akin to my 3:16s and 2:15s queries of 28 years ago. He pointed out that Matthew 1:23 indicates that, "Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and shall bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel," which translated means, "God with us." OK, there we've got The Incarnation/Christ's Divinity covered.

What about other 1:23's? Check this out; which is why I say it's as Easy As 1:23...

Mark 1:23-4: (ok, had to stretch to conclude it): "And just then there was in their synagogue a man with an unclean spirit; and he cried out, saying, 'What do we have to do with You, Jesus of Nazareth? Have You come to destroy us? I know who You are-- the Holy One of God!'" Here we have Demons Existence/Divinity/Messiahship/Omnipotence covered.

John 1:23: "He said, 'I am a voice of one crying in the wilderness, 'Make straight the way of the Lord,' as Isaiah the prophet said.'" Messianic Herald prophecy fulfilled/Lordship of Christ proclaimed.

Acts 1:23-4 (gotta finish the thought): "And they put forward two men, Joseph called Barsabbas (who was also called Justus), and Matthias. And they prayed, and said, 'Thou, Lord, who knowest the hearts of all men, show which one of these two Thou hast chosen.'" Here we have Election in a nutshell!!

Romans 1:23: "[they]... exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man and of birds and four-footed animals and crawling creatures." Here's Willful Idolatry as a result of The Fall.

I Corinthians 1:23: "...we preach Christ crucified, to Jews a stumbling block, and to Gentiles foolishness..." Evangelism 101!!

II Corinthians 1:23: "But I call God as witness to my soul, that to spare you I came no more to Corinth." Pastoral Care For Recalcitrant Sheep!!

Galatians 1:23: " they kept hearing, 'He who once persecuted us is now preaching the faith which he once tried to destroy.'" Conversion Makes a New Creature In Christ...aint that cool!

Ephesians 1:23: "[the Church]...is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all." Doctrine of the Church 101 in short!

Philippians 1:23: "But I am hard-pressed from both directions, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better..." Christian Death addressed.

Colossians 1:23: "...continue in the faith firmly established and steadfast, and not moved away from the hope of the gospel that you have heard, which was proclaimed in all creation under heaven, and of which I, Paul, was made a minister." The Christian's Eternal Hope/Strength sure is a great thing to realize!!

James 1:23: "For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror..." True Religion vs. False

I Peter 1:23: "For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God." Regeneration In A Nutshell (the imperishable seed) ;p

Jude 1:23 (OK, there's only one chapter here...so sue me!): "...save others, snatching them out of the fire; and on some have mercy with fear, hating even the garment polluted by the flesh." The Great Commission With The Heat Turned Up!! (By the way, Bible Works' display of Jude is in the picture!)

So watcha waitin' fer? You came, you saw...go conquer in His Name!! ;)