4:9, #600: Patience

I think the fact that this is post #600 shows that patience is one of those things you might actually have even when you think you don't and show it over the course of time. In fact, for all you Born Agains out there reading this here dohicky, PLEASE DON'T EVER PRAY 'FOR PATIENCE!!!' You've already GOT it as part of the Fruit of the Spirit listed in Galatians 5:22-23, "Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control." When you say, 'Lord give me patience' the actual translation of the mental email is...'please give me one or more of those trials James 1:2-4 talks about that will make me use the patience I've already got in a way that it'll mature me in the faith!!' For all you Bible scholars who passed through Camp Cornelius at one time or another, that would be my 'dynamic equivalent' translation in the Newly Annotated Sexton Bible, should I ever get around to getting one in print among all the various English translations.

Of course, then the question arises whether or not mine would actually be 'an English translation' or would it more accurately/linguistically be considered 'an American translation,' considering we're two peoples separated by the same language...or something like that, as I recall.

I'm including the public domain picture above as yet another good example of patience...in this class by artist Spitzweg. Click on that photo and check out the incredible detail in the whole thing. I've currently got it on my desktop since I think it's cool, and I have a feeling that it might show up in Whatever Happened to Ishmael? sometime down the road, once Old Pappy Ishmael hits land. Oh, and for those of you who may have clicked on the link to WHTI? and have not told me to 'abandon ship' with my noveling, tankewberrymuch. If you've thought about it...Stifle it, Edith! as Archie Bunker was wont to say on the TV show "All In the Family."

Oh, another good use of patience is playing 'Glory of Rome' on Facebook...man, it takes time to do stuff! But, hey, that gives us addictive personality gamers a chance to multitask with another blogging opportunity while waiting for our palace to be upgraded or a report to come back from our scouts telling us we'll get our butts kicked if we try and go up against whatever region's being scouted. Hey, that reminds me...if any of you Friends want to play the game...it's somewhat of a variant of Age of Empires combined with Heroes of Might and Magic...join the game and let me know so I can offer you a cohort-ship and make you a general of your very own legion!

Well, I'm hungry in the real world, so I'm off to the Grey Havens for something that's waiting for me in the fridge that will take NO patience to eat!
Got end of the year resolutions?

4:8, #599: Snow

Well, here it is, the first major snow fall of winter 2010-2011. It's shaping up to be a pip as it started out coming up the East coast with a curling motion that's turned it into a classic Nor'easter! Yippee, Skippee! By the way, the pic is from last year's 'snowicane.'

Since it's the first one, and I have the plow on the truck already and the truck down by the Grey Havens in position to begin plowing at the appropriate time, and since there is no pressure to get anything cleared away except perhaps Carriage House Hill...yes, WTSers of past days...the Student Center is now The Carriage House and Bookstore Hill is renamed, too, in my little part of the planet; SNOW is not currently a four-letter word. Get back to me towards mid-February and I might have a different opinion, but for now we're copacetic!

Speaking of that, I guess I'd better take a walk outside to change my position here at the computer where I've been composing more of What Ever Happened to Ishmael? and perhaps enjoy the joys of tobacco; which, fyi was 'created good' there in Genesis 1!!
Got a light?

4:7, #598: In Praise of Fat

Back in the 80s I was talking to a guy who was a diesel truck mechanic who dressed out around 300lbs. He told the story of working on a truck with the cab tilted forward while it was snowing and the truck was broken down on the road.

He didn't realize that the fuel pump kept pumping fuel over top of him from a broken fuel line and a spark ignited the fuel; which set him on fire for a time. Someone extinguished the fire, called the paramedics, and when the guy was stabilized in the hospital, the doctors told him the excess amount of fat he had actually had protected his internal organs from burning, saving his life.

He vowed never to worry about his weight again. He pointed out that the experience 'burned like Hell' and I pointed out to him that it probably did not, exactly, and shared the gospel with him. Don't know what happened from that, but added him to my on-going Salvation List.
Guess eternity will tell the tale of what came later...

4:6, #597: Names

Great, great grandmother must have had a premonition about her youngest child even while he was still floating around in the amniotic fluid of his first nine-month habitation. Our family Bible which has come down to me indicates that she was a staunch Calvinist who chose to attend a Presbyterian congregation her entire life after she had 'seen the light' as a young girl, as she was wont to say, according to the stories handed down through the years. She was also a prolific writer...which might explain from whence my proclivities come...and had carefully written comments and notes throughout the large volume she apparently read daily for more than 60 years.

There were all sorts of dates throughout the Old Book that indicate that she was in the habit of reading it from Genesis to Revelation about every 18 months or so; which is significant when we realize that Pappy Ishmael was born on the very day she read the story of Hagar's departure with her son of the same name. As I said, she believed her youngest was going to be a wild one even as she carried him, as many mothers down through the ages have anticipated behavior, both good and bad, of their yet unborn offspring. None of the relatives on either side of our clans had had the name of Ishmael and there were no financial supporters to flatter, so her choice of 'Ishmael' can only be explained by providence, fate, or perhaps the fact that she screamed the name repeatedly while pushing the baby out and prior to one of those incantations the doctor asked, "What will the child be named?"

In any event, Ishmael it was. Fortunately for him, he was born in an age when Biblical names were popular, so his 'brand' was not as heinous as that of Cain's. From what we can piece together, however, he would have adequately defended himself had the local New Yawkers of similar age chided him for his mother's choice of names under somewhat stressful circumstances. The question arises, of course, as to why great great grandfather did not alter the naming process; turns out he was thinking of the same name before the birth event and was delighted to hear his wife not only acquiesce, but advocate the name.

As William Cowper, whose works also adorned great great grandmother's shelves, so adequately wrote long before the blessed event, 'God moves in a mysterious way'...children to be born.

4:5, #596: Whatever Happened to Ismael?

Queequeg's coffin had kept great grandfather Ishmael afloat. As he put it when he retold the tale to Mr. Melville, "the unharming sharks...glided by as if with padlocks on their mouths..." implying they were without appetite in the same fashion as the lions in Daniel's story told in the Old Book. He even had a bit of one-upmanship in his detail, adding that 'the savage sea-hawks sailed with sheathed beaks." Family tradition has it that great grandfather's flair for language only got more pronounced as he waxed eloquent about his adventures...frequently accompanied by hearty doses of grog or some other palatable liquid!

Well, you've possibly read that the Rachel picked great grandfather up as yet another orphan of the sea with the mostly satisfying 'Finis' as the last word of the story. It was not the last word, let me tell you. Mr. Melville recounted Ishmael's story in 1851 Anno Domini when great grandfather was still a young man in his prime, with the inevitable 'Novembers of the soul' following in the cycle of the spiritual year that all mankind encounters. Not surprisingly, given the Providence of his rescue from a Hell-bound voyage, Pappy, as he came to be known later in life, encountered many more adventures and actually lived to a ripe old age.

But more of that later...

4:4, #595: The Dickens, You Say

Well, I finished A Christmas Carol a bit ago and have a few more things to say. The scene is Ebenezer and Christmas Present overhearing this conversation about Tiny Tim's church going behavior:

'As good as gold,' said Bob, 'and better. Somehow he gets thoughtful, sitting by himself so much, and thinks the strangest things you ever heard. He told me, coming home, that he hoped the people saw him in the church, because he was a cripple, and it might be pleasant to them to remember upon Christmas Day, who made lame beggars walk, and blind men see.' (My italics again.)

Then, in discussing Tim's possible demise, the Spirit reminds Eb of his harsh phrase, "If they're to die, let them do so and decrease the surplus population. This response is even edited out of the 1951 version:

'Man,' said the Ghost, 'if man you be in heart, not adamant, forbear that wicked cant until you have discovered What the surplus is, and Where it is. Will you decide what men shall live, what men shall die? It may be, that in the sight of Heaven, you are more worthless and less fit to live than millions like this poor man's child. Oh God! to hear the Insect on the leaf pronouncing on the too much life among his hungry brothers in the dust.'

Finally, when Christmas Future's got him, they see the Cratchits once again, hearing just this phrase read 'from a book' by young Peter Cratchit:

'And he took a child, and set him in the midst of them.'

Where had Scrooge heard those words? He had not dreamed them. The boy must have read them out, as he and the Spirit crossed the threshold. Why did he not go on?

The answer to Dickens' narrator's question: Matthew 18:1-3, “At the same time came the disciples unto Jesus, saying, Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven? And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them, And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven."

So, for those who aver that Dickens was only writing a social gospel story, I would contest... Avaunt, Thee, rump fed runions!! (Tip of the hat to Willie Shakespeare!)

Got hot gin punch?

4:3, #594: Unknown Dickens

I'm sitting here reading A Christmas Carol online...let's hear it for technology this time...after watching the Alistair Sims' classic, 'Scrooge,' last night on the 167th anniversary of the publishing of this classic, and have discovered some things not usually made public in or about the Dickens' classic. For instance, in the first chapter when Marley confronts Ebby with the call to Christian evangelism:
'At this time of the rolling year,' the spectre said, 'I suffer most. Why did I walk through crowds of fellow-beings with my eyes turned down, and never raise them to that blessed Star which led the Wise Men to a poor abode? Were there no poor homes to which its light would have conducted me?' (My italics.)

Then, when the Ghost of Christmas Present shows up, Scrooge attacks Christian Sabbatarian behavior and is reproved thusly:
'Spirit?' said Scrooge, after a moment's thought, 'I wonder you, of all the beings in the many worlds about us, should desire to cramp these people's opportunities of innocent enjoyment.'

'I!' cried the Spirit.

'You would deprive them of their means of dining every seventh day, often the only day on which they can be said to dine at all,' said Scrooge. 'Wouldn't you?'

'I!' cried the Spirit.

'You seek to close these places on the Seventh Day,' said Scrooge. 'And it comes to the same thing.'

'I seek!' exclaimed the Spirit.

'Forgive me if I am wrong. It has been done in your name, or at least in that of your family,' said Scrooge.

'There are some upon this earth of yours,' returned the Spirit, 'who lay claim to know us, and who do their deeds of passion, pride, ill-will, hatred, envy, bigotry, and selfishness in our name, who are as strange to us and all our kith and kin, as if they had never lived. Remember that, and charge their doings on themselves, not us.'

I don't like long posts, so I'll wrap this one here.

Source:[ http://etext.virginia.edu/toc/modeng/public/DicChri.html]

4:2, #593: The Necessary

Being descended from two plumbers, I seem to have a natural curiosity concerning Things Necessary...no, not the 'necessary' that Jesus talks about in Luke 10:42 which comes supernaturally, although for the last 30 years I have had that gift, too. Today it's the derivation of the various names given to the facility that we all use, indoors or out. 'The Necessary' is the name I picked up from the movie '1776.' That particular outhouse was located just down the street from Independence Hall and would have been the 18th century equivalent, I guess, of the Jiffy Johns I've used on construction sights 'back in the day;' which in my case was the 1970s.

Which brings me to 'john,' 'crapper,' and 'loo;' all of which are adequately detailed at [http://didyouknow.org/toilets/]. By the way, Google gave me 12,500,000 sites in .29 seconds for 'why the toilet is called john.' I like the idea that old Tom Crapper was a plumber, if you believe the article, even though he didn't invent it. The question then becomes, just what did a plumber do in the 18th century? Yick! ;p And those FRENCH...Mon Dieu!!

For those of you familiar with the term 'head,' well, if you look at the front end...the bow...of a square-rigged ship, down there 'a-head of the wind' that would be blowing from the stern or back end usually, was the place to recycle last night's ship board meal and grog ration! Ironically, on a lot of ships, there was a head carved into the ship as part of the decoration. I guess on land there was the outhouse, aboard ship the REALLY out house! ;p

Well, 'inner room' or 'throne room' are still my preferred nomenclatures. As I've said before, Matthew 6:6 tells us to 'go into your inner room and shut the door' even though it was written before the advent of indoor plumbing and 'pray to your Father who is in secret,' so you're essentially entering His throne room of grace by being in the head/loo/necessary/throne room. OK, that's enough...time to open up some buildings for those who get here early with a long car ride and large cup of coffee! ;)
Got prayer requests?

4:1, #592: Thoughts On Being Four

Yessirree, Bob...four years ago to the day (thank you Frodo) I began this emptying of my twisted thinking onto the Internet.
Thirty years ago to the day, I started my prayer journals which now have 198,062 answers in them.
One hunnerd and forty-eight years ago to the day, great grandpappy Jacob Antes was 'supporting artillery' south of Fredericksburg as Stonewall Jackson shelled the Sixth Corps of which the 119th Pennsylvania volunteers were a part...which explains my somewhat whacked view of things if I got Post Traumatic Stress from 'being in my great grandfather's loins' on that fateful day in American History!! ;P

One of my Facebrook friends once wondered why I ask so many questions on my posts, much as a five year old would. Well, on thinking about it, I always was a precocious child, so I figure I must have started asking questions at least by four, back in 1955, that is. Sheesh, how much water has flowed under the bridge...or pontoons at Fredericksburg... since then?

OH, LOOK...I spelled it 'Facebrook'...must have been a psychological slip of the fingers as a result of crossing the Potomac that wintry day with Pappy Jake that caused the slip...it was icy cold that day, you know! BRRRRRRR!! FYI, I've also called the medium Farcebook, so the unstrategic misplacement of the letter 'r' (coincidentally the first letter in my birth certificate name) provides us with a smidge (thank you, Shannon) of humor. It also sums up my more Scrooge-like view of Facebook; which also is a smidge of why I named this blog as I did, figuring EVERYBODY'S blog was self indulgent b.s...it's just that mine's official!!

Let's see, 4 into 59 equals 14.75...I wonder if that would mean I'm only four in giant tortoise years? Well, why shouldn't we have a standard like that, given that we're often comparing ages to 'dog years?!!' At the other end of the spectrum, a mayfly lasts 30 minutes to one day, depending on the species. So, 1 day = 70 years, 59 x 365=21,535 + 14 leap years + 28 Very Merry Unbirthdays since 11/15; means I'm 21,577 years old in 'mayfly years.' Methuselah eat your heart out!!

Well, I hear some joint compound calling me...NO, not 'joint' as in Marijuana Doobie Brothers, but as in 'smear this goop on the joints of drywall to make a smooth surface to paint!!' Guess I'd better get off vacation time and get back on the clock...would that be in dog years, mayfly years, or giant tortoise years?
Got calculator?

3:97, #591: Three and Thirty

Well, here it is, the end of another year on my particular calendar...this time 3 years that I've been Self Indulging and 30 that I've been tracking part of God's work in my prayer journals. Providentially as I start this entry, 'Child of God' is playing on my computer...one of my favorite anthems from days gone by in my walk along the Narrow Road. Well, here at this maybe mystical conjunction of 3s when I finished reading the Old Testament for the 23rd time and began Matthew at the time of the Christmas Season are some thoughts generated this morning:

If you doze off for a brief nap while reading the Bible, are you truly 'resting in the Lord?'

If Peter had a wife, deduced from the fact that Jesus healed his mother-in-law in Mark 1:30-34...howcome the Popes are supposed to be celibate bachelors? Oh, and what ever happened to Mrs. Saint Pete and her Mom? Did they become part of the Early Church's 'woman's auxiliary' who helped support Jesus in his three year walkabout?

When Jesus sent out the Twelve in Luke 9:1-10, how did he match them up? For years, I figured it would be Simon the Zealot with Matthew the Tax Collector just to teach them how to get along, given their opposite political views. So, I thought it through a bit this morning and came up with these combos: Simon Peter 'the stone'/Judas Iscariot 'the heart of stone,' John the Beloved/Thomas the Doubter, James son of Thunder who wanted to blast folks/Andrew Go Get Them who told people of Christ, Philip the Thick (who didn't realize Jesus and the Father are one in John 14)/Bartholomew (who is always pared up in the lists of the Apostles with Phil), & James son of Alphaeus/Thaddeus a.k.a. Judas son of James...basically because they are who are left.

This process made me wonder just who the 70 Sent Out were in Luke 10, but I don't think 70 others are mentioned by name, so I was not going to hurt my brain over this one. I guess we can find out in Heaven, if it's necessary.

Now, since it's The Noting of Jesus' Birth Season, it is significant that He was born 'on the wrong side of the tracks' in Israel....the only problem is that He was born long before the invention of railroads, so would that phrase have been valid, considering that Roman roads were full of chariot tracks? Just wondering...

When Satan took Jesus to the Temple pinnacle and to a high mountain in Matthew 4 to tempt Him, did they walk/climb or did His Infernal Majesty use some occult levitation powers to impress the One who made him in the first place? Oh, the point of that chapter, by the way, is not to answer my question, but to show Jesus' Divinity and sinlessness!!

Well, I think this is a long enough entry for the end of year #3 of Self Indulgent B.S....talk to you in Year #4!
Got questions?

3:96, #590: Inception's Dreaming

Last night, we of the Grey Havens watched "Inception," the movie that's supposed to be so FABULOUS, according to critics. Well, my rule of thumb has been 'if the critics love it, I won't and if the critics hate it, I'll watch it a coupla dozen times!!' Thumbs down on this one, Gang! Here's the scoop that will spoil it for you if you haven't seen it yet and are planning so to do:

The keys are 1.) the dradle is still spinning when the movie goes black at the end, 2.) the scene where Leo D. says, 'We did grow old together' and you see two gnarly hands holding, & 3.) Ariadne was the girl in X-men who could run through walls. Let me explain...

The dradle is the token that's supposedly the way Leo is supposed to know if he's dreaming or awake. If it stops spinning, he's awake, if not, he's dreaming. At the end of the movie, even though there's a moment's hesitation, it is still spinning when they go black...IT WAS ALL A DREAM!! ;P

In the midst of all the multi-level dreaming and actually pretty decent action scenes, near the end when he is talking to his dead wife at level 4 of the dream world, he tells her they did grow old together as he promised when they married. That tipped me off to the fact that the whole movie is an old man's dream about the life he never lived, his guilt for perhaps letting the old girl commit suicide and/or his euthanasia based help he gave her, and that this was the way he was dealing with the death of his life long partner.

Not only was Ariadne the girl who could run through walls in 'X-men,' which I guess prepared her to run through various levels of dreaming, but Mal was Johnny Depp's moll in 'Public Enemies,' and Arthur was the Cobra scienterific geek in 'G.I.Joe.'...not that those pieces make any difference in the plot of the movie.

Bottom line: Old guy can't handle the death of his wife...CHICK FLICK!
Got Isaiah 46:4, "Even to your old age, I shall be the same, And even to your graying years I shall bear you! I have done it, and I shall carry you; And I shall bear you, and I shall deliver you?"

3:95, #589: Book Worm's 12 Days of Christmas

I've heard various versions of 'The Twelve Days of Christmas' and decided to write one of my own, letting you bookworms get a wish list gathered:

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me The Partridge Family. Holey Moley, Andy, Amazon tells me there are at least 14 in the series!!! ;P

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me two Lonesome Doves and another Partridge Family!

On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me The Three Musketeers, Two For The Dough, and The Partridge Family.

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me The Four Hour Body, Three Cups of Tea, Two of Everything, and another Partridge Family!! ;p

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me THE LORD OF THE RINGS!!!...Boxed edition of course...The Rule of Four, Hull Zero Three, Tragedy at Two, and...yes, you guessed it, another Partridge Family!

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me six Keeping Ducks & Geese (you're getting them as gifts next year!), FIVE YU-ENG-LINGS!!! (to drink while reading!!)...Four so-called BIRDS, three French cookbooks, two Turkey Calls and Calling, and one more Partridge Family!

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me seven Swimsuit issues, six Domestic Geese, THE LORD OF THE RINGS!!! (in Elvish, no less), The Sign of Four, Three Amigos, Two Gentlemen of Verona, and...AGGGGHHH...IT'S THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY!!!

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me eight packs of Old Maids (the card game for when I got bored with the books), seven Wild Swans (another give away), a six pack of goose grease (guess for the seven swans a swimming to cross the English Channel!), FIVE BATHTUB RINGS!!! (how'd they keep their shape?!!), four calling cards (embossed with a bookworm), Warriors: Power of Three, Two-Way Street, and The Partridge Family... WHAT ELSE?!!

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me nine Ballroom Dancings, eight Morning Milkings, seven Swan Thieves, six Mother Goose-ez (gotta keep the meter), FIVE DECODER RINGS!!! ...four Backyard Birds, Three French Hens (yeah, there's actually a book of that name), two Snow White Turtle Doves, and yeah, I know...The Partridge Family!!

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me ten Lord of the Flies (Ebay, here I come), nine Ladies Home Journals (different issues), eight of The Untold Story of Milk, seven Swan Songs, six Duck and Goose-ez, FIVE OF SATURNS RINGS!!! (lotta gas, if you ask me!), I Am the Number Four, The Tale of Three Trees, A Tale of Two Cities, and The Partridge Family!!!

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me (I feel a psychotic episode may have sparked this unheard of gift giving, frankly)...Eleven books by John Piper, ten Lords of Flatbush,
nine Painted Ladies, eight Maids of Misfortune, seven Mastering Swimming, six goose down jackets (to keep me warm while reading outside?), FIVE LORD OF THE RINGS!!! (Director's Cut DVDs)...four The Art of Pishing: How to Attract Birds by Mimicking Their Calls (OK, so we blew the meter!!), three French Revolutions, two turtles in love (to supplement my reading hobby), and...I'm going to type it, believe it or not...The Partridge Family!!

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, Drums Along the Mohawk, eleven pipes and tobacco (for smoking outside while wearing the goose down jackets and drinking the Yuenglings), ten Lords of Finance, nine Lady Chatterlys, eight Maid of Honors, seven Swans In The World, a six pack of Yuengling, FIVE MORE YUENGLINGS!!!!!!!!!, four bird callers, three French horns, two Dove bars, AND OMG IT'S FINALLY OVER..........THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY COMPLETE COLLECTION!!!
Got time to read or shop on Ebay?