3:65, #559: Male Competitiveness

Today I'm wearing a tee shirt that says, "Bald means never having to say 'I'm having a bad hair day.'" Well, a guy who's more bald than I am looked at the shirt, laughed, and then saw how much stubble is left on my cranium and told me I'm just a Bald Wannabe!! His chrome dome was shiny and completely devoid of stubble...making his point conspicuously.
I think this is sufficient evidence to prove a point I must have made some time or other that guys will compete in ANYTHING in which they think they can be superior! But, HEY, why compete in something in which you think you'll be a loser...unless it involves some totally depraved behavior that has rewards in and of itself as long as you don't consider the short and long term consequences?
Got never used shampoo bottle?

3:64, #558: Facewall

Yessirree, Bob, I want it known that I'm the originator of the above term, based on a You Tube deal I just saw on Facebook. The video points out that Social Media is THE thing for folks to participate in these days; especially the 50% of the world's population that is under 30!! Dang, that means I'm older than those 3 BILLION people as well as another huge chunk of the world's folks between 30 and 58!!

As the stats were rolling by on [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFZ0z5Fm-Ng] I thought back to 'the family' in Ray Bradbury's book Fahrenheit 451 which was people talking continuously but not really saying too awful much in the homes of the citizens that took up at least one whole wall of the living rooms of everybody in the land...well, 15 minutes later...I see I'm not as far off in my thinking as I might be. The Wikipedia article at [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fahrenheit_451] actually cites that Bradbury himself indicated that it was his commentary on the effects of television and mass media on the reading of literature, not a commentary on state-authorized censorship.

In any event, way back in 1953 Bradbury predicted that books like those by Walt Whitman and William Faulkner, as well as the Bible were primary targets for the fires. Oh, by the way, 451 degrees Fahrenheit is the temperature at which paper ignites, just so you know. It won't surprise me when America's soon to be #1 piece of Hate Speech Literature...that same Holy Bible...will go up in smoke, along with some of it's proponents who self-immolate like an old lady in the novel instead of consenting to be carted off to the already prepared for-domestic-terrorists concentration camps here in the USofA.
Got the history of Andersonville and Elmira Prison from the Civil War?

3:63, #557: Off The Top of My Head

Just a bit ago I asked on Facebook if guys with thinned out hair gave too many answers 'off the top of their heads' down through their lives... and I've been thinking about the saying and might as well give some further opinions off the top of my head...my hair's already fled the scene of the crime!! ;p

First, being asked that question is quite a compliment in that the questioner has assumed you have a considerable volume of knowledge on the upcoming subject stored 'at your fingertips' or 'on the tip of your tongue' that will emanate 'off the top of your head.' Once again, I think I've convoluted that particular picture analogy and will leave it at that.

Secondly, it is complimentary in the sense that the person is asking you anything at all, expecting an answer that is sensible; which, in my case is not necessarily so!

On the other hand, it could indicate that you're an opinionated blowhard and the questioner is merely giving you another chance to wax eloquent on something about which you have no clue! Well, in any event, those are just the first thoughts on thoughts off the top of my head?
Got sunscreen or a good hat?

3:62, #556: Rich vs Riches

I was just inspired to shoot off my computer...the electronic version of shooting off my mouth...by a quote on Any Day in History. Mr. Anonymous...a really smart guy with a lot of published materials, actually...said, "It is better to live rich than to die rich." I'd have to say I agree... especially considering how much money I don't currently have in a bank account.

I do, however, have an ever growing family as the gospels promised that has not only an international flavor to its members but enriches me in many ways, mostly in the precious nature of the relationships engendered as a result of being mutually adopted children in God's family!!

Now, when I come to the end of my days...which, frankly, could be even as I type, given James' comments about our being a vapor that could be here today, gone today...I certainly hope and plan to have people say as the last lines of "Second Hand Lions" assert, "Did those men in great grandfather's stories really live?" "Yeah, they REALLY lived!!"

3:61, #555: Aeromancy

I learned a new word from Dictionary.com today, aeromancy; which means the prediction of future events by observation of weather conditions. Jesus and my maternal grandmother mentioned this subject when they talked of "Red sky at morning, sailor take warning/Red sky at night, sailor's delight"...He in Matthew 16:2, 3 and she during my childhood.

In some respects, I guess I'm an aeromancer, too. For instance, when I look up and the rain is coming down on me, I can predict that I'm going to get wet. Or, from a Biblical view of things, when it's raining outside, I know it's God's will that I work inside or take some vacation time! ;)

When folks ask me questions about what sort of weather I expect, my classic line...a Bobism, I guess... based on Genesis 8:22 is 'There is a 100% chance of some kind of weather...or the end of the world!'

Just remember, step into the eye of the storms of this life...get out of the wind!!
Got spiritual barometer?

3:60, #554: Anatomical Anomolies

I was just posting on Facebook and asked the question, "Why do we 'get things off our chest' and not some other part of our anatomy?" Since things can be 'a pain in the neck' or 'a pain in the butt,' shouldn't we 'get things off our neck or butt?'

Likewise, if you're planning on being observant, you 'keep your eye out' for someone...shouldn't that be extremely painful?! I guess it is metaphysically if the anticipated arrival continues to delay and you have to wait and wait and wait...

Oh, and jumping across to the Bible...across what?...was Paul's 'thorn in the flesh' really a 'pain in the neck/butt' linguistically speaking, and, therefore, some person with whom he had to deal and work all those years who God used 'as iron sharpens iron' for Paul's well being in the long run?

Continuing on the 'pain in the neck' theme...people these days frequently 'give us The Finger' as the most pejorative way of expressing themselves (or a backwards way of telling us 'You're Number One') and yet 'thumbs up' is a good sign, counterbalanced by 'thumbs down'...both left overs from the days of the Caesars and gladiators.

Oh, and just why do we 'get a leg up?' Seems as though that's a rather awkward position...unless you put your foot on a chair or something like that to tie your shoelaces.

Well, before we get too 'down in the mouth' about these anatomical expressions, I'd better 'keep on trucking' to the next thing on God's Daytimer for me!
Got your' eye on the ball,' 'your shoulder to the wheel,' and your 'ear to the ground?'

3:59, #553: Nicknames

Dictionary.com just informed me that 'nickname' goes back into the 14th century and has its roots in Old English for 'additional name.' Isn't that special?!! Well, for some reason today I feel like pontificating on nicknames.

'Reds' is frequently used for a person who is a red-head. Oh...did you ever notice that most redheads are really orange heads in the spectrum of colors?!! I'm figuring just plain laziness is the reason...fewer syllables and all that.

Of course, 'Bob' and 'Rob' are the naturally lazy way to introduce 'Robert' whoever he is. I never understood why guys with that name insist on being called 'Robert.' It seems a bit to formal for my taste, but works well for Mom when she's about to chew one out for some perceived personality fault. Oh, and HOWCOME 'Bobby' is for little kids and athletes...and occasionally in a somewhat pejorative fashion for Robert E. Lee?!!

'General' is one I've gotten from some guys who have observed me commanding victorious armies in Civil War Generals 2 down in the basement of Stone Walled Presbyterian Church. One ex-Marine gave me the honorable sobriquet of 'Gunny'...short for Gunnery Sergeant in The Corps, the guy who is usually running things on a practical basis while the officers divvy up commands.

Civil War Generals were renowned for nicknames: 'Stonewall' Jackson was also known as 'Deacon Tom' for his Presbyterian church work, 'Tom Fool' by his VMI students because of his over-seriousness and dedication to repeating lectures, 'Old Blue Light' for his piercing eyes, and 'Old Jack' by his men who groused about his severity by loved and respected him for how he whipped them into top fighting units.
Robert E. Lee was early known as the 'King of Spades' for his propensity for having troops properly entrench and 'Granny' because of his age/white hair/early conservative nature.

And of course, good old George Armstrong Custer was 'Yellow Hair' to the Sioux who annihilated him and his Seventh Cavalry. George Gordon Meade was 'Goggle Eyed Snapping Turtle' due to his temper. William Tecumseh Sherman was 'Uncle Billy' to his Union troops. Winfield Scott, whose 'Anaconda Plan' eventually helped win the Civil War for the North, was 'Old Fuss and Feathers.'

I could go on, but I feel like doing battle on my computer screen so I can 'march to the sound of battle.'
Got nickname of your own?

3:58, #552: Chipmunk Update

A couple of posts ago I talked about the Grey Havens Chipmunk Squad. Well, I decided to rename a few of them based on my observations as well as my Civil War Buff/Historian status.
Old Stonewall continues on in his Presbyterian path, but now he apparently has progeny I've named Sandy Pendleton after Tom Jackson's aide-de-camp who also was a Christian. Not only does the little fellow gallop across lawns and blacktop, but he even travels a goodly distance along Camp Cornelius's Church Road Wall...clearly descended from Stonewall.

The striped cavalier I named Cornelius has become George Armstrong Custer now that I've further observed his behavior patterns. He cuts across the Library lawn to enter the forage field of battle and invariably JEB Stuart takes time out of his feeding habit to engage in the not-quite-largest-cavalry-battle on the North American Continent. Actually, it's a re-enactment of the cavalry duel on the third day of the Battle of Gettysburg; which happens to be July 3, 147 years ago!!

Rocky has been changed to Nathan Bedford Forrest because of the path he travels, the length of the distance he carries his forage, and finally his propensity to attack birds his size and bigger. He usually gets there 'first with the most' as his namesake did to win battle after battle.

Then we've got Ambrose Burnside who forages admirably, but when the warfare begins, beats a hasty retreat to his burrow only 10 or 12 feet away in the corner of the Library/Academic Center area.

Finally, Chippy, the original who got his picture taken, apparently birthed Bobby Lee who travels the same basic path as Pappy but does some incredible foraging so his cheeks are bloated when he heads home. He does take over the concrete area from all sorts of birds, so like his namesake, he always leaves 'in possession of the field of battle.'

3:57, #551 The Epilogue of God Caused the Civil War

Every history book should be able to answer the question, “What’s your point?” It has not been to add one more to the ever growing list of books written on the Civil War. More than seventy thousand published titles adequately fill that bill. It is not to make money from the sale of another book on the War, although that would be a pleasant side effect. It is to indicate that God, in fact, was the primary agent causing the Civil War, using people, places, weather, and events in specific ways to accomplish His ends. The coincidences of the Civil War were designed by the God of Israel and were not the result of fate, luck, destiny, or impersonal providence. The logical extension of this reasoning is that God caused all wars throughout history to bring about His Biblically stated purpose, and then they will know that I am God. Andersonville survivor, Warren Lee Goss, wrote at the end of his book, “Revenge is not tolerated in the light of our high, ennobling civilization; but when I behold the South, stricken and suffering from fire, famine, and the sword, as one of the results of the awful civil contest just closed, I seem to see the hand of God’s retribution seeking out and visiting her crimes with chastisement. If in coming times, as in the past, she shall sin against the moral ideas of the age, or if we, as then, become participants in her crime, so shall we reap, with her, the punishment of those crimes.”(1)

Author Mitchell Snay points out in his work, Gospel of Disunion, that prior to the Civil War, the spiritual split on North/South lines in each of the mainline denominations of the United States over the issue of slavery was the spiritual precursor to the North/South split politically during the Civil War. Hartford Institute for Religion Research identifies that there are “35,000 independent and nondenominational [apparently Protestant Christian] congregations currently with approximately 10,000,000 members in the United States, making these congregations a large but relatively anonymous presence in the U.S. religious landscape.”(2) It appears to be a continuing and growing trend. Evangelicals fight among themselves about anti-abortion tactics as much as they did anti-slavery activity. Every new independent congregation formed illustrates the spirit of secession that split the South from the United States, but also which caused West Virginia to break off from Virginia, north Texans to talk about seceding from Texas, and Governor Joseph Brown to threaten to take Georgia out of the Confederacy at various times. The spiritual fragmentation of the Church into thousands of independent congregations, as well as thousands of parachurch organizations, is the likely spiritual precursor to political fragmentation of the United States into a continentally encompassed feudal state where locality and its immediate demands take precedence over the concept of one nation under God. The alternative is repression of this spirit in such a fashion that centralized totalitarianism is the likely result.

The Church has stood by and allowed abortion to be legal for three decades, just as it stood by and justified slavery for two hundred and fifty years. It has allowed prayer to be removed from public schools for four decades. It has allowed the societal practices condemned in Leviticus 17-28, that describe the lands of Egypt and Canaan of the 15th century B.C., to dominate its culture. Poll takers estimate that 30-35% of Americans claim to be Evangelicals. They should be changing society more now than they did before the Civil War. The United States stands at a time in its history as controversial and pivotal as the middle of the nineteenth century. If Evangelicals in America do not more actively live out their expressed beliefs, then “the time has come for judgment to begin at the house of God; and if it begins with us first, what will be the end of those who do not obey the gospel of God?”(1 Peter 4:17) As Abraham Lincoln said at Gettysburg, Americans of every description have a great task before us. May God cause us to walk by His light, since the handwriting is on the wall.

Sources: 1. Goss, Op. Cit., p. 242.
2. Hartford Institute for Religion Research, “Nondenominational Congregations Today”, [http://hirr.hartsem.edu/org/faith_congregations_nondenom_FACT.html][cited 4/13/05]