2:163, #467: Monday School

Howcome...if we had Sunday school yesterday, we don't have Monday school today? I mean, the Mamas and the Papas had "Monday, Monday," so it seems to me we should Thank God [when] It's Friday, visit Ruby Tuesday's for a cold one, and remember "It's Saturday night and I ain't got nobody"... thanks to Sam Cooke, one of my favorite singers of the 60s, who might be "Sittin' On the Dock of the Bay" even as we speak, with that "great cloud of witnesses" of Hebrews 12, since he was a preacher's kid, according to Wikipedia. Of course, being a preacher's kid no more gets you into heaven than living in a garage makes you a Buick, but I editorialize.

I'm reading through Deuteronomy these days on my once-every-about-18-months read of the whole Bible and I'm wondering, based on Dt. 7:9, just who my Goyim ancestors were about 9AD who followed the Lord from whom I'm reaping blessings of God's covenant and mercy with them here in this 1,000th generation closer to The End Of All Things...can you tell I've now got "Lord of the Rings" music playing?

Well, it's getting time to open up and decided just what kind of work I want to do for either myself and/or the folks here at Camp Cornelius, so "Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's Off To Work I Go" with Dopey, Sneezy, Doc and the rest of the Dwarves...
Got mithrail shirt? THAT SHINY SHIRT IS MINE!!!!!!!

2:162, #466: Typo Blood

Yes, indeed, I have type "O" positive blood coursing through my veins (I knew the pic I took of my thumb laceration would eventually come in handy...pun intended, of course), but I often have typo blood when I'm sitting at the keyboard. For instance, I'm transcribing my handwritten journals into my computer and hit an extra key so "testimony" was changed into "testimoney"...a Freudian slip comparing God vs. Mammon?!! ;p

The other day on Facebook, I noted that if you remove the 'r' of "reciprocal good feelings" from "friend" you get "fiend" and from "brother" you get "bother." It seems that there's a Proverb stuck in there about "a friend who sticks closer than a brother;" which would transform into "a fiend who sticks closer than a bother." Might be on to something there in the old spiritual warfare battle.

Well, it's time to go to work, so I'll shift from O, pen-ing this post to opening buildings?
Got typos?

2:161, #465: Make Lists, Not War

Generally speaking, wars could be avoided if folks would "count the cost" as Jesus said in Luke 14:31. For instance, if the Confederate States wannabes had actually made lists of their resources vs. those of the North, they might have decided to do away with Stese rights and slavery; except, of course, that they were providentially pushed into Civil War so He could convert 300,000 Americans in the midst of killing off 600,000.
I've actually been called Mr. Lists by friends because I keep To Do Lists on 3 x 5 cards at work, Movies We've Watched Lists (sorted by chronology and cross referenced to frequency), a Salvation List of Aints I'm praying to be Saints, my Da Vinci File list of room paint colors/when painted at work, my Projects File of major things done at WTS 'on my watch," my Ultimate Knowledge File which lists just about everything my replacement will need to know to do my job when I croak, and my Prayer Journals which list over 188,000 prayer answers right now.
Now, my title for this post comes from my totally depraved, vindictive natural man tempered by Romans 12:19's quote of Dt. 32:35, "'Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,' says the Lord." Why do I need to bother with getting back at folks who have done me dirt? I just put them on my Salvation List--"hammer him until he gets saved" kind of prayer or "give him justice in Your time, Lord;" which opens the door to Hell if God's got it planned for the offender.
Sooo...got pen/paper/computer files?!!

2:160, #464: Things Bull

This was another one of those wake-up-with-my-brain-in-high-gear-at-5am mornings. Today I was wondering:

If a retired Spanish matador opened a Paris Bistro, would he call it Cafe Ole? Would he use red tablecloths? Would he serve Red Bull drinks? Would Al Gore be the Maitre D'? Would they serve Borden cheese products? Would they use old swords for shish-ka-bobs...ooops, Dictionary.com just informed me that it's shishkebabs. Well, if I ever open a restaurant, they'll be shish-ka-Bobs!! ;p

Would politicians hold conversations there that could be described as bull chip cookies and milk? Oh, and WHY is it that we use the coarse phrase bulls'it to indicate lying, things which are lies, and the like? FYI, Dictionary.com indicates that it's origin is circa 1910-15...must have been started by some of those bad boys that got the planet involved in World War I, I guess.

Why is the middle of the target called a bull's eye? I can understand the phrase, "like a bull in a china shop," so I don't go in them these days.

I guess "Bullish" is used in regard to the Stock Market because the optimistic traders are ready to charge ahead with their investments, but "Bearish"? Maybe it indicates caution because the Market will rip you head off like an angry mother bear robbed of her cubs as Proverbs says?

Well, God in His infinite wisdom and planning had Mom and Dad name me Robert Murray, but everybody just calls me Bob. And we ALL know the title of this blogsite, now don't we?
Got B.S.?

2:159, #463: Biblical Ponderings

If a bottle with gas in it is a Molotov Cocktail, should a cup of the wine Jesus made from water be considered a Mazel Tov Cocktail?

Based on my current reading of Leviticus 11, we're not supposed to eat Joe Camel, Bugs Bunny, and Miss Piggy.

Pork..."the other white meat"...is also "the demon preferred meat," based on the casting of Legion into the swine story in the New Testament.

Since Leviticus 3:16 says, "The fat belongs to the Lord," it's ok for Christians to be gluttonous?

It seems providentially ironic that the mnemonic H.A.M. helps me remember the real names of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego...Hananiah, Azariah, and Mishael...especially since the young men refrained from eating the King's choice foods to prove Daniel's point.

Is there anywhere in Scripture where it says I can be Jester in the Court of the King of Kings, given that "He who sits enthroned in Heaven laughs?"

2:158, #462:Rainy Day Thoughts

Here it is raining again during the wettest summer we've had in decades...perhaps EVER since The Flood and I'm in my office because I can't be out on the John Deere zero turn mower where I was going to be...seems like Proverbs 16:9 wins again, "the mind of man makes its plans but the Lord directs his steps!" On the other hand, it was clearly God's will that I not mow grass this afternoon since He's the one who gave us the rain. As a result I was smoking a good cigar on the back porch of The Big House, talking with one of my brothers about tobacco and its effects of health and personality.

Now I'm in my office looking at a carton I discovered the other morning during my opening up routine. It says "Horizon Organic" with a cow jumping over the earth. I'd include a picture, but I'm ten-fold paranoid, so just Google those two words and click on the "Images" tab if you want the visual! Anyhow...underneath Old Bossy it says "DHA OMEGA-3, helps support a healthy brain, 100% vegetarian source of DHA Omega-3. Then it goes on to say, "2% organic REDUCED FAT milk, 38% less fat than whole milk and a bunch of other stuff.

I'm wonderin' if you drink this stuff and it gives you a healthy brain, will you realize:
1. 2% + 38% do NOT = 100%...and does that mean that either it's got 98% of the fat or 62% of the fat still left in it?!!
2. ALL milk is organic...as is all bull chips and other left overs from last night's dinner are organic. In fact, anything with carbon in it is organic.
3. MILK is a product that comes from mammals...aint no vegetables puttin' out this stuff, so what's a vegetarian...at least a strict one...care about all this anyway?!!
4. You might as well drink milk and have this company's sales plummet through the barn floor?
5. Since they produce this milk "without antibiotics, added hormones, pesticides or cloning...just what kind of bacterial crap might you find in it?

Got bull chip cookies to go with your Organic Milk?

2:157, #461: Personality Tests

I learned a long time ago that I'm an addictive personality...when all else fails, state the obvious. But then I realized when I worked with drug addicts and a guy called me a Jesus Addict that he had summed up the thrust of the Gospel...swap your addiction to sin that you were born with to an addiction to Jesus when you're born again!!

Anyway, I just took the Myers-Briggs Personality test on Facebook...third time's the charm, I say. This time around I came up ISFJ. Last two were ISTJ and INFJ. So, it looks like I'm a Counselor, Inspector, and Protector all rolled into one, based on the personality wheel gizmo I just looked up. And what, you say, does this have to do with anything? DUH...what's the name of this blogsite?!! I got up at 4:30am for the second time this week and I'm totally self-indulgent with a cup of coffee in me!! Notice that the consistent bookends of the letter system are "I" & "J"...introverted...always thinking about myself first, big surprise and judging...checking things out and assessing values to it with or without a judgmental attitude...just following orders from Matthew 7:15-16, "Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes, nor figs from thistles, are they?" And this command to judge comes after the stick-it-in-your-face-verse people use to tell Christians to be mindless, "Judge not that you be not judged"...ALWAYS out of context.

OK, so I'm getting preachy...further self-indulgent B.S.
Got mortar for the joints in the wall behind me?

2:156, #460: Pharaoh and Miss Piggy

I'm currently reading through Exodus and something struck me the other day. When Pharaoh was given the option to call off the frogs plague, he said "tomorrow" instead of "RIGHT NOW!!!!" Was he a former incarnation of Miss Piggy in love with all his Little Kermies or what?!! Was he expecting some French cuisine with an order of frogs' legs...tastes like chicken, ya know?!! What exactly did he hope to accomplish by a 24-hour delay? This was one world politician who really didn't know what time of day it was!

This morning I also made a couple of lists: Plagues in Exodus/Plagues in Revelation. In Exodus the Lord hammered each of the Egyptian gods with water to blood, frogs, lice (gnats), flies, livestock disease, boils, hail, locusts, darkness, and dead first born. In Revelation He skips the frogs, lice, and flies, but I'm guessing they'll show up with all the corpses laying on the ground and floating in the water when He turns 1/3 of the sea to blood, 1/3 of fresh water to wormwood, and kills off 1/3 of mankind. Then there'll be the fun of smoke/locusts, lightning/hail, loathsome sores, men scorched with great heat, darkness/pain, earthquake and 1,000lb hail.

Oh, did you know that "Chernobyl"...the name of the 1986 nuclear plant disaster...is Russian for "Wormwood?!" Is that Miss Piggy flying over?

2:155, #459 The Cane Ridge Revival

Back in 1801, Presbyterian worship services in Kentucky got drastically changed on this date when the Spirit of God moved on a series of meetings for the next 10 years to create The Cane Ridge Revival in an area that The One Year Book of Christian History considers "apathetic." It's of linguistic interest to me that "apathetic" is made up of "pathetic"...causing sympathy or sorrow...and the prefix "a" which normally means "not." Sooo...not causing sympathy or sorrow should be something which causes joy, I think, but apathetic means you basically don't give a hoot...go figger.

Similarly, we use "pathetic" frequently to indicate that an individual is to be looked down upon, so "not pathetic" would be someone to admire...maybe that's why the American Couch Potato has become an unsung icon in the panoply of personalities in our land. Maybe we can expect some sort of Revival to occur across the USofA in the not too distant future?

2:154, #458: Biblical Punning

Ok, lookout...here they come:

If "the Spirit of God was moving over the surface of the waters," as Genesis 1:2 says, does that make Him the Original Surfer who inspired Duuude-eronomy, the 5th book of the Pentateuch?

When I saw "The Ten Commandments" the other night, I thought, "Should 'Exodus' really be pronounced "Exit-us?"

Was God the original Bookie, given there is the Book of Numbers?

In the Candy Cane Version of the Bible, would the 8th book be renamed Baby Ruth? Would it be about her early years and teens?

Does the Book of Job indicate that we were created for work?

Was Song of Solomon the original sexy rock 'n roll tune? If you read it backwards, do we find out who buried Paul?

If you feel like the guy in The Scream (public domain pic, of course)...go right ahead!
Got deep breath?

2:153, #457: Jewish Dispersions

Today's fascinating fact in The One Year Book of Christian History is that on August 2, 1492...the same year Columbus the Christian discovered the New World...ALL Jews were kicked out of Spain. It turns out that it was the 9th of Ab in the Jewish calendar...the same day in the Jewish Calendar they got removed from Jerusalem in 586B.C. by the Babylonians, by the Romans from Jerusalem in 70 A.D., and kicked out of all of England in 1290.

I guess when God predicted back in Deuteronomy in the blessings and cursings sections to spread His people out all over the place when they were disobedient to Him, He wasn't joking or exaggerating.

The bas-relief from public domain is of the sack of Jerusalem in 70 A.D. Does anybody think that Adolf Hitler might have been the logical 20th century version of Nebuchadnezzer and Caesar? After all, his Nazi eagles looked just like those of the Roman Empire. And while I think of it, Babylon, Rome, and the Third Reich with their eagle emblems are gone...does that bode ill for the USofA and our bald eagle mentality?