5:12, #629 The Big O Trifecta

Back in the Day...that would be 1983 in this case...I had a bit of an epiphany; which is why I write about it today, given that Epiphany Sunday is approaching. I was reading Ephesians 6:10-20 and was impressed that we Saints are supposed to, "... pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints..." Well, being the practical guy that I am, my question that day was, "How?" I certainly don't know all their names nor do I have the time to ask individually even if I did...now THAT would be a list for Mr. List Keeper!!

The epiphany came when I looked out of myself to God's character; hence the title of this piece. Got is Omniscient (all knowing), Omnipresent (everywhere), and Omnipotent (all powerful), so I realized I can rely on Him to sort out and apply my requests for all the saints. As a result, I made my All Saints prayer category and applied Ephesians 6:10-20 to us all. Oh, Jesus-believers are addressed as 'saints' or 'holy ones' in some of Paul's letters; which is how I named this category of folks. Needless to say, the corollary group of folks is my Aints List for whom I request the same grace from God I've got, applied in His perfect way and time.

Well, my request then and since has been that ALL Christians would "stand firm in Him, put on the whole armor of light, realize the spiritual warfare we're in, pray for all other Christians in the Spirit, and boldly proclaim the gospel wherever we are." Similarly, Col. 1:9-12 has been oft-repeated for our growth in the knowledge of Him and His will, a 'worthy walk,' strengthening from Him, a thankful attitude, and fruit bearing lives. And the foundation of this whole deal is God's Big O Trifecta attributes mentioned above.

Paul says in 2 Corinthians 10:3-4, "For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses." Everyone and everything are within our range, given our Father's abilities...
Got artillery shells?

5:11, #628 My John Deere Dealership

OK, parodies of The Twelve Days of Christmas have been made by all sorts of people. Here is how I plan to open my virtual reality John Deere Dealership sometime in January or February of 2012:

ASSUME (Yeah, I know how that breaks down)...Some philanthropic 'True Love' picks my name out of a hat and gives me the following items, based on my reworking of the 12 Days:
A John Deere by a pear tree = 12 John Deeres + 12 pear trees
This will be the basis of my combination tractor dealership/fruit farm.
--22 Turtle Bars = dessert at the Grand Opening of the facilities.
--30 French Toasts = further foodstuffs available at the festivities.
--36 Blackbirds (from Colly birds) = baked in pies will make a dandy lunch.
--40 Gollum Rings = keep one in order to bring all my customers to me and 'in the dealership bind them' while either hocking the rest for financing and more inventory or sorting through them for the real Ring of Power!!
--42 Geese All 'Eh?-ing'...they're Canadian of course, complete with eggs...BIG Supper for the Grand Opening, if we can get the 'protected species' lifted by the USDA; otherwise, it's egg sandwiches for the first 42 customers who place orders!!
--42 Ugly Ducklings...yeah, the swans stayed as they were because True Love got snookered on this one! However, DUCK makes a dandy dinner if we can't get the above mentioned USDA approval.
--40 milkmaids with cows (hey, they were 'a-milking')...my first 40 employees with connections to the Dairy Association for immediate processing of drinks to go with dinner and some possible creamy vanilla ice cream if we can sell a Gollum ring to buy ice!! (Maybe the local WAWA will chip in on the ice if we use their goose symbol in our ad flyers?!!)
--36 Ladies Restrooms...hey, with all those milkmaids and prospective customers, we have to prepare. Besides, Port-a-Pottie might have given a discount to Old True Love!!
--30 Lords of the Rings...reading material for the Ladies Restrooms and/or door prizes!!
--22 Pipers Piping...these are gonna be the Fantastic Bagpipe Band that will rouse the rabble
--12 Drummers Drumming...naturally, these will be part of the Fantastic Pipers...who knows, if we find the right clan, we can have green and yellow kilts!!

Now, if you're wondering just exactly where we'll be located...the Valley of Wonders from my Age of Wonders computer game...or maybe Middle Earth if the lease on the land isn't too expensive?
Got Virtual Realtor?

5:10, #627 Frankenstein in a Monkey Suit

Yep, that's my assessment of 'Rise of the Planet of the Apes!' It also swipes a lot of themes and scenes from various other movies. If you've seen it, you might see my comparisons. If you haven't and plan to, I'm not going to spoil the movie for you. If you're not going to see it and don't care...may your True Love give you 3 French toasts, 2 Turtle Bars, and a John Deere by the pear tree!!

OK, here we go:
Frankenstein: James Franco, the scientist who meets The Babe played by Freida Pinto, develops ALZ-112 serum to cure his father's Alzheimer Disease. The tests on chimps creates Caesar, the hero with the super brain who has Jimmy F as his 'father,' as JF tells him with sign language.

Buckaroo Bonzai: John Lithgow is Dad with Alzheimer...a gentle reprise of Professor Emilio Lazardo, who goes insane because he's possessed by an alien from the 8th Dimension.

Julius Caesar: Not only does John Lithgow quote from Shakespeare's play...which is how the baby chimp gets named Caesar...but you've got the rise of the chimp who got the ALZ-112 effects passed on genetically...a variant of Caesar's claim to being descended from a big shot in Roman history...OK, I forget which one, so sue me! ;p

Charly: Jimmy F injects Dad Lithgow with ALZ-112; which not only arrests Dad's Alzheimer but makes him brilliant!! Down side: the 'cure' aint and Dad gets worse and croaks...at least Charly only went back to being Charly.

Shawshank Redemption: Big ape jail house scene where Bully Chimp beats up Caesar. Caesar gets smarter, frees BIG Gorilla and Gorilla straightens out Bully Chimp. Caesar gives cookies to ALL the apes...becomes Big Boss Chimp.

Silverado: Caesar jimmies his cage lock with a knife he swiped from a stupid human much as Kevin Costner jimmies his cell lock in Silverado by touch.

King Kong: BIG Gorilla saves Caesar...shot by human assassin in helicopter...biplanes would have been cooler, but, hey, it's 2011!

Lion King: Caesar climbs to the top of a giant redwood to look down on his domain on the other side of the Golden Gate Bridge from 'Frisco with a setting sun as backdrop. Only thing missing was a wife and baby chimp.

Jumangi: Some of my boys who saw this one (I didn't) told me in the post-show chit chat that the scene where the chimps run along the tops of the trees down a San Fran boulevard with leaves falling everywhere came from this flick.

Planet of the Apes: Caesar's first word is "NOOOOO!" ...just like Chuck Heston, if memory serves. Also, there's a "get your filthy paw off me" by the one human. My boys tell me the ALZ-112 is a tip of the hat to the 112 minute run time of Planet, too.

Firefly Series/Serenity: The G-23 paxilon hydrochlorate was supposed to make people peaceful. It caused 99.9% to lay down and die and .1% to become maniacally aggressive cannibals who killed the scientists and roam The Verse for mayhem alone. The ALZ-112 is gonna cause the Apes to dominate the humans!

X2: OK, Brian Cox (Col. Stryker in X2) who gave Wolverine his metal skeleton plays the head of the Ape Sanctuary where Caesar passes the gas to smarten up his ape buddies, turning them into mutants, too. The mutants were also caged on Three Mile Island!

Well, that's it for now.
Got popcorn & bananas?

5:9, #626 Neuro-meteorology

First of all, if the National Weather Service tracks winter storms, should the National Teachers Association track brain storms? Or would that fall to the American Neurological Association? Or maybe MENSA?

If something 'hits you like a thunderbolt,' does that mean you're the 'thundernut?'

How can thunder, which is a sound, be a 'bolt' at all?
I learned Saturday that a lightning bolt is usually 2" wide and 20 miles long...just who measured THAT?!! And who measured the weight of the sun and distance it is from earth? Did they buy the scale and tape measure at SEARS?

Oh, and howcome 'meteorology' is the study of clouds? Shouldn't it be the study of meteors and 'cloudology' be the study of clouds, with the guys doing the reporting called cloudologists? Although, with typical Anglo-Saxon abbreviating, I'm sure cloudologists would become cloudists, which sounds enough like clod-ists if you give it the right accent that the oft-wrong cloudologists would then simply be called Clods! OK, I just answered my question about meteors and clouds.

'Weathermen' (or would Weatherpeople be more politically correct?) makes sense...whether right...whether wrong...still weather comes! ;p

Oh, and if we get brain storms, does that account for why so many of us are 'drips' or are 'in a fog?' And since we were prototyped by the Original Dirtball and used parts of said DB (cf. Gen. 2:7, 22) does that account for 'muddying the waters' of conversation when we're 'storming about?' Should the human race's theme song be 'Windy,' the 1967 hit by The Association? [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qlqwpq7xycU] ...or maybe 'We'll Sing in the Sunshine' by Gale Garnett? [http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&feature=endscreen&v=JxZI0Cxaq20] ...or maybe 'Blowin' In the Wind' by Peter, Paul & Mary?

Well, I guess that's the whether or not report for today...forecast is for more time to come... brainstorms predicted on the horizon...just remember my Facebook Friend, the answer is Blowin' In The Wind!!
Got umbrella?

5:8, #625 The Second Noel

OK, I'm listening to The First Noel by Celtic Woman on You Tube...to requote General James Longstreet from 'Gettysburg' ...mmmm, mmm, those girls can SING!! If you're interested, click here: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Bts7ndhPw4]...I've got some new Celtic Christmas songs to which to listen as I write!

Didja ever wonder what happened on The Second Noel?
Well, let's see, Mary and Joseph had fled to Egypt with Baby Jesus after an angel warned them to flee Herod...the Wise Men left due to God's message to them in a dream to leave by an alternate route. (Matthew 2)
They had sufficient finances from the Noel Gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh to get them there and, no doubt, to keep them until Herod croaked; which appears to be 6 or 7 months after the birth of Jesus. This site [http://home.comcast.net/~murrellg/Herod.htm] puts the Birth 'close to June 2 B.C.E. and Herod's death at Jan. 26, 1B.C.E.' OK...so we've got calendar discrepancies...they didn't have a Rolex at the time (pun intended). I wonder if Egypt had pawn shops 'back in the day' so the Couple could hock the stuff?
"Through many dangers, toils, and snares, we have already come...'tis grace will lead us Home..." Yep, those Celtic Women are now singing my favorite hymn on my computer. Guess Old John Newton could have been writing about Joseph, Mary, & Jesus in the first year leading up to the Second Noel in God's Providence...that He's just getting around to having me point out to whoever's reading this!!! Oh, yeah...'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear' would have been the initial warning about Herod the Great...just sayin'...
Well, it's looks as though Jesus spent the Second Noel back in Israel...Nazareth, to be exact, according to Mt. 2:22-23, as a result of another dream God gave Joseph. According to historian, Josephus, Jews of the first century did not celebrate birthdays. [http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/advice/t-180210.html] Apparently, birthday celebrations are connected with all sorts of pagan rituals, B.C. and A.D. days, so there's an especially appropriate twist to Simeon's statement to Mary and Joseph on Circumcision Day from Luke 2:32, where he says Jesus will be, "A light of revelation to the Gentiles, And the glory of Thy people Israel."
So, there it is...we've got the Holy Family back in Nazareth, we don't hear any more about Jesus until He turns 12 (Lk. 2:42), when we also learn He "kept increasing in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men."
I guess learning the carpenter trade from his father would make Jesus a home schooled kid?

5:7, #624 Merry Easter Eve

Oh...My Bad! I meant to say Merry Christmas Eve, not Easter Eve!! But, now that I've mentioned it, howcome we earthlings in certain parts of the planet have Christmas Eve, New Year's Eve, All Hallow's Eve, even Midsummer's Eve in June, but not Easter Eve? Well, Silly...cuz the Baby Jesus of Bethlehem grew up and was dead in the grave at the time...and His followers just didn't feel up to partying!! (I wonder if Mr. & Mrs. Pilate went to a Roman toga party that night?!!) It does seem ironic, however, that THE most important event in world history, The Resurrection, was Sunday morning but Christians don't throw a party Saturday night looking with anticipation to the commemoration of the event...just sayin'...

Well, as I was awaking from my 'long winter's nap'...no, Mah-Mah's in Heaven and doesn't need her kerchief and Pah-Pah's with her, sans cap!!...it dawned on me (of course the pun's intended!!) that American linguistics would be different if the term 'Eve' was more prominent in the way we look at things. I mean, think about it...

John Travolta would have to disco dance when he got 'Sunday Eve Feeve'...

Elton John would have to sing that Sunday Eve's alright for a heave(?)...

Dandy Don Meredith and Howard Cosell would have been on Tuesday Eve Football...is my age showing with those two names?

Clement Moore's rhyme scheme would have been awkward with, "'Twas Christmas Eve and all through the house..."

And, then, there's Adam's Eve...but would that celebrate the Mom of all Moms or Day 5 of creation just prior to God's making the Original Dirtball?

Lastly, while I think of it...why isn't there a Valentine's Eve? Maybe we just don't have the HEART for another party? ;P

5:6, #623 Christmas Carol Conundrums

First of all, why are they called Christmas Carols? Shouldn't they be Christmas Marys, given the main characters of the season? That being said, these thoughts were running around in my head so I thought I'd turn them into free range partridges in pear trees...

Good grief...thank you, Charlie Brown...I was just looking up 'bough' and the Dictionary.com word of the day is 'calvous'...'lacking all or most of the hair on the head.' So, if a whole bunch of bald guys riding horses 'save the day' in an old Ronald Reagan movie, would we say, "The Calvous-ry was coming?" But I digress...
"Bough: a branch of the tree, especially one of the larger or main branches." Does Deck the halls with BOUGHS of holly seem a LITTLE MUCH?!! Maybe, in the spirit of Walt Kelley's Pogo we should sing,
"Build a deck with boughs of holly, put on Country tunes and chill the beer.
It's football season...what a folly, if your team wins, be sure to cheer.
Let's put on our sports apparel, act like jerks and go from here.
Trolls will sing a yule tide carol...GET THE GUN I SEE A DEER!!"

How 'bout...
"We three kings of Orient are, taking the train, we busted our car?
We hit field and fountain, trees...a mou-owww-tain...following yonder star!"

"On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...FIVE BATHTUB RINGS!!"
Four calling cards, three French toasts, two Turtle Bars, and a John Deere under my tree!!"

Guess I'd better wane eloquent...isn't that the opposite of 'to wax eloquent?'...and go open some buildings...
Got distorted lyrics of your own?

5:5, #622 Aaron's Blessing

Hanukkah begins at sundown tonight and I want to wish all my Jewish and Gentile Facebook Friends and SIBS readers (including a couple of atheists I know) this from Numbers 6:24-26, "The LORD bless you, and keep you; The LORD make His face shine on you, And be gracious to you; The LORD lift up His countenance on you, And give you peace"...through His already sent Messiah, Jesus of Nazareth!

OK, so now a bunch of you are ticked off at me, but here's a piece of interesting (at least to me) Hebrew reality that I just learned this morning:
When a chanukiyah [the menorah] is full, nine lights will shine from it, lighting up the December nights. Eight of the lights stand in as a sort of counter, symbolizing which night of Chanukah is being celebrated. There is one extra candle lit first every night of Chanukah. This is the shamash, service candle, or in the old translation: the sexton. [http://www.mazornet.com/holidays/chanukah/menorah-shamash.htm]

Well, there it is. This Sexton wants to light your way as a sexton to the Light of the World.
Got a match?

5:4, #621 Arrogance

I am an expert on arrogance...Heck, just saying that sort of proves my point! Then there's the bit of evidence called "Self Indulgent B.S."with 620 other bits of my brain flying across internet space based on the presupposition that somebody out there needs to hear from me. Why do I tell you this? Well, I think I'm a pastor at heart (a maintenance man in all the other organs) and I want to help you through this life...hmmmm, perhaps a bit of arrogance there, too?!! ;p

Here's my point...When you're shaking your head about the arrogance of politicians of a persuasion opposite yours, maybe you should consider that EVERYBODY who thinks he/she could run a country or part of a country HAS to be arrogant, so why should you be surprised when 'either side of the aisle' (an American usage for Congress/Brit usage, I think, for Houses of Parliament) act as they do?!!

And then there are some of you Conservatives (whatever that exactly is) who think members of the National Teachers Association are arrogant because they feel they've got a lock on what your kids should learn. Well, 1Corinthians 8:1 does say, 'knowledge makes arrogant, love edifies.' (NASB) They do have a pile of education among them, now don't they?!! This doesn't mean you're wrong in your thinking, just that you might get a little less frustrated with the way things work...or maybe motivated to actually make changes in the system.

Who else practices arrogance? How about everybody on talk radio?!! Solution: TURN IT OFF!! I actually had raised blood pressure one time due to the fact that I was listening to talk radio on the way to the doc's, so you might find life a little more pleasant without the yabbering.

Who else? Everybody on Facebook, Google+, Twitter, and all the media of which I am not (blessedly) aware who foist their opinions and 'news' upon you. Solution: Laugh at some, ignore some, or TURN IT OFF!! (Except, of course, when you want to find out up to what I am!!)

Got the ability to conjugate a sentence like Winston Churchill, who hated sentences ending with prepositions? Is that arrogant? ;)

5:3, #620 A Christmas Carol

Here it is, the 168th anniversary of when Charles Dickens published his famous Christmas classic, in which I actually played Scrooge waaaaaaaaaayyyy back in 1981 at a little church production in East Berlin, Pa....no wise cracking about the fact that it 'wasn't much of a stretch' for me! ;P

Oh, justsosyaknows...the article in Wikipedia has it on the 19th, but there's another piece of info in that reasonably reliable medium that's not up to snuff! Oh, would Ebeneezer Scrooge be an 'unreliable medium,' since he was, so to speak, seancing with spirits only once? And just for you intellectually curious, 'up to snuff'...which works rather appropriately as a statement, given the Dickensian Period in which we're operating...initially meant 'sharp and in the know'; more recently, 'up to the required standard'...my current use of the phrase, obviously, since I'm a post-20th century writer. [My source: http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/up-to-snuff.html]

Soooooooo...to celebrate the anniversary, should I watch Alistair Sims' classic from 1951?...AHH, what a glorious year, a great movie is made, the Korean War changes history a bit more, and I shuffle onto this mortal coil. I'd say that's a most likely bet.

Of course, there's Albert Finney's musical version from 1970...Holey Holly, Batman!!...I was only a sophomore in college, assuming the movie came out around December....ooops, thank you IMDb...5 November 1970!! Dontcha just love my write-as-I-research-so-the-research-is-right mode of posting on this blog?!! Hey, I'm Self Indulging much as Old Scrooge did...just a bit more lavishly!! By the way, Jacob Marley is portrayed by Alec Guinness in an Obi Wan Is Dead and Comes Back To Help Luke kinda role...think about it, those of you who are following along!!

Then there's the George C. Scott version that I think I saw once but don't own....and Jim Carrey's version and a couple of other modern remakes that won't be showing up at the Grey Havens anytime in this millennium. And what would I say of those versions? Why, "Bah, Humbug!!" of course!! ;p

We've already watched 'Scrooged' starring Bill Murray as part of our Christmas List Movies, so that one's not on the list; unless, of course, some visitor specifically requests it...

So, what's my point? In the loosest sense of the phrase, Old Scrooge had a conversion experience in which he, to quote damned (as in gone-to-Hell, not just blasphemed) Jacob Marley, "could be saved." I won't belabor this point, since you've already 'heard it before' no doubt. However, have you ever thought that the Ghost of Christmas Future might be as close to you as he recently was to Christopher Hitchins, the famous atheist? Think on't as you go a-wassailing!

Got Humbug?!

5:2, #619 Stupid Names

Last night while diligently engaged in my evening ablutions using the much cheaper Brand X of Head and Shoulders on head and facial hair, it dawned on me to wonder who ever actually washed his shoulders with the stuff...except maybe our Muhlenberg lacrosse goalie aptly nicknamed 'Bear' due to his hirsuteness! So why 'Head AND Shoulders' as a name? Because over the course of the years we've been conditioned to immediately relate to the phrase 'head and shoulders above the crowd;' which has Biblical origins where Saul was chosen (wrongly) to lead Israel because he was good looking and stood head and shoulders above the crowd!

This got me thinking about product names, so here goes:

Tide laundry detergent: What?!! You want your clothes to smell like shrimp and seaweed washed up on shore?!!
Colgate Oxygen Whitening tooth stuff: Why do I need my oxygen white? It's been the same color all these millennia and been breathable to boot.
Sure Deodorant: Yeah, I've ignored the commercials with the arm raising...and you people actually BELIEVE them?!! SURE!! ;P
Optic White tooth paste: I always thought 'optic' had to do with my eyes...aren't my eyeballs white enough? Granted, they've been red on more than one occasion, but Murine or Visine can take care of that.
Q-tips: Not shaped like a 'q'...well, only if the cotton is lumped to one side...not made of a product that begins with 'q'...but if you stop and look at the ...'q'...I guess we could have another one of those qute little faces we put at the end of sentences to show expressions...emoticons; which sounds like some sort of Marvel Super Heroes! ;0P
Chaps Cologne: Oh, SURE (pun intended)...I want to smell like sweaty leather, dirt, the part of the saddle that some stinky cowboy's been squirming around on!! To quote the Sheriff of Nottingham in BBC's 'Robin Hood,' "A clue...NOT!"
How about BRUT? That sickening smelling stuff doesn't smell anything like rugby players after a game...or lacrosse, soccer, football, or hockey players, for that matter.

Since I usually end these tirades on a question...just what is Victoria's Secret?
Clearly the scanty underwear isn't hiding it!! ;p

5:1, #618 Celebrating Anniversaries

Well, here it is, four years to the day...tip of the hat to Frodo...since I began this blog, clearly a Self Indulgent exercise in/by B.S.; which is why I chose the name that I did in order to aptly depict my analysis not only of my own blog but of all those 'out there' that in my humble opinion...if, in fact, I can have one of them...are aptly described as aforementioned! Obviously, as the sidebar of this deal indicates, my interest in foisting my opinions on you has waned over the years, but has not yet been extinguished...probably to the dismay of most of the 546 folks who might receive this through Facebook now that I've learned how to post them. Aren't you folks happy as a clam at a ham and oyster supper that you don't HAVE to read my drivel?!!

OK, enough self indulgent self-deprecation...

Anyway, it's also the 149th anniversary of the Battle of Fredericksburg in which great grandpappy Jacob Antes (some say I look like the bearded fellow) supported artillery south of town with the 119th Pa. Volunteers and got shelled by Stonewall Jackson's artillery; which gave me Post Traumatic Stress while I was, to use the Biblical phrase, 'in his loins,' thus explaining, I feel, some of my eccentricities! ;p

Also, it's the 31st anniversary of the start of my prayer journals; which currently have 203,976 answers in them; which is an adjusted total increased by 200, then decreased by 500, then increased by 1 as I discovered 'mathos' (if typos are typing mistakes, then mathos would be math mistakes, Eh?) while typing Journal #74 into my computer to facilitate research on myself; which I must admit is rather self indulgent in and of itself. Oh, for you folks out there who wonder sometimes about the veracity of Romans 8:28, "God causes all things to work together for the good of those who love God...", this is an example how losing a big chunk of computer held material 'sorted things' as my Brit friends might say.

Oh, Theological Point To Be Made: Notice that 'those who love God' is the qualifier of the first part of the verse. Not all things work to the good of those who don't love God...in fact, they accumulate to an eventual eternal end that sucks a billion billion times worse than anything 'evil' in this life!!

Redneck Evangelism Point To Be Made: If you aint Born Again, you aint in love with God... please repent, get converted, and let me know when it happens so I can rejoice with the angels who witness the Lord's gracious work in your life!! Tankewberrymuch. Oh, and all you Born Agains out there reading this, pray with me for my Salvation Listers to get brought into the Kingdom whilst I'm still shuffling around on this mortal coil! (Thank you Willie Shakespeare)

Last Point To Be Made: Live today like it's your last day...it may be exactly that! Oh, and Happy Anniversary on whatever days are significant to you!!
Got things to be and do?

4:26, #617 Christmas Movie List

In the spirit of that Christmas movie classic, 'Scrooge,' the Walt Kelly cartoon is dedicated. Doom, you ponder? Well, for the Bad Guys, of course!! Just look at the list:
Band of Brothers, 'Bastogne'...the Nazis get the reply 'NUTS!!' after delivering surrender terms.
Lethal Weapon: Martin Riggs et al kick the Bejeebers out of Mr. Joshua and Company!
Die Hard 1 & 2: John McClane makes it right with wife, Holly, AND throws the German Bad Guy out the window while blowing up Nakatomi Industries...then he saves the airport next year!
Auntie Mame: The 'Crazy Aunt' whips all the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune and shelters an unwed Peggy Cass.
Scrooge: Dickens' A Christmas Carol in two versions; Alistair Simms and Albert Finney...the Bad Guy gets converted...YEEHAW!!
Scrooged: Bill Murray's similar change from Bad Guy to Good Guy...Carol Kane as the Ghost of Christmas Present is MY favorite character.
Lion In Winter: Pete O'Toole as Henry Plantagenet and Kate Hepburn as Eleanor of Aquitane verbally whup the daylights out of each other, but all's well that ends well, even though "It's 1183 and we're ALL barbarians!"
1941: Insanity in California with John Belushi and a small town victorious over the 'Japanese Invasion' by one submarine.
White Christmas where Bing Crosby et al roundly spell DOOM for the conditions making their WWII General's ski lodge fail in a restorative DOUBLE Chick Flick: Bing/Rosemary Clooney (yes, George's MOM) and Danny Kaye/Vera Ellen.
Christmas Story: RALPHY GETS HIS BB GUN AND DEFEATS THE BAD GUYS!!

And, for this list...clearly not exhaustive...last and certainly not least
Jesus of Nazareth, part 1...the birth of the One who SPELLS 'DOOM' WHICH REALLY DEFEATS ALL THE BAD GUYS FOR EVER AND EVER, AMEN!!!!

4:25, #616 Food For Thought

Last night we of the Havens were watching some of the first season of The Muppet Show. Needless to say, they are an inspiration to me in most of their thinking patterns. One of Rowlf's songs is "I Never Harmed an Onion" that, to me, points out that non-meat-eaters are just as cruel as us vegetarian carnivores they accuse of harming Bambi, Thumper, Daffy, Bugs, Miss Piggy, and when it comes to The FRENCH...even Kermit the Frog!!

The You Tube 1:45 is a good one. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JE1mG9SdFUw] My warning to those of you who hate puns...DO NOT click on this video or your skin will crawl.

By the way, that red bowl pictures the cucumbers, jalapenos, snap peas, green and yellow beans I unceremoniously RIPPED from their clinging ways early one morning this summer so that they could later become one with me...in a post-Reformational, Van Tillian, Zen sorta way, of course!!
Got salad dressing?...make sure the door is closed! ;p

4:24, #615 Zelophehad's Girls

This morning I was reading part of the Book of Numbers waiting for The Cook to get the bacon and eggs going and came across the five daughters of Zelophehad ('first born' if you believe sources). The whole deal was that he had no sons, so his daughters petitioned Moses to give them their landed inheritance and the Lord said, "Okey Dokey"...not sure what the original Hebrew was for that.

Hoglah was the name that stuck out. I thought, poor girl she would be called Miss Piggy for sure if she was given that name in an English speaking context. Turns out, it means 'partridge' so I guess Pops wasn't being mean after all. This search of course led Captain Google to check out the other four names in the list: Mahlah, Noa, Milcah, and Tirzah. Now, usually the Bible lists names in the order of birth, so Partridge was right smack dab in the middle of the girls...no doubt exhibiting all those 'middle child' traits modern psychologists attribute to that state of being.

In any event, we've got Mahlah ('sickness' or 'disease'), Noa ('movement'), Milcah ('queen'), and Tirzah ('delight'/'pleasure'/beauty). I can just see old Zelophehad and Mrs. Z sitting around the fire after the births coming up with these monikers! "Well, Dear, what shall we name this sickly looking thing that seems diseased after 30 hours of labor?" "Mahlah, Honeypie, what else?" Then after the next excursion into Genesis 3 pain..."Lookit this delightful little bundle squirming around all over the place...we've got to name her Noa!" Then along came Partridge, a.k.a. Hoglah. "Well, Honey, what name this time?" "Dunno, Sweets...look over there...a partridge in a pear tree!!! Let's name her Noa!!"

Further down the connubial road, Milcah gets her name...Queen. I can just see a miniature version of Suzanne Sugarbaker arriving on the scene of the Zelophehad Ranch!! (Yes, I've been watching reruns of 'Designing Women' lately.) Oh, if you're unfamiliar with the 1986-93 show, just go to You Tube and type in the name. I'm guessing this girl grew up a bit on the spoiled side as her older sisters were supposed to take care of her when she was sick (Mahlah), take her for walks when she squawked (Noa), and fed her chicken and dumplings when hungry (Hoglah).

Later on, Tirzah came along and Mom and Dad named her based on her being THE BABY... someone who was cute as a button (were kids that cute before the invention of buttons?)...and, no doubt, the favorite...like ALL of us Babies Of The Family ARE!!

So, there you have only the 24th published cogitation of my fourth year of blogging...304, then 190, then 97, now only 24 with 3 days to go before Year Five of Self Indulgent B.S....and then we'll be into 2012, the Chinese Year of the Dragon, and the Jewish Year 5772...for what it's worth; which was a GREAT song by Buffalo Springfield in 1967.

Oh, our Hannah Montana balloon photo just seems appropriate for this post for some reason...I guess all that's left to say is...
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4:23, #614 To Fart or Not To Fart...

that is the question, whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune cookie eating or to take arms against a seafood of troubles and by opposing expel them!! (Apologies to young, suicidal Hamlet and Willie Shakespeare)

In case you haven't noticed, men and women consider the expulsion of personal methane stores in different ways; which I contend is one of the reasons men are generally more easy going than their non-flatulent counterparts! Why do I pass this Self Indulgent B. S. along to you? Well the other day I gave a Bobonic (no, not bubonic) Birthday Blessing: "May you age like fine wine! Just be careful how you cut the cheese!" She 'liked' it and this morning around 4:30am I got to thinking about the various ways we express how we 'express' ourselves...or not...

Just exactly how does 'to cut the cheese' equal 'to flatulate?' The only semi-scientific connection I can make here is that the smell of some cheeses is roughly akin to a sulfur dioxide explosion that is the result of last night's beer and raw oyster, perhaps wine and cheese tasting, dinner. Come to think of it, over the years I've noticed that a smelly bathroom recently unoccupied usually has the aroma of what the former occupant had for a previous meal. Being able to identify said aromas/foodstuffs is not exactly akin to the nasality of wine tasting, but it just comes as a side benefit of working in the plumbing/maintenance trades, I guess.

Now, 'to pass gas' is MUCH more accurate, given that expulsing methane is the actual act under contemplation. Oh, and yes, it DOES burn when guys like my Muhlenberg dorm mates next door tested the science of it as an ad hoc Natural Science majors' field test!! ;p FYI...their triple was known as The Cave to many of us living on the same dorm floor freshman year in 1969.

Now, since I've turned 60, I'm officially not only Older Than Dirt as my new coffee mug avers, but I am also an Old Fart. I don't ever remember being a Young Fart...that phrase makes me think of a Jungian Fart; which, given the absurdity of that particularly psychology, is a good analogy. Oh, and I think Freud misspelled his name...should have been Fraud...but that's just this Old Fart's opinion. I wonder if Pope Whoever pontificated officially on this topic it would still be called a Papal Bull? Somebody didn't think through the naming of that particular action.

Well, I'm getting 'windy' in this post...pun obvious...so I'll pass on to the next bit of today's wonderment, leaving you with this...
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