3:8, #502: Ex Post Facto Bucket List and Corrections

Lookit this...here it is the end of the year and I've already messed up since December 13th...the REAL beginning of my Posting Year!! I was getting ready to post some stuff in my life that would make a good Ex Post Facto Bucket List since they're already done and I wondered when Year 3 began...Duh...7 posts ago on the 13th of December!! Well, now that that brain fart has passed...

My Bucket List...things I want to do before I kick the bucket...is really open ended these days. I'm pretty much content to take what's coming my way and not make plans...that's one way not to be disappointed. Of course, the Foreward Lookers Society types would say 'if you don't aim at anything, you're bound to hit it, but phooey on them! That being said, here are some of the things I've done in life already:
1. Sung the bass line of some Christian hymns in the lobby of the King David Hotel in Jerusalem.
2. Street preached in Amsterdam.
3. Collected baseball cards, told my Mom to throw them away. Collected more...gave them to a friend's grandson.
4. Collected autographs of 800+ athletes and learned without documentation they're worthless except for the fun of collecting them.
5. Gotten 24 stitches in me over the years from self inflicted stupidity or clumsiness.
6. Gotten stung 24 times with resultant nerve damage.
7. Read through the Bible 21 times so far, with comprehension for the most part...Revelation's still sketchy other than that Jesus Wins!!
8. Watched at least 1,224 different movies, some as many as 28 or 33 times and counting.
9. Wrote God Caused the Civil War and had 71 publishers reject it.
10. Gave folks some different perspectives and made them think and/or laugh with Self Indulgent B.S. and my Facebook Postings.
Got life history?

Guess I'll make some numbering changes in my posts...

2:197, #501: More Twelve Days Stuff [3:7]

I've been asking questions about the Twelve Days of Christmas on my Facebook slot as they occur and thought about writing more down here, so here goes...Oh, if you're interested in the religious significance of the Twelve Days, I addressed it in Post #292 "Twelve Days of Christmas" from November 29, 2008. Anyway, here's the 'low road' of humor to which I referred...Oh, Segue #2... the 'low road/high road' of the song, 'Loch Lomond' which happens to be playing on my computer right now is addressed in Post 2:176, #480, "Scottish Sexton" from October 9, 2009.
NOW that my A.D.D. moments have subsided...
Didja ever figure out what the lucky guy had at the end of the Twelve Days? Twelve pear trees... hopefully balled and burlapped so he could start his own fruit farm. Twelve partridges (would that be a Partridge Family?), 22 turtle doves, 30 French hens, 36 calling birds (did they use cell phones? Have a family plan? All talk at the same time?), 42 geese and 42 swans...do you know how NOISY THAT would be?!! I'm wondering if this guy had a lot of acreage out in the boondocks with at least one lake so his made-to-order poultry farm could thrive?!
And just what did he do with the 40 milkmaids (not to mention the 40 cows or goats that went with them so they were 'a-milking'), 36 dancing ladies, 30 leaping lords (were they leaping over the cow patties, duck squats and goose poop?), 22 pipers, and 12 drummers? One hundred and forty people now on his payroll needed food, clothing, shelter, and a viable IRA plan, didn't they? I'm guessing the pipers and drummers organized into some Highland Band and had the dancing ladies and leaping lords as part of the entourage, went on tour, and helped finance the Lucky Guy Commune with proceeds from their gigs.
Now, the Five Golden Rings...were they knock-offs from Sauron's One Ring that was designed to 'rule them all and in the darkness bind them?' Just how much were the 40 total worth?
Did Lucky Guy hock them to pay for building materials and or real estate to deal with this generous gift from his true love? Oh, and was it Lucky Guy or Lucky Gal who got the stuff?
One thing, at least, the milk and eggs gotten from a 40-cow herd and 112 laying fowls...assuming the hens, geese, and swans were all female...would have been a start on food supplies for The Community Players. Hmmm, where'd they get the feed for all the different animals? Can you eat partridge, turtle dove, and calling bird eggs? Just exactly what ARE calling birds? Googling 'calling birds' indicated it was originally 'colly birds'...colly meaning coal, which made them blackbirds!! OK, so, would 36 blackbirds get 'baked in a pie' as another tale tells, or would Lucky Guy/Gal be smart enough to cage them up and breed them for future pie making cottage industry? Hey, maybe they could be sent out to gather 'meat' the way the ravens did for Elijah?
Well, I think it's time to wrap this up...we both have other things to do.
Got Twelve Days of Christmas tune in your head?

2:196, #500: Twas The Day After Christmas [3:6]

'Twas the day after Christmas and needless to say,
The Little Lord Jesus still slept on the hay.
Mary and Joe had packed up their ass
To flee into Egypt economy class.

The Magi had left by the 'back door' we're told,
Leaving their gifts...myrrh, frankincense, and gold.
Herrod was pissed 'cause he'd heard all the 'noise,'
He then ordered death for Bethlehem's boys.

'Rachel' was weeping, consoled not was she...
Jeremiah was right with his sad prophecy.
But God's plan moved on like a well scheduled bus,
So Jesus could die years later for us!

Got the message?

2:195, #499: Twas The Day Afore Xmas! [3:5]

'Tis the day before Christmas...I don't have to work. I'm writing on Facebook...so call it a quirk. The stockings are hung by the tv with care, perhaps I'll get products that restore all my hair? The Cook's in the kitchen baking all day. He's already admonished, 'STAY OUTTA MY WAY!' So here I sit in old Machen Hall...may your life be a dandy...Merry Christmas, Y'ALL!! ;p

2:194, #498: Redneck Stuff [3:4]

Jeff Foxworthy has made a career dealing with 'Redneck' stuff. I work outside 12 months a year, so I have a redneck literally under my flannel shirt collar and especially my Rush Limbaugh no neck tee shirt. My contention is that Jesus Himself was at least a theological Redneck (if He really had that long hair the sun would not have gotten to His neck) in that he made black and white, line drawn on the rock on which you should build your house kinda statements like, John 14:6, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but through Me."
In any event, I've been smoking, plowing, and country western/rock and rolling since Saturday, so I've been thinking, too.
If Grandma got run over by a reindeer, would her followers have stolen the body in order to propagate the myth that she's really alright? Would her blue wig attain a status similar to the Shroud of Turin?
Any of you think Jesus was not only a carpenter but also a plumber? Well, here's my proof: Psalm 139 says we are fearfully and wonderfully made. John 1 says Jesus was involved in making everything. Didja ever notice how the blood stream and excretory systems are basically plumbing lines? I rest my case!!
For all you Reformed Theological wizards: If the Abominable Snowman had a verifiable conversion experience that conformed to the Westminster Standards, and given the already-not-yet Kingdom teaching of said Reformers, would he be The Already Not Yeti?!!
Got flannel shirt, cigars, country western music, and joy in the Lord?

2:193, #497: Walkin' On Water & Flair [3:3]

Yessirree, Bob, that's what I was doin' this morning as the snow storm began in our area right around 6:05am. I expect to be walkin' on deeper water as the day progresses, then driving on it in the GMC with snow plow later in the day or maybe even tomorrow, depending on the mood I'm in at any given point.

Right now I've got my "Feng Shui" CD playing, so I'm so mellow I can hardly keep awake! I just did some Facebooking for the last hour...it's amazing that the Live Feed builds up to over 300 if you don't check in for a day...and saw some interesting Flair Pieces.

My favorite right now is, "Growing Old Is Mandatory...Growing Up Is Not!" Can I get a big, "AMEN!" on that?
Then there's "Boys are stupid...throw rocks at them!" The problem with that is, as I've pointed out to my Chinese granddaughters is that the boys will probably think the girls are flirting with them!! And, actually, I'm not sure they'd be too far off!

One of my Bobisms has actually made it to Flair Pieces: "Warning: The light at the end of the tunnel is an onrushing freight train!" Actually, I just checked...I've never officially registered "The Light at the end of the tunnel is attached to a fast moving freight train" as a Bobism...guess I'd better go do that next!
Got snow plow?

2:192, #496: Biblical Numerology [3:2]

OK, OK...don't get beside yourself with the near-occult title. God's in the business of using oddities to get His jobs done...look in the mirror, for instance...so I wondered this morning, since it's 12/15/09, what the 12:15 verses of the Gospels were. Oh, for those of you who are not familiar with my spiritual beginnings, I wondered back in 1980 after conversion, if John 3:16 was 'the greatest verse in the Bible,' what the other 3:16s were like. It turns out there's a crash course in systematic theology contained in them; which I apparently have not mentioned in these indulgences...ooo, can I say that without a lightning bolt from God prompted by Martin Luther coming at me?!!;P...
In any event, John 12:15 says, "Fear not, daughter of Zion; behold, your King is coming, seated on a donkey's colt." Now THAT should have been a bill board outside Bethlehem while Joe and Mary were taking their journey thanks to the census taker's mandates! Of course, most folks would have looked at it, considered the regularity with which donkey's were used, and passed it off as someone with more shekels to spend than sense to know how to spend them.
FYI, back in Indulgence 2:17, #321: "Easy As 1:23" I mentioned the 3:16s to introduce what the 1:23 verses of the New Testament tell us. Interesting stuff, if I do say so myself...and of course you know that I WILL! :P
Got donkey fazoo?

2:191, #495: Two Years To The Day [3:1]

Ah, yes, it was on this very day back in '07 that I began this blog. Four hundred ninety-five postings in 731 days...leap year added one, remember?!! So what's cookin'?
Well I've got boiled lamb on one Facebook burner where a sister has been obsessing about the 'evil Popish observance of Christ-mass' during this particular season...would that be 'seasoned boiled ewe?' Scripture doesn't mandate celebrating Jesus coming to earth and we do it now only because Constantine set it in stone, so to speak, and it just gets her goat (is that possible with a sheep?) that churches all over the land don't see the truth of this matter...guess the Spirit will have to set us straight since apparently aint!!
I'm wondering why we don't have mustard greens for Christmas dinner, giving the big deal green and red have during this 'silly season,' to quote a line from "Lethal Weapon."
Of course, I've got blocks of cheese sitting in the fridge to elevate my bad cholesterol count when I go see Doc Dracula for blood work in January. Of course, I'll simply pop a few more fish pills... hmmm, that might be a sobriquet for annoying Christians...to keep my internal Feng Shui in balance to the Doc's satisfaction.
I wonder if dessert in heaven will be 'pie in the sky?'

2:190, #494: Zen and the Art of Seminary Maintenance

Yeah, I've finally gotten around to reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry Into Values. I'm currently 11 chapters of 32 done and realized that the story line of a motorcycle trip was simply a literary excuse to discuss philosophy and pander to the 60s left over self indulgent b.s. prevalent from the Garden of Eden to today. In other words, it's a book written by Robert M. Pirsig (whose name, interestingly to me, jumbles into Sir Pig) who appears to be someone who 'thinks himself wise yet has become a fool' of whom Paul speaks in Romans 1:18ff.
I'm frankly amazed that back in my college days it was not required reading in either my Philosophy 101 class or in my History of Political Thought class my senior year, given the bent of the two professors who taught me in those days.
The last comment I wrote...I'm an inveterate note writer into the margins of books...was that he seems to be 'catching a glimpse of total total depravity without God intruding into our being with Truth and Light' when he talks of Kant's 18th century ugliness and how it and 'technical' ugliness pervade everything in his university environment that has to do with the philosophy being taught.
Like, DUH!! He's catching up with Paul's analysis 19 centuries late!!
Ok, so how's this relate to seminary maintenance? Well...like...DUH...I just changed one word in the title in order to draw the comparison to the book. But when it comes to values, maintaining a seminary, regardless of how a philosopher would look at the way it should be done, comes down to this simple sentence in Colossians 3:23-24, "Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men; knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve." Oh, and keep in mind the question of Zechariah 4:10, "For who has despised the day of small things?" The details of maintenance are crucial to the 'big picture' that ends up looking good if details are watched carefully to add up to a smoothly running campus.
Well, if you're wondering just what in the name of my great aunt Lizzie's hairbun I'm talking about, remember that this blog is Self Indulgent B.S. written by B.S. hisownself!! ;p
Got convoluted thinking?

2:189, #493: December 7 Stuff

Today was a big day down through history, according to my notes in my copy of One Year Book of Christian History, so here goes:

Obvious to all Americans is that the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor took place today. Interestingly enough, they broke the Sabbath, did NOT destroy the flattops, the oil fields, and keep the U.S. OUT of the war...so chalk them up in the 'loss' column; especially given they're the only nation who have actually had nukes used on them...twice!! (Let's hear it for Missouri Democrat Harry S. Truman!!)

Back on Dec. 7, 518 B.C. God told Israel through Zechariah that He kicked their butts for 70 years because of their disobedience..the Bad News. The Good News was that He was going to restore things in Jerusalem and 'they will be my people, and I will be faithful and just toward them as their God.' (cf Zechariah 7:5-8:8 according to OYBOCH) Providentially enough in the coincidence of God, in 1988 A.D. on December 7, Yassar Arafat recognized the existence of Israel! Mighty nice of him, I'd say!! ;P

In between those two years on December 7...in 374A.D. Ambrose was consecrated Bishop of Rome, in 1785 William Wilberforce was converted through John 'Amazing Grace' Newton and became the driving force to have the slave trade abolished in Britain, and in 1973 the Presbyterian Church in America organized Mission To The World, its overseas outreach.

OH, and in 1965 the Roman Catholic and Greek Orthodox Churches formally kissed and made up after excommunicating each other 900 years earlier...now THAT's how to hold a grudge for a good long while!! Frankly, I don't think they still see eye to eye on a lot of stuff, but that shouldn't surprise anyone reading this, I guess.

Well, there's more to do today than this, so as Mitsuo Fuchida might have sung as he led the bombing raid on The Pearl...Off I go into the wild blue yonder!!
Got parachutes?

2:188, #492: December First Firsts

Three anniversaries came to my attention for today's date, all with fair significance in my onward journey shuffling around on this mortal coil.
Back in 1969...40 years to the day, as Frodo would say...the USofA instituted the draft for the first time since WWII..."The Big One" as Willis Gillis used to say on the Dobie Gillis Show. Just for the record, my Philadelphia draft board number was 362 and I was 1-H college deferred; which is probably a good thing, given my inherently bad sense of direction. I'd probably still be wandering around Southeast Asia if I'd gotten separated from my squad! ;p
Back in 1982 I started reading through the Bible once a year using the Navigators' 'Daily Walk' booklet that takes you through about 9 chapters a day. I did that until I bragged about reading through the Bible once a year when being interviewed to be a ruling elder; which made me think, what good is it if you read it once a year and nothing sinks in?!! So now it takes about 18-22 months to get through at my own pace with comprehension and notes. However, 1Chronicles 1-9 is a blast-through skip over for lack of interest...my seminary prof and friend, Ray Dillard, used to call it 'Scriptural Sominex'...'nuff said.
Lastly, this date in 2006 instituted the first candle light dinner at the Grey Havens just as the meal was set on the table due to some storm activity the Lord provided! My first adopted Chinese American granddaughter joined us simply because she was inquiring weather the power was off all over campus...a bit of a blonde moment for her. This was the start of dinners at The Havens that have continued to include quite an interesting group these last three years. Gee, a storm got John Newton's and Martin Luther's attention and here it was one that started us down the particular path we're treading!
Got perogis and gravy?