#78: Time Bandit Warning

Folks,
March 9 is approaching quickly.
Daylight Savings Time begins that weekend due to the unbelievable brilliance of American Legislators.
Yippee.
Hope you got extra sleep last night since we got an extra day this year.
Oh, Yeah...if this is Leap Year, should next year be 2010, figgering we Leap right over 2009?
Oh, yeah, too, in the "Why, Daddy?" category, part 2:
Why does the smoke coming off the tip of a cigar smell bad but the smoke blown from your mouth smells good?
Why did Al Gore invent the Internet?
Why does the phrase Gates of Hell come to mind when my Microsoft Word program freezes up?
Got 'hit any key?'

#77: Life's Ponderables

Today I was standing in my favorite sheltered spot out of the wind that was making this obviously global warming day feel like 2 degrees above zero, enjoying another Boca Java and a Finke's natural, pondering the deeper things in life and managed a few "Why, Daddy?" questions to which I don't necessarily have the answers.

Why do the hairs of your mustache above your lip pull out occasionally and not those of the Manchu part?

Why does an eyelash feel like its the size of a spear when it gets in your eye?

Why does lint collect in your navel?

Why do we have 'innies' and 'outies' instead of one standard model?

Why doesn't someone invent flavored shoes for those of us who stick our feet in our mouths?

Why does hair stop growing on your head but start in your ears?

Why isn't plaid one of the colors of the spectrum?

Why is it that hydrogen and stupidity are the two most numerous elements in the universe?

Why don't we have great music playing in the backgrounds of our lives like occurs in movies?

Why do some folks say "y'all," others say "you all," others say "you'uns," and still others say "youse" here in the USofA?

Why do family members listen to strangers who say the same things you do, but not to you?

Got queries?

#76: Babylonian/Stonehenge English

Many, many years ago, an issue of Weekly Reader changed my entire life for the rest of my days until I finally burn out my brain entirely. And, NO, I haven't exaggerated anything in the history of the planet! (Tip of the hat to Oscar Leroy of "Corner Gas".) The word presented in one article of WR was "ghoti"...pronounced "fish" because the 'gh' was from 'tough', the 'o' was from 'women', and the 'ti' was from 'nation'. OK...so I've been thinking about stuff like that off and on for forty years or so.
Today's linguistic traipse through the daisy fields goes something like this:
Say 'tough', 'rough', 'slough' (as in serpent's skin), & 'enough' (appropriate last choice?).
Now say, 'bough', 'cough', 'dough', 'through' & 'slough' once again. Why 'bowwww', 'dohhh', 'throoo', and 'slooo'? Shouldn't they be 'buff', 'duff', 'thruff', & 'sluff'?! And what's with 'cough' (cawf, not cuff)?
Now, add a 't' to the crumpet...'brought', 'drought', 'fought', 'ought', 'sought', 'thought', & 'wrought'. Should (pronounced 'shud', not 'shoould'!) the sentence made from these words sound like this? "I bruft water during the druft and fuft my thirst as I uft to do when I suft what I thuft was following what God had wruft."
Och, Laddies and Ladies, it muusta been when tha Lourrrd cum down at Babel and saide "Let Us confuse them" tha Ainglish wus started. A course, some Sassenach Druid Ainglish Ticher mighta been hit oon his head wi' a tumblin' rock from Stonehenge, too, wha' made it worse yit as it goot passed on t'us!
Got straight jacket?
Ps. And whize it culled a strrrraaaight jacket when it wraipes yer airms arouuuun' ya?!!

#75: Celtic Cello Celebration

Och, Laddies and Ladies...see how jist won wee change ov a litter gives yee pause ta thinka what Ah'm sayin'?!! Ah'm feelin' me Highland rouuutes this mernin', so Ah'm a writin' yee thisa waaay. Ah've iven got muh Scottish Moors cd a-playin' so's Ah kin be inna write mood. An' yis, Ah'vve goot me blue tam on muh head as wailll...an' those of yee whoove sceene me init thought Ah've beeeen wearin' a French beret...OCH, aire ye DAFT?!!
Soooo, tell me...
Didja reid the caption uv this post as "Keltic Chello Selebration?" Er didja think a wee bit ootsaida tha box an' say, Cheltic Chello Chelebration...or Keltic Kello Kelebration...or Seltic Sello Selebration?!! Whyizzit, Ah ask meself, if yee cum fra Phillee ye hav' Celtic (sa' Keltic) rouuutes, but if ye cum fra Boston yer basketball team is tha Celtics (Sell-ticks)?!! An' wha's witha "cello" (chello)?!! Did Willum Wallace hit sumun ona head whilst 'ee was playin' the fiddle atween 'is laigs an' turned 'im inta a Crazy Celt 'oo was playin' the CHELLOOOO whilst hoouldin' 'is bleedin' 'ead?!
It's stoof lak this tha' makes muh brain go all craizee wi' thinkin' aboooot how laddies and lassies aroooun' tha worl' struggle ta make sensa tha Schriptuoores fer peoples wi' diffrunt toongues and makes me wanna pray tha Looourd gives 'em a learnin' mind and facile toongue so tha' they kin tell tha Gooood Neuuuws ta ev'ry nashuyn, traibe, 'an toongue, the waay Revelashun 5:9 says'll happin' sumday.
Gotta "Aiman" fer me?

#74: Optimism 101

There I was sitting on my favorite park bench today at the end of lunch enjoying some Boca Java and a Holtz maduro. A sympatico soul who enjoys his anonymity sat down and simply said, "Well, Bob, after every Philadelphia "blizzard" (what the 4" snow of Friday was called by one source I mentioned to him earlier) there's a Spring!" Now THERE'S an attitude that indicates 'the glass is half full' if ever I saw one!

Got "AMEN"?

#73: Brain Fried Snow Jockey

Got up at 4am this morning in answer to my biological alarm clock that was set when I heard we were supposed to get 3-6" of snow in this supposedly ever-warming part of the planet. Well, when I made a swipe on top of my car, the snow was exactly one hand's-breadth deep...that would be 4" to you cubit-challenged lot of folks. Oh, if you're 5'10" tall, a cubit REALLY is 18" from middle finger tip to elbow...a fact I'm sure y'all are just absolutely BLESSED to know!
Anyway, 5:30am was the official plow jockey startup and it was a lovely bit of motoring on campus to make things manageable. I also managed NOT to run into anything this time around for a pleasant change, even though I missed one light pole by a not so thick hair's breadth.
Oh, yeah, and since snow is water, I managed to live up to being made in the image of God by walking on it!
Got redneck miracle?

#72: Random Redneck Thoughts

Ok, I forgot some things yesterday...so sue me.

You Know You're a Redneck If...

You think the mole runs in the lawn are God's form of aerating the soil.

The back of your neck REALLY gets red from the job you do! (Duh, hence the term!)

Stinging yellow jackets come straight from the pit of HELL, not holes in the ground!

You appreciate The Good Ole Boy System when it works for you.

You smell like a diesel fuel spill when you go home for supper.

You smell like chain saw oil when you go home for supper.

Flannel plaid is your favorite color.

You have carved Civil War figurines on your computer.

You offer to install a catapult to launch folks to various buildings.

Got full size cannon lawn ornament?

#71: Redneck Hee Haws

OKAY, a friend sent me one of those goes-around emails with Redneck qualities. I decided to include my favorite ones and to add a few of my own...

You Know You’re a Redneck If…

You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
You burn your yard rather than mow it.
You think “The Nutcracker” is a vice on the work bench.
The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
You offer someone the shirt off your back and they refuse it.
You come back from the dump with more than you took.
Your grandmother has “ammo” on her Christmas list.
You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
You’ve been in a custody fight over a dog.
You have a rag for a gas cap.
Your house doesn’t have curtains, but your truck does.
You can spit without opening your mouth.
You consider your license plate personalized because a cousin made it.
Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
You’ve used a toilet brush to scratch your back. [Actually, a good idea!]
You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.

Now, mine:
You have a blog site that draws W.A.S.P.s.
You have a mobile in your office with a miniature John Deere tractor and a brass hose fitting as part of it. (Can you spot it in #70's pic?!!)
A family heirloom is a hand grenade casing.
You think Jesus was a plumber as well as a carpenter.
Got others?

#70: Handy Dandy Digital

Look out, folks. Now I've got what my Elf son considers a REALLY low-tech digital camera from one of those select-a-gift-deals, so I thought I'd give you all a View Of The Basement, since some will never make it to my end of the planet.
We'll just call this one "Looking In" from the doorway. No prizes will be given, but you can see how many odd items you can identify just as a "yeah, I did it" goal. The sign with the glare reads, "Caution, this area protected by fire breathing dragons" in case you're even mildly interested.
Oh, one item you can't see is a sign that says, "A cluttered desk is a sign of genius."
Can you spot the empty hand grenade casing?!
Got a family heirloom, Eh?!!

#69: Flashback to the Present

Well, I graduated high school in 1969, so it's appropriate that Post #69 should have to do with things from the past. I was just pulling into the gas station a bit ago and actually heard a young Obama supporter say, "If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem." Either the phrase has returned from it's overuse in the 60's or it never left the political scene and I've just mastered ignoring it for all these decades. Either way, I'm glad to see that those who want to grunt and groan to get things their own way in this fallen planet are trying to overcome the basic analysis of mankind I have at the top of my blog: When All Is Said And Done, More Is Said Than Done.
Of course, while the young interviewee was being interviewed, I guess more was getting said than done, so apparently I was right on this one, too.
Then there was another Type-A saying going around back in the supposedly good old days: "Lead, Follow, or Get Out of the Way!" Lead where? Follow whom? Obi Wan Kenobi was pretty smart when he asked, "Who is the bigger fool...the fool or the fool who follows the fool?" I guess since I've already occupied a few minutes of your life with this self indulgent post, I'll just get out of the way.
Got better things to do?

#68: Metaphysical Heartburn

Well, I told you I'd Google "warm the cockles of my heart." I'm convinced that ignorance can be bliss and that, as Ecclesiastes writes, "with much wisdom comes much pain." This time I got shifted to a World Wide Words site [http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-coc2.htm] that told me in five paragraphs about heart valve shape, mollusks, and MEDIEVAL Latin...three of my favorite subjects, as I'm sure they are yours. Since I've already cited the source, you can go look it up and be enlightened.
I'm thinking of eating some kimchee, wasabi peas, and washing them down with a Sam Adams (or maybe a Yuengling of Pennsylvania) so I can enflame the lining of my stomach and other places while warming the cockles of my heart...like watching a Chick Flick that gives me some metaphysical heartburn.
Got Google Fever?

#67: Condimental Congress

Auntie Mame says to her nephew Patrick at one point in the movie named for her, "Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!" Well, this day in history it would appear that the first mustard in America was advertised in Philadelphia in 1768.
Since I was born in Philly, making me a native American, if not a Native American, the cockles of my heart (which I'm gonna have to Google to find out just exactly what they are) are warmed with memories of the soft pretzel shop around the corner from my house that was owned by the father of a buddy of mine. (Handy, Eh?) The glory of THOSE soft pretzels is that we got to pick which ones we wanted because we were part of the Good Ole Boy system of the neighborhood, so mine were always nearly burnt, with that great yellow mustard on them, and always salty! (I think I might be Mrs. Lot reincarnated, but I haven't done enough research on the subject to verify my suspicions.) Anyway...the really good thing about the soft pretzels we got was that they were sold from an enclosed counter, not some guy's armpit as has been the case on the corners of Philly for subsequent generations.
Now...on February 11, 1768, Samuel Adams (famous for his patriotism and more recently having a beer named after him) circulated a petition opposing the Townsend Act, one of the preliminaries to the American Revolution. NOT coincidentally, in the Providence of God, on February 20, 1768, the first American fire insurance company was chartered in Pennsylvania.
I wonder if guys were sitting around with Sam Adams, eating mustard covered soft pretzels, and drinking Sam's home brew when they came up with THAT idea, anticipating the firestorm they would start in another eight years?
Given the Founding Fathers' propensity for eating, especially when they were sitting through all the discussions of the Continental Congresses, should history have recorded the name of the meetings as the First and Second Condimental Congresses?
Got Revolution?

#66: Kissy Face Gone Haywire

I was busy with lousy weather all day yesterday, so I socked down in the basement late in the afternoon and checked out Today In History for a few days, including Kissy Face Day today. I found out some interesting things then and just now.
Valentine's Day was originally designed to celebrate the martyrdom of Valentine of Terni in 197AD under Aurelian and Valentine of Rome in 269AD. The romantic side of the whole deal did not come around until Chaucer wrote his Parlement of Foules in 1382. (This info was culled from a Wikipedia article, so take it for what it's worth.) Now with that in mind, check out these February 14th events down through history:
1349 2,000 Jews burned at the stake in Strasbourg France
1540 Emperor Charles V enters Ghent without resistance, executes rebels
1556 Archbishop Thomas Cranmer declared a heretic [Guess he forgot to send Bloody Mary a valentine?]
1670 Roman Catholic emperor Leopold I chases Jews out of Vienna
1894 Venus is both a morning star & evening star [Did card sales double that year?]
1919 United Parcel Service forms [think of all those V-Day packages they've delivered in 89 years!]
1929 St Valentine's Day Massacre in Chicago IL, 7 gangsters killed
1940 British merchant vessel fleet is armed [probably with guns, not chocolates]
1941 German Africa Corps lands in Tripoli, Libya [looking for the perfect Valentine's Day gift for der Fraulines?!!]
1943 Soviets recapture Rostov [did they send hearts and flowers to Babushkas?!]
1944 Anti-Japanese revolt on Java [Hey, the day is for chocolate, not 'java', i.e., coffee!]
1945 8th Air Force bombs Dresden [Geez, unrequited love or what?!]
1950 USSR & China sign peace treaty [FINALLY, All We Need Is Love!]
1975 Bomb explodes at annex of Amsterdam metro station
1976 US performs nuclear test at Nevada Test Site [can you get a heart-shaped mushroom cloud?]
1989 Iran's Ayatollah Khomeini offers $1-$3 million bounty on Salman Rushdie's death due to his novel, "Satanic Verses"
Ya know, now that I think about it this martyrdom/violence/romance expression down through history has a precedent...Judas betrayed Jesus to his death 'with a kiss'...
Got coincidence?

#65: Global Warming, Yeah Right!!

I occasionally check out one of those Today In History websites. Today I was catching up on this week and came across an interesting pattern for anyone claiming our planet is sweating itself to death!
These three entries are from February 10 in the stated years:
1899 -39ºF (-39ºC), Milligan OH (state lowest temperature record)
1933 -54ºF (-48ºC), Seneca OR (state record)
1985 -61ºF (-52ºC), Maybell CO (state record)
Today, here at MOI ISLAND (tip of a hat to the crazy Irishman in "Braveheart"!!), its a balmy 21 degrees with a 'real feel' of 11 degrees AND I was outside for an hour cleaning snow off the sidewalks at various places.
Got SPF 30 & Chapstick?

#64: Happy Birthday, Honest Abe!

A lot of ink has been spilled to decide whether or not Abraham Lincoln was or was not a Christian. I read a lot of it as I constructed God Caused the Civil War. Here's my take on the whole debate: he was!! Here's the evidence I found and the sources. Take the evidence and believe or disbelieve as you see fit. (My Bob-ism for this sort of situation is, "Do what you want...you will anyway!")
"But when, very shortly before his death in answer to the question of an Illinois clergyman, ‘Do you love Jesus,’ he replied: ‘When I [Abraham Lincoln] left Springfield [to become President] I asked the people to pray for me. I was not a Christian. When I buried my son, the severest trial of my life, I was not a Christian. But when I went to Gettysburg [Nov. 19, 1863] and saw the graves of thousands of our soldiers, I then and there consecrated myself to Christ. Yes, I do love Jesus"(1)
I also saw a video (can't remember which one) with an interview of Professor Gabor Boritt of Gettysburg College who is pretty much an expert on things Lincoln. He indicated that the original draft of the Gettysburg Address did NOT contain the phrase "under God" in it, but that Lincoln extemporized as he spoke; which would make perfect sense if he had a conversion experience earlier in the day!
I have often thought that when the old hymn "When The Roll Is Called Up Yonder" is sung, folks are thinking of those who end up in Heaven. Well, from a Scriptural standpoint, EVERYBODY is gonna be there briefly. It's just that the separation of the sheep and goats will be based on which roll your name was entered in from Eternity Past. (I talked of this in Post #36.) Here on the anniversary of Lincoln's birth, I'd ask...
Got sheepskin or goatskin?

Source: (1)Taggart, D. Raymond, D. D. The Faith of Abraham Lincoln. The Service Print Shop, Topeka, Kansas, 1943, p. 192.

#63: Dunamis, Man!!

Sometimes being a jester in the court of the King of Kings has its moments. Last night the Lord took out a PECO transformer with wind or something and knocked out power to The Big House here at Camp Cornelius. Well, I naturally got a call reporting the same, knew I couldn't do anything, and continued to watch "Casino Royale" until the dvd player froze up. (God's hand?) While the Audio Visual Wiz worked to solve that problem, I decided to check out what was up in Cornelius' Castle.
Soo..I walked up to The Big House, hit 'silence' on the beeping alarm box, and six seconds later the power came back on...dumb luck or Divine Providence in a coincidental fashion?!! I walked up to the Kitchen to check on folks and was asked if I fixed the problem.
My response in a Bob-ism sort of way was, "Yep, I walked in the building!"
After they got done laughing either at or with me (sometimes there's a slim line there, I think), one sister suggested that the response should be blogged, so here it is!
There must be some way to 'spiritualize' this anecdote, so let's go with, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." (Philippians 4:6)
Got Jester's cap and bells?

#62: Jesus Junk

Today around noon I was walking from the Grey Havens to Bob in the Basement's Place chewing on my peanut butter-on-raisin bread sandwich and saw this bumper sticker on a car that slowly rolled past me. Why do we have to be cute and display "I heart Jesus" when "I love Jesus" would do? AND...as the red heart fades, does that mean your love for Him, if you have one of these stickers, is fading like it did at the Church of Ephesus which eventually disappeared? If it fades out completely, does it mean you're now officially apostate? Could the money you spent on this or other Jesus Junk (WWJD bracelets, posters, and all that other "stuff" in Christian bookstores) be more profitably used as a donation to, say, Wycliffe Bible Translators for their people specific work or your local Church?

Wouldn't your transparently Christ-like behavior be more of a 'witness' than your pins, buttons, bumper stickers, and that ever popular etcetera?!! Oh, yeah, and will you keep the stuff prominently displayed when the Persecution of the American Church begins in earnest after the November Election this year?!!

Gotta comment?

#61: Trumpet Blast At Last

I've often said that there's going to be a trumpet blast and a loud shout at the End Of All Things (no, Frodo did NOT come up with that phrase first!) just so Christians finally show up on time for an event in world history. Well, I saw some books on eschatolgy in an American Vision catalog several days ago. One entry was Is Jesus Coming Soon?
NOPE. Here's why:
1. Every people group on earth has NOT gotten representatives to stand before the Throne as Revelation 5:9 says. (Check out Operation World on this one.)
2. The world isn't as bad as it needs to get yet (hard as that may be to believe). (Vote for the worst possible candidate in November and speed up the downward slide!)
3. The sun aint black, the moon aint red, and the stars are still in the heavens. (Revelation 6:12)
Sooooooo.....
Here's my Three Day Theory:
Premise #1: Jesus was in the grave three days.
Premise #2: To God, a day is as a thousand years.
Conclusion: Jesus left around 33AD, He'll come back in 3,000 years from that day.
Got objections I can't ignore?

#60: Terms of Endearment

Well, here we are one week from Valentine's Day, the Hallmark Moment those of us born in mid-November consider National Procreation Day, and I'm thinking of pet names folks use towards each other, based on a linguistic faux pas I made yesterday.
The 'classic' terms of endearment are ones like 'honey', 'sweetie', 'peaches' and other diabetes-creating terms indigenous to our species. My Visigoth ancestors were no doubt fond of the lumps of flour we call dumplings that make up the latter part of 'chicken and...' so my mistake seems all the more appropriate, given my ancestry.
So...in Mandarin, (using phonetic English) "Nee How, Shao Mei" means "Hello, Little Sister". However, "Nee How, Shao Mai" (different spelling, same sound to the American ear) means "Hello, Little Dumpling"...not absolutely a term of endearment if the lady is weight-sensitive, but ok when it's your much younger sister in the Lord and you make her laugh at the 'ooops' involved.
Why do I mention this at all? I'm weird, for one, but it also gave me a point of contact with all the missionaries I pray for who have stories of linguistic laughs at their own expense as they learn a language not their own.
Besides, it's an object lesson in one of my Bob-isms: If you don't laugh at yourself, everybody else will!
Got chuckles?

#59: Old Testament Home Depot Trip

This morning at breakfast I was reading 2 Chronicles 16 about the war between Asa and Baasha. Asa hired Ben-Hadad to fight for him, got Baasha to stop building and "then King Asa brought all Judah, and they carried away the stones of Ramah and its timber with which Baasha had been building, and with them he fortified Geba and Mizpah."
Might doesn't necessarily make right, but it certainly alters the home improvement business of nations no matter where they are! The problem was that God was a bit irritated with old Asa and let him know through His prophet, who got chucked in jail as a result of calling down Asa.
Later on, Asa got a disease in his feet that killed him when he trusted in doctors instead of God.
Wonder if he stepped on a nail and got gangrene from walking around on the job site of swiped materials?
Got retribution?

#58: Psudoku Psycho-logy

OK, I was sittin' around yesterday thinking about why I and others enjoy doing Sudoku number puzzles. For that matter, why do we do ANY kind of puzzles, word games, and crosswords? Think I've got the answer other than we're all screwy.
Let's call what we do "a little slice of being like God" that began with The Fall in Genesis 3:6. The serpent presented the puzzle of good and evil to Adam and Eve in such terms that they just had to solve it by looking at the back of the book answer code, so to speak, contrary to God's orders, so we're just following in their footsteps.
Hmmm...in verse 7 they realized they were naked, but in their case the phrase could not have been "naked as the day they were born" so I guess "naked as the day they were made" would fit.
Hmmm...was there a "made in Eden" tag hanging from them somewhere? Did Mrs. Rib chide Adam about his nakedness and, hence, the phrase "ribbing someone?" Did Man REALLY say, "Whoa, Man," when he saw Eve in her birthday suit for the first time, and hence, the gender's name? Oh, and could his and hers actually be called "Birthday Suits", since we've already determined they were made, not born?
Got more logic?

#57: Blog Clock Foulup

Probably none of you takes notice of the headers on your emails, so you absolutely don't look at the signature and post time of blogsites...just my guess from observing human behavior.
Of course, the nit pickers among you might. (Do nit pickers pick knit knickers?)
Anyway, you're gonna see that this here post was posted at 12:34pm today...WRONG. It was STARTED at that time and actually got stuck on the site at some later hour minutes later. (Figure out THAT time line while you're at it!)
Of course, I Blog would probably counter my proposal with the idea that I'm actually 'posting' this at the start of the time frame to THEIR area and 'publishing' it at the time I hit the 'publish post' button...whatever!
Why do I bring this up?
What's the name of this site?
Got logic?

#56 Self Promotion

Well, today God Caused the Civil War made it to WTS's Library shelves and somebody took it out already.
It's in bound manuscript form.
Ain't looking to publish.
Officially have hung it up for now.
Gathering the manuscript from these posts to add Self Indulgent B.S. to the collection sometime in the already, not yet!!
Got words?

#55: God's Pet Dragon

Yes, you read the heading correctly. Read Job 41, the description of Leviathan, only this time put aside your preconceived notion that a fire breathing dragon is only a mythical creation and not one of God's pets created before man in the Ordo Creatis (or however scholars would term Genesis 1 & 2 in Latin...you know, the dead language that's supposed to make you sound really smart).
Oh, yeah, I have another recommendation...rent "Reign of Fire," with Christian Bale and Matthew McConaughy! Great action flick with Quinn and the chick pilot, Alex, holding hands in the last scene! (Quitcher whining...you'll see it's a chick flick 5 minutes after they first meet!!) My favorite line in the flick is said by Creedy (Gerard Butler, who also played King Leonidas in "300", Attila in the movie of the same name, and the Phantom in "Phantom of the Opera.") McGonaughy is driving up in his tank and Creedy says, "The only thing worse than a dragon is an American!" (He could be right...we're the only nation to drop an a-bomb on anyone so far in history!!)
The funny thing is how the writer of the movie explains how dragons can breathe fire...natural napalm that is entirely possible in God's way of creating things. Heck, I knew guys in college who used to burn the natural methane gas they produced at their hind ends, so why couldn't a dragon simply produce the necessary chemicals at the fore end?!!
OH, Yeah...I also think Job's description of Behemoth is much closer to a Brontosaurus than it is to the standard explanation of a hippopotamus! Come on scholars, get with MY program, wouldja?!! (Renting "Jurassic Park" is optional, but the newest "King Kong" is pretty slick if you want some feisty dinosaur action.)
Got popcorn this weekend?