Many, many years ago, an issue of Weekly Reader changed my entire life for the rest of my days until I finally burn out my brain entirely. And, NO, I haven't exaggerated anything in the history of the planet! (Tip of the hat to Oscar Leroy of "Corner Gas".) The word presented in one article of WR was "ghoti"...pronounced "fish" because the 'gh' was from 'tough', the 'o' was from 'women', and the 'ti' was from 'nation'. OK...so I've been thinking about stuff like that off and on for forty years or so.Today's linguistic traipse through the daisy fields goes something like this:
Say 'tough', 'rough', 'slough' (as in serpent's skin), & 'enough' (appropriate last choice?).
Now say, 'bough', 'cough', 'dough', 'through' & 'slough' once again. Why 'bowwww', 'dohhh', 'throoo', and 'slooo'? Shouldn't they be 'buff', 'duff', 'thruff', & 'sluff'?! And what's with 'cough' (cawf, not cuff)?
Now, add a 't' to the crumpet...'brought', 'drought', 'fought', 'ought', 'sought', 'thought', & 'wrought'. Should (pronounced 'shud', not 'shoould'!) the sentence made from these words sound like this? "I bruft water during the druft and fuft my thirst as I uft to do when I suft what I thuft was following what God had wruft."
Och, Laddies and Ladies, it muusta been when tha Lourrrd cum down at Babel and saide "Let Us confuse them" tha Ainglish wus started. A course, some Sassenach Druid Ainglish Ticher mighta been hit oon his head wi' a tumblin' rock from Stonehenge, too, wha' made it worse yit as it goot passed on t'us!
Got straight jacket?
Ps. And whize it culled a strrrraaaight jacket when it wraipes yer airms arouuuun' ya?!!
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