I’ve been looking through a sign catalog that came in the mail. Did you ever actually READ some of these signs?!! Lookit this:“Slow Pedestrian Crossing”…where’s the Fast Pedestrian Crossing? Or, for that matter, where IS the guy who’s crossing most of the time? Or...is this a sign for psycho drivers to urge them on to run the slowpokes down?
How about “Deer Crossing”? Where? When? Howcome the chicken crossing the road gets all the press, not the deer?
How about “NO OUTLET”? Did you REALLY expect there to be a place to hook up your hair dryer or electric razor outside?
How about “Caution, Watch For: Small Kids, Runners, Bicyclists, & Pedestrians”? Why not include “Maniac SUV Drivers, Snipers on the Rooftops, Guys Who Clean Your Windshield at This Intersection”?
How about “Slow Speed Bump”? Of course it’s slow…it’s nailed to the blacktop with reinforcing rods!!
How about “School Buses Only”? Only what? Or should that be who?
How about “Warning Parking Violator will be Immobilized and charged a service fee”? Can you expect some guy with duct tape and a stun gun to be close by? Hey, with that kind of personalized service, I think a FEE is appropriate, don’t you?!
And, finally, how about my favorite, “No Parking, Stopping, Standing”? Was the guy who put the sign there in the first place in violation when he stood back to admire his work? Was he immobilized and charged the appropriate service fee?
Got signs of the times?
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