#131: Rock and Roll Religion Revisited

You Tube has opened up a whole new doorway for me. I can listen to my old Rock and Roll favorites and I've even got Spybot and Ad-Aware to fondue the evil cheese that might download with the music unbeknownst to this techno-dinosaur thanks to my ever faithful and techno-advanced Pilot Elfson!!

Well, Jefferson Airplane's "Somebody To Love" has a message y'all need to hear...cranked at full volume down in the bowels of Stone Walled Charismatic Presbyterian Church, of course, as I pontificate. Gracie Slick writes, "When the truth [notice it's a small "t"...I checked the lyrics specifically] is found to be liiiiiiiiiiiies...and all the joy within you dies....don't you want somebody to love..." Hey, Martin Luther used a barroom tune for "A Mighty Fortress," so I'm turnin' this into an evangelistic/encouragement opportunity for the few of you who are reading this!! Just realize that The Truth (better known as Jesus, who claims to be "the Way, The Truth, and the Life" in John 14:6) NEVER is found to be lies and the "Somebody to love" first loved us and sent His Son to die for us and quickened us to be Saints instead of Aints!! OOORAH, OOORAH!! (Just shifted to The Battle Hymn of the Republic on WBOB music station.)

Sooo...if you're an Aint who has not been Born Again and have had ENOUGH of dealing with life's slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, ask the Lord to come into your life, save your butt, and turn you into a Saint as He did the jailer in Acts 16:30-31, "...he said, "Sirs, what must I do to be saved?" And they said, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you shall be saved, you and your household."

If you're already a Saint (an Aint, born dead in your trespasses and sins, who's now got the "S" of salvation added to your Aint-ness and God's Holy Spirit dwelling within you), then rejoice in John 15:9, "Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love."
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune may be increased as you continue to live out your life on this mortal coil...almost inevitably WILL BE as you grow in grace...but as a Saint you're assured of a seat at the Marriage Feast of the Lamb AND a way to deal with whatever hits the fan of this life, knowing that it ALL is designed to work together for your good!!

Got worship?

#130: White For Harvest

Well, I'm just back from mowing some property that was white with dandelions in head...a sight that brings much dismay to landscaping old guys, but is something you just have to tolerate sometimes.

What I'm wonderin' is whether Jesus was looking out over a field of dandelions when He said in John 4:35, "Behold, I say to you, lift up your eyes, and look on the fields, that they are white for harvest."

Got 100 million dandelions?

#129: Bob's Briefs

No, no, no...this is not about flannel boxer shorts or Sponge Bob Square Pants! It is about pithy sayings that I've culled from various sources over the last 28 years. I guess you could say they're other folks' equivalent to Bobisms that are worth remembering:

"Trust God and do the next thing." --Oswald Chambers, WWI chaplain to British Expeditionary Forces whose stenographer wife wrote down everything that appears posthumously in his books.

"Duty is ours. Consequences are God's." --General Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson

"A Christian is invincible on his knees." --Martin Luther

"Get there first with the most men." --General Nathan Bedford Forrest

"God does not pay at the end of every week, but He pays at last!" --Anne of Austria to Cardinal Richelieu

"Prayer is always the preface to blessing." --Charles Spurgeon

"The real secret of an unsatisfied life lies too often in an unsurrendered will. --J. Hudson Taylor

"The serene beauty of a holy life is the most powerful influence in the world next to the might of God." --Blaise Pascal

"Have thy tools ready; God will find thee work." --Charles Kingsley

"Jesus wept." --John 11:35

Got brevity of wit?

#128: Bible Bob's Annotations

Back in The Day (of one of the churches out of which I've been kicked), I made up this list of the 66 books of the Bible in my own summary words to give some folks something on which to hang their understanding:
Genesis: Jesus jump starts everything!
Exodus: Hit the road Jack, and don'tcha come back!
Leviticus: Laws for everything and then some
Numbers: Where now, Lord?
Deuteronomy: Moses explains Leviticus
Joshua: Israel invades, Canaan crashes
Judges: Israel drops the ball
Ruth: Biblical Romeo & Juliet
1 & 2 Samuel: The stories of Sam and Dave
1 & 2 Kings: Israel's ups and downs, View 1
1 & 2 Chronicles: Israel's ups and downs, View 2
Ezra: Back from Babylon, Part 1
Nehemiah: Back from Babylon, Part 2
Esther: Don't pester Esther
Job: Blistered for God
Proverbs: God, Bad, and Ugly
Ecclesiastes: Think you're smart, Hunh?!
Song of Solomon: WHOA, BABY!!
Isaiah: Bad News...Good News, Part 1
Jeremiah: Cryin' the Blues
Lamentations: Tears Aplenty
Ezekiel: Zeke's "Freaks" know I AM God
Daniel: Come here, Kitty!!
Hosea: Looks Good...Smells Bad
Joel: Bugs Now...Hell Later
Amos: Famous Amos is not a cookie
Obadiah: Edom...You're History
Jonah: A Whale of a Tale!
Micah: Country Boy "Blues"
Nahum: Where did they go?
Habakkuk: K-O'd by God
Zephaniah: Build now...Rejoice later
Malachi: Burn 'em all out!!
Matthew: Just like HE said!
Mark: Did you SEE that?!!
Luke: Let's get this straight, Theo!
John: Presenting...JESUS!
Acts: The Holy Spirit's smokin'!
Romans: Bad News...Good News, Part 2
1&2 Corinthians: You've got problems...I've got answers
Galatians: Are You Free, or Not?!
Ephesians: You Are...Now, You Do
Philippians: Jesus Owns You! (J.O.Y.)
Colossians: Here's your Head
1 & 2 Thessalonians: Nice Job...Keep it up
1 & 2 Timothy: Hang Tough, Brother
Titus: Do yourselves a favor
Philemon: Do me a favor
Hebrews: Yo, Folks...Grow Up!!
James: Put Up or Shut Up!!
1&2 Peter: When life gets tough
1,2,3, John: Love Me or Leave Me
Jude: War with Peace
Revelation: JESUS WINS!!

#127: Allergies

Yes, the photo to the right of these words is of God's Springtime Handiwork here at Camp Cornelius. But as the Post Title indicates, a significant portion of the pollen produced to replicate that beauty is in my sinuses and eyes. 1964 was an interesting year: puberty, Little League baseball championship victory for my team, mononucleosis for the first time from drinking out of a community water bucket, and ALLERGIES began. You ought to see the looks I get when I relate that I've "been doing drugs since 1964" until I get around to mentioning that they are antihistamines like Allegra-D. Well, I am living proof of 2 Corinthians 4:7-8, "But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the surpassing greatness of the power may be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body."

One of my favorite profs at seminary said that these "earthen vessels" were "cheap clay pots bought at your local Corinthian K-Mart" in class one day and now that quote resides in my Bible as well as my head.

Reading that part of the verse, "carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus," makes me wonder whether or not one MORE misery Jesus had to put up with on the Cross was sneezing while being crucified. Think about how THAT would feel to wrench His hands and lungs in the midst of all the rest of the suffering!

Got worship?

#126: Happy Chicken Little Day

Yep, back in 1061 on this day some English monk looked up in the sky, saw Halley's Comet, and decided to let everyone know that England was about to be destroyed...one can only assume because of his perception of the wickedness that existed there. Just think, only 5 years later, William the Conqueror kicked some English booty at the Battle of Hastings, so maybe El Monko wasn't as whacked as one might initially think. Just think of the lives he could have affected if Al Gore's ancestor had invented the Internet back then!!
Well, so I don't get accused of "writing drivel" in these posts...yes, yes, the statement HAS been made to me...here's the Biblical quote that redeems the time, from Isaiah 41:10: 'Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.'
This particular verse should comfort any of you anytime the old Worry Meter spikes to its highest setting and your "wiggle room" narrows down to a very narrow corridor instead of the wide open spaces you first perceived you were going to have available to you in whatever aspect of your life you find yourself.
Got Palm oil?

#125: The REAL Earth Day

OK, today is Earth Day when we're supposed to be hugging the planet, so go lie face down on some piece of property and give the ground a hug...just make sure you're not on top of a nest of fire ants, termites, or yellow jackets!
The picture here is of the very FIRST tree I planted back in 1986 when it was about 18" tall. Twenty-two years later it's roughly 6'6" and a classic example of Lacy Leaf Chinese Red Maple beauty and masterful pruning, if I do say so myself!!

I don't know all the ins and outs of copyrights on the Internet, so I'll simply point you to the Joshua Project's address to show you the really important map of earth: http://www.joshuaproject.net/global-progress-scale.php

The Christian Environmentalist Credo is amply stated in Romans 8:22, "For we know that the whole creation groans and suffers the pains of childbirth together until now." Take time to move the birthing process along in the Lord's sovereign time by going to the Joshua Project site and tearing down some strongholds across the planet, using your most powerful weapon, prayer, to cause the Gospel to go to "every nation, tribe, and tongue" in the effective manner described in Isaiah 55:11!

Got people groups?

#124: Don't Pray for Patience

Yesterday I worked my way through some of the 1,800 missionary news letters/emails I'll get in the next twelve months and one specifically asked that we "pray for patience" for the writers.
DON'T DO THAT...EVER!!
Look:
1. If you're Born Again, you've got God's Holy Spirit dwelling within you. (Ezekiel 36:26, 27)
2. The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control (Galatians 5:22-23), so you've ALREADY got patience and don't need to ask for more.
3. If you ask for patience, you're asking to get hammered by the trials that produce it as James 1:2-5 says, "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. ("worketh patience" in the KJV) And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. But if any of you lacks wisdom [my emphasis], let him ask of God, who gives to all men generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.
4. USE the patience you've already got and ask for wisdom to know how what you're going through is "working together for your good" as Romans 8:28-29 says, including the possibility that you're being conformed to the image of the Suffering Servant!!
Got this straight?

#123: Waltzin' Matilda

Well, folks, there's some good news/bad news from Down Under (that would be Australia for those of you who don't know the lingo; which rhymes with dingo, an indigenous animal to the place). There's been six years of drought on that island continent and it's adversely affecting the rice supply world wide according to this article: http://www.worthynews.com/news/iht-com-articles-2008-04-17-business-17warm-php/. Needless to say, that's the bad news.

The Good News comes from 2 Chronicles 7:13-14 (my emphasis on the words, of course),"If I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or if I command the locust to devour the land, or if I send pestilence among My people, and My people who are called by My name humble themselves and pray, and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, will forgive their sin, and will heal their land." So, you three Aussies out there who might be reading this today, pray that your countrymen in the Lord follow the above stated rules so we here in Great Britain's first transport-your-undesirables-place can get some "news from afar" as Pv. 25:25 states that is good concerning the revival of the Church Down Under and the reaching of the peoples all over the Outback!!

OY...got some jumbuck in your tucker bag to go Waltzin' with a Matilda full of Bibles?

For you possibly uninformed folks from the lands of the Maple Leaf and Stars and Stripes...go to this You Tube spot for enlightenment on the last sentence and some enjoyable music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INdjRCNcZj0
One of these days I might go walk about!
American Swagman Bob

#122: Medical S.O.S.

A buddy of mine has an infected facial cyst that's extremely painful.
Please pray he gets healed SOON!!
Thanks.
Bob

#121: Sacred vs Scared

I've been reading a devotional put together by a guy named Roy H. Clarke since April 23, 2005. It's a collection of items written by Charles Spurgeon, the Prince of Preachers in 19th century England called Beside Still Waters; Words of Comfort for the Soul.
Today's entry pointed out that "pray without ceasing" comes right after "rejoice always" in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 and is followed by "in everything give thanks." To quote further:
"The more praying, the more rejoicing. Prayer gives a channel to pent up sorrow, and it flows away in a steady stream of scared delight. The more rejoicing, the more praying. When the heart is quiet and full of joy, it will draw near to the Lord in worship. A holy joy and prayer act and react on each other....When joy and prayer are married, the firstborn child is gratitude."

Didja notice the typo I put in italics? The transposition of two letters drastically changed the meaning of what Charley S. really meant! When you're bummed out, prayer gives you the channel to let the crap of life flow down the pipes, so to speak, and produces a sacred delight, not a scared one, based on the fact that Jesus loves you as much as the Father loves him; which has the necessary implication that the FATHER loves you as much as He loves Jesus because you are in Him!! You don't have to be scared of talking to Him, but can rejoice in the fact that He wants to hear from you; especially when life sucks!

On top of that, you can be thankful in the midst of your praying that even before you ask, He's got the answer on the way, even if it takes a while to get to you. Give it a shot and see what happens. I can give you 177,551 examples of how it works.
Got sacred delight? (Might be a good name for a dessert at the Marriage Feast of the Lamb!)

#120: Azaleas and Mr. Lincoln

Well, here it is, April 14th. One day before the dreaded Ides of April when your income taxes need to be reported. It's also the anniversary of the assassination of President Abraham Lincoln at Ford's Theater, a former Baptist Church coverted in 1861. (Kind of a reverse-conversion of buildings, given that store fronts these days get converted into churches.) An interesting twist in that story is that the assassin, John Wilkes Booth, was shot and killed by a Christian, Sgt.Thomas "Boston" Corbett, who had gotten saved out of the gutters of New York City, literally, through a mission agency, probably a "store front" at the time. Corbett ended up in Andersonville Prison and was a comfort with his preaching to men there.

Anyway, today we planted eight new Hino Crimson Azaleas at The Ramp, so I thought I'd show off our handiwork and a new shot of yours truly, taken by a passing motorist who stopped to rag on me as usual. I pointed out to the erstwhile commentator that the day before The Fall, Adam was a gardener. The day after The Fall, he was a maintenance man. Today I got to follow in the good footsteps of our mutual ancestor. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? But, as Jesus said, I don't have to worry about tomorrow, it will take care of itself.
I'm going out to plant a couple more azaleas at the Grey Havens.
Got good dirt?

Sources about Corbett:
David Balsiger, & Charles E. Sellier, Jr. The Lincoln Conspiracy. Schick sunn classic books, Los Angeles, 1977, p. 234.
Lela J. McBride, “Whatever Became of Boston Corbett?” Civil War Times Illustrated, May/June 1991, p. 52.

#119: 4:30am and the Epilogue

Yep, I got up today at the EXACT minute that the first cannon was fired against Fort Sumter on Good Friday, April 12, 1861. I'm sure that thrills you to no end, so I'll complete the thrill by simply including here the Epilogue to God Caused the Civil War with interspersed remarks:

“...I am a voice of one crying in the wilderness,
‘Make straight the way of the Lord’.” (John 1:23)

Every history book should be able to answer the question, “What’s your point?” Mine has not been to add one more to the ever growing list of books written on the Civil War. [Obviously, it aint published!] More than seventy thousand published titles adequately fill that bill. It has not been to make money from the sale of another book on the War, although that would be a pleasant side effect. [Does the phrase, "snowball's chance" fit?!]

My point is to indicate that God, in fact, was the primary agent causing the Civil War, using people, places, weather, and events in specific ways to accomplish His ends. The coincidences of the Civil War were designed by the God of Israel and were not the result of fate, luck, destiny, or impersonal providence. The logical extension of this reasoning is that God caused all wars throughout history to bring about His Biblically stated purpose... "and then they will know that I am God." Andersonville survivor, Warren Lee Goss, wrote at the end of his book, “Revenge is not tolerated in the light of our high, ennobling civilization; but when I behold the South, stricken and suffering from fire, famine, and the sword, as one of the results of the awful civil contest just closed, I seem to see the hand of God’s retribution seeking out and visiting her crimes with chastisement. If in coming times, as in the past, she shall sin against the moral ideas of the age, or if we, as then, become participants in her crime, so shall we reap, with her, the punishment of those crimes.”(1)

Author Mitchell Snay points out in his work, Gospel of Disunion, that prior to the Civil War, the spiritual split on North/South lines in each of the mainline denominations of the United States over the issue of slavery was the spiritual precursor to the North/South split politically during the Civil War. Hartford Institute for Religion Research identifies that there are “35,000 independent and nondenominational [apparently Protestant Christian] congregations currently with approximately 10,000,000 members in the United States, making these congregations a large but relatively anonymous presence in the U.S. religious landscape.”(2)

It appears to be a continuing and growing trend. Evangelicals fight among themselves about anti-abortion tactics as much as they did anti-slavery activity. Every new independent congregation formed illustrates the spirit of secession that split the South from the United States, but also which caused West Virginia to break off from Virginia, north Texans to talk about seceding from Texas, and Governor Joseph Brown to threaten to take Georgia out of the Confederacy at various times. The spiritual fragmentation of the Church [in 2008] into thousands of independent congregations, as well as thousands of parachurch organizations, is the likely spiritual precursor to political fragmentation of the United States into a continentally encompassed feudal state where locality and its immediate demands take precedence over the concept of one nation under God. The alternative is repression of this spirit in such a fashion that centralized totalitarianism is the likely result. [A result that will make Nazi Germany in the 1930s look like a picnic by comparison.]

The Church has stood by and allowed abortion to be legal for over three decades, just as it stood by and justified slavery for two hundred and fifty years. It has allowed prayer to be removed from public schools for over four decades. It has allowed the societal practices condemned in Leviticus 17-28, that describe the lands of Egypt and Canaan of the 15th century B.C., to dominate its culture. Poll takers estimate that 30-35% of Americans claim to be Evangelicals. They should be changing society more now than they did before the Civil War.

The United States stands at a time in its history as controversial and pivotal as the middle of the nineteenth century. If Evangelicals in America do not more actively live out their expressed beliefs, then “the time has come for judgment to begin at the house of God; and if it begins with us first, what will be the end of those who do not obey the gospel of God?”(1 Peter 4:17) As Abraham Lincoln said at Gettysburg, Americans of every description have a great task before us. May God cause us to walk by His light, since the handwriting is on the wall.

Got Battle Hymn lyrics?

Sources:

1. Warren Lee Goss. The Soldier’s Story of His Captivity at Andersonville, Belle Isle, and Other Rebel Prisons. Boston, Lee and Shepard, 1868, p. 242.
2. Hartford Institute for Religion Research, “Nondenominational Congregations Today”, [http://hirr.hartsem.edu/org/faith_congregations_nondenom_FACT.html][cited 4/13/05]

#118: God's Cookin' Again

Well, yesterday at lunch while noshing on some leftovers I read a story in Wycliffe Bible Translators current magazine that was adapted from a report by The JESUS Film Project that needs to be posted.
This guy named Mbugri in Ghana was deaf. He and a bunch of his village neighbors were watching the JESUS film. Half-way through the film Mbugri could hear for the first time in his life, knew it was Christ who did it, and came to faith when the invitation was given. As a result of the miracle, his family of eight and many other villagers came to faith, too.
End of story...at least for now.
Got choked up yet?

#117: Shakespeare Revisited

I woke up this morning with the phrase, "But soft, what light through yonder window breaks!" and it started my wheels rollin' along the following lines. What if you took some of Willy Shakes' famous lines and altered them a bit? Watch:

"But soft, what light through yonder window breaks! It is Julia...and she just fell off the balcony in a pile of glass!" (Romeo and Juliet)

"Out, out, damned Spot...quit burying bones in my garden!" (Lady Mac in MacBeth)

"All the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances...but most of the time they don't know where the heck they are or what the heck they're doing." (Jacques in As You Like It)

"To be or not to be...well, I'd settle for a cee on that test!" (Hamlet in...well...Hamlet, of course)

"Alas, poor Yorrick, I knew him, Horatio..and he aint lookin' so good!" (Hamlet again)

"Now is the winter of our discontent...but Spring's just around the corner." (Richard in RichardIII)

"Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me...your cell phones." (Marc Anthony in Julius Caesar)

Got stage to strut and fret upon?

#116: Drafted Again!!

I missed out on an all expenses paid trip to Southeast Asia back in 1969 when my draft number was #362 of 365 in a Philadelphia draft board, my brother had enlisted to keep me out of the draft because Mom was a widow, and I went to college.
However, I DID get drafted just after midnight, August 17, 1980 into the Army of the Living Lord. For those of you who've met folks who want to hang on to the idea that they found Jesus or they chose Jesus...#1 He was never lost, and #2 He says in John 15:16, "You did not choose Me, but I chose you, and appointed you, that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask of the Father in My name, He may give to you."
OK, that's the serious theology for the post.
Now you can read my second draft notice:
"Hey Bob,
I don't know if you've heard but you are signed up for Uncle Bob's Tree Tour for Earth Day! Are you up to it? You can plan what you want for it, but just walk the kids around to your favorite trees and have fun with it! It's officially on Wed. April 23rd from 4-6."
Just imagine, I get to tell the stories of Virgina Beech, Nathaniel the Hawthorne, Stephen Ironwood and Bobbalouie the Lacy Leaf Chinese Red Maple along with references to Richelieu the Cardinal and Ironhead the Redheaded Woodpecker!
Since Earth Day is the 22nd, the same day as Primary Election Day and we're a voting place, we pushed our day back to Wednesday; what I call Unreal Earth Day vs. Real Earth Day on the 22nd.
And, gee, with the temperatures rising since it's April, I guess we can illustrate REAL Global Warming at the same time...God Style!!
Got parables?

#115: Palm Sunday Peace

Yep, 143 years ago, April 9, 1865 on Palm Sunday, Robert E. Lee showed up at Appomattox Court House to surrender the Army of Northern Virginia to Ulysses S. Grant.
It was Good Friday, April 12, 1861 when the American Civil War started by the bombardment of Fort Sumter and Easter Sunday two days later when it formally surrendered.
112/409 battles I've studied occurred on Sundays...frequently led by Christian Generals of either the North or the South. 66% of the time the attacks failed.
Abraham Lincoln was shot by John Wilkes booth on Good Friday, April 14, 1865 and died on the 15th, the day your taxes are due each year.
About 300,000 Americans came to a saving knowledge of Christ as a result of the War, roughly half Yanks/half Rebs.
Coincidence in the providence of God is an interesting study.
Got others to cite?

#114: Short Form

Bob-ism #21 is too long.
Here's the revision:
Step into the eye of the storm...get outta the wind!
BS

#113: Bob-ism #21

Yep, another one of my sisters inspired me with a mention of having too many crises going on in her life to have time to schedule yet another one.
Here goes #21:
Step into the eye of the storm when your crises fill up your Day-Timer and sing "Amazing Grace" off and on!!
Got the tune in mind?

#112: My Bad, Officer

Do you think the phrase that makes up the title of this post will be sufficient apology when the cops are authorized to haul you Christians away for hate speech? Do you think the fact that you don't want to see various people groups burning in Hell forever as a motivation for pointing out their guilt will matter? Do you think American Christians are exempt from what all the rest of the planet's Christians have faced at one time or another? Do you realize that y'all believe that a particular Book is inerrant and infallible that makes really harsh statements about people who do bad things? Do you recognize the spirit of this age as one which will not tolerate this sort of behavior any more?
Look at some of the clear cut evidence:
God says, "Jacob I love, Esau I hated." (Ich! Romans 9:13...rather an unlucky verse for Esaus of all ages, hunh?!)
Then there's the list of bad guys in Romans 1:18-32 that includes my favorite, "disobedient to parents" as a condemning characteristic...looks like The Terrible Twos sends us all to Hell without passing "Go" or collecting $200!
Of course, in case there were a few of us who were "model children" at Age Two, there's always Psalm 14:1: "They are corrupt, they have committed abominable deeds; There is no one who does good." Guess that's Checkmate?!
Well, lookit the bright side, you'll be able to be involved in "prison ministry" from the inside as a reward for faithfulness to the Word.
Got orange jump suit?

#111: Speakin' of My Book

It just occurred to me...If any of you two who read this blog want to read God Caused the Civil War, it can be found in the Library of Westminster Theological Seminary in Philadelphia as a "dissertation." Feel free to check it out.
I gave up getting rejected by publishers. I was developing issues and was conflicted...EEEUUUWW!!
As folks used to sign letters during the Civil War,
Your ob't servant.
Got Interlibrary Loan?

#110: Shiloh & Ben-Hur

Today is the 146th anniversary of the second day of the Battle of Shiloh, Tennessee during the American Civil War. (Warning Will Robinson: many more Civil War Posts upcoming this month!!) Shiloh is a battle that illustrates 3 chapters of God Caused the Civil War rather handsomely, if I do say so myself; which I will, of course, since that's the whole purpose of Self Indulgent B.S.!!

The first piece of this puzzle is that Confederate General Albert Sydney Johnston bragged to his troops that they "would water their horses in the Tennessee River" the night of their attack, meaning they were goin' ta WHUP them Yankees they were about to attack. In the Lord's providence, good ole Albert got shot in the back of his leg by his own troops during the attack, didn't realize he was wounded (I guess because of the adrenalin rush of battle), and bled to death when a simple tourniquet would have saved him. This was one of the examples of death by "friendly fire" that occurred in the War and illustrates that "pride goes before a fall," the theme of two chapters, actually, of the book. (Stonewall Jackson's wounding at Chancellorsville was the most famous example.)

The second piece of this puzzle is that the Confederates attacked at Shiloh on a Sunday morning, catching the Yankees with their pants down, so to speak...in some cases, literally, I guess, down by the creek (or should that be "up the creek?"). HOWEVER, even though they pushed back the Federals all day on Sunday, General Grant regrouped and Kicked Confederate Butt on Monday. Statistically, attacking on a Sunday during the War had a 66% chance of losing the battle, whereas attacking on Friday, Saturday, or Monday had about a 67% chance of winning the battle. Maybe the Christian generals on both sides who said they lost battles because they broke the Sabbath were on to something?!! By the way, as I point out in God Caused, the attackers at the Battles of Bannockburn in Scotland, New Orleans, Waterloo, Little Big Horn, Manila Bay, Gallipolli, and Pearl Harbor LOST as part of a world history list of Sunday battles.

The third piece of this puzzle is that the battle took place near Shiloh Meeting House, a Christian Church that was named after a place in Israel that most folks point out means "peace" but fail to point out that it was the place God judged Israel for its sin. This is the point of two other chapters of the book; that God providentially manuevered battles to the vicinity of Christian churches in order to point out that He was NOT happy and was not in the process of blessing America. (One note, however: He DID bring roughly 300,000 Americans to a saving knowledge of Him through conversion experiences, including Abraham Lincoln on November 19, 1863 and George Armstrong Custer in February, 1865 while he was on furlough!!)

The last piece of this Providential Puzzle (oh, the opening lines of my book are, "How many coincidences does it take to make a providence of God? One, if you’re willing to believe it. On the other hand, thousands will be insufficient if you’re not.") is that Charlton Heston died yesterday, so we watched "Ben-Hur" in his honor, a book written by General Lew Wallace, a Christian, who was at the battle of Shiloh and led the successful attack on Monday of the Union right flank. In Ben-Hur, the Hur family comes to faith in their Messiah as a result of some very interesting circumstances. I'd recommend the movie with 5 stars!
Got popcorn and gunsmoke?

#109: Lava Lamps, Nukes, Noah & Frankenstein

This should probably be posted tomorrow, since it's the 43rd anniversary of the event, but I wanted you two folks out there who read this blog to have a chance to prepare for some sort of celebration before the day actually happens.
Today In History reports that April 5th in 1965 was both Lava Lamp Day AND that the U.S. Government set off nuclear testing that same day.
My question is this. Were some Nuke Dudes sitting around watching the perambulations of their lava lamps and decided it was time to go back to work instead of mellowing out with a joint?!!

Now, today, April 4, 2008 is the 4,356th anniversary of the landing of Noah's Ark on Mount Ararat, according to somebody's calculations! My question for this event is this. Was Mrs. Noah sitting around watching her lava lamp wondering when they were going to land?!!
This day is also the anniversary of the eruption of Mount Tambora in Java in 1815 that caused "The Year without a Summer" around the globe because of the amount of ash spewed into the atmosphere. As a result, Mary Shelley cranked out the novel, Frankenstein, delving into the let's-be-like-God syndrome Satan got going in Eden "back in the day."
Hmmmmm...Mount Tambora firing off; now was THAT the Lord sitting on his Throne watching HIS Lava Lamp?!!
Got marshmallows to toast?

#108: "That'll Preach!"

Yep, that was one sister's assessment of my short oration on spiritual warfare on a personal level after dinner last night.
It all started off with the possibility of poltergeists in the Big House, traveled through the truth of Ephesians 6:12, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places," into the book of Daniel, around to Martin Luther's reputed ink bottle toss at Satan, touched a bit on Romans 8:31, "What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us?" and ended with John 4:4, "You are from God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world." Here's roughly how it ran...

Odd things happen to Christians in the physical world that quite possibly are the result of demonic activity. (Read C.S. Lewis's The Screwtape Letters as an interesting "read" on the subject.) Based on Psalm 91, the book of Daniel, and Hebrews 1:1-5, we Christians have guardian angels given by God as well as demons of different levels assigned to us by the Prince of Darkness. Angels and demons are immortal, so the ones, for instance, that were for/against Daniel were freed up to be assigned to someone else when he died and have been continually reassigned down through the ages. I figure it is likewise for all the rest of us on an adjustable scale, based on how close we're getting to the Lord in our daily walk. Martin Luther is said to have thrown an ink bottle at Satan himself; which makes sense, given the importance of Luther's role in the Reformation and Satan's ability to come up personally against one of God's people. (cf. Job 1 & 2)

So, the answer to the question of Romans 8:31 is this: Satan, at least 50,000,000 demons (based on the simple math that 10,000 x 10,000 angels surround the Throne in Revelation and they outnumber the fallen ones 2 to 1!), and about 6 billion unregenerated people on this planet!! HOWEVER, 1 John 4:4 is the key to this whole preachifying. If you're Born Again and have the Holy Spirit, "GREATER IS HE WHO IS IN YOU THAN HE WHO IS IN THE WORLD!" OOORAH, OOORAH!!

To summarize:
1. Recognize the fact that you're in a spiritual war deep in Enemy territory of which he's temporarily been given charge by God.
2. Even if the angels didn't outnumber the demons 2 to 1, you've got the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit on YOUR side and they're waaaaaaaaaaaay more powerful that the opposition.
3. When it hits the fan of your life, rely on James 4:7,8: "Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded."
Judy Collins is singing "Amazing Grace" on my computer as I write this, so I've gotta wrap this up and wipe my eyes.
Got tissues?

#107: Official Claim

OK...with all the Googling going on about all kinds of stuff, I want it officially known, and now written, that I AM THE ONE who originated the phrase, "Cheese in my computer!!"
If this becomes a phrase used throughout the solar system of hypertensionspace, I WANT THE CREDIT!!

Got that?

#106: Sweeney Todd Theology

Yesterday the cheese in my computer distracted me from making this post since I was in a whining mood anyway, so today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday!! (Actually, "tomorrow" NEVER actually gets here because, once you get to the day, it's "Today" not "Tomorrow"!!)
We of the Grey Havens watched Johnny Depp's "Sweeney Todd, The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" on April Fool's Day and I must say that it was superb. Granted, it was pretty gruesome, but it certainly showed man's total depravity and what vengeance will get you. (For those of you who don't know the story, Google "Sweeney Todd" and learn the story that goes back to the 19th century.)
Anyhow, Sweeney Todd's theology was PAY 'EM BACK!! (He did it with his razor blades, by the way.) God says, on the other hand, "Vengeance is Mine; I will repay!" This is NOT a practice that comes naturally to us Human Beans and Franks (and Anglos and Visigoths and Celts, etc). In fact, an entire continent's world view was based on vengeance back when the First Peoples of America migrated across the Bering Straits when God drove the peoples out of the land of Babel; which might be one of the reasons God Caused European Invasion of the New World (next book title?) against the First Peoples who had practices equal to the Canaanites and Egyptians of the 15th century B.C. who God destroyed because they were "abominations." (Check out the "Don't Do List" of Leviticus 17-28 and you'll see the comparisons, with the addition of scalping which was also done by the Huns over in the Old World!!)
So what's my point? If you're a Christian, you can relax a bit after the initial anger and desire to rip somebody's head off! I even came around to writing a poem (AHHHH...THE POINT) about it "back in the day" of my poetic muse:
"Vengeance is Mine," says the Lord.
"I will repay," says He.
So I can walk away from my foe,
And await Eternity. --10/24/06

Got Leaves of Grass?

#105: Cheese In My Computer

It's time for me to vent a bit. I have spent the last half of one hour, one-forty-eighth of a day, trying to get my expletives-deleted computer to actually operate correctly. My BIG mistake was to hit "download" for the Adobe Reader Update instead of "cancel." Apparently, it must have imported a delightful Brie or maybe some Camembert into the box of evil parts in front of me to slow down the works a bit. (I'm also betting one of my prayer partners is praying for patience for me, a sure-fire way to provide the trial that causes me to use the patience I've already got as part of the fruit of the Spirit detailed in Galatians 5:22-23.)
I, of course, had to hit "restart" and wait for THAT, then opening Microsoft Word (you know... created by the Gates of Hell Group) took several minutes, I highlighted one part of a sentence to make it bold, counted to 25 slowly and STILL did not get the thing for which I waited!! :(
Sooo...I went to Disc Cleanup and melted a bunch of the cheese that had apparently accumulated, cleaned out my Recycle Bin, and prayed through 15 entries in one of the prayer calendars I get while awaiting results. Another "restart" seems to have gotten the Evil Eyeball working for the time being; at least until the gremlims inside decide they want to dance around and irritate me again!
OK...OK...got WHINE with CHEESE?!!

#104: April Fools and Bubble Wrap

Sometime about 4:30am I thought, "Hmmm...today is April Fool's Day." Then I thought, "Why don't we have Fools Days in the other months?" and a minor epiphany occurred to me. This November on the first Tuesday of the month we DO!! The only difference is that we're calling it Election Day!!

Later on I was sitting here popping the little bubbles on a small piece of bubble wrap that was around a bottle of Red Truck wine a guy gave me last night and thought, "I wonder if anyone has done an environmental impact study about the gas and/or air that is given off when bubble wrap bubbles are popped?" (This is a practice that most of us have indulged in to the dismay of those around us on more than ONE occasion; I'd be willing to bet.) I believe Algore (said in a Rush Limbaugh tone) could build a Presidential candidacy on such an investigation if he funds it and comes in as the dark horse candidate if Barrack or Hillary are not chosen at the Democratic Convention in a reasonable number of turns of Democratic Monopoly.

Then I thought about one of my favorite sayings, Proverbs 6:18-19, "Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows and death, so is the man who deceives his neighbor, and says, "Was I not joking?"
Got connections?