#301: Signs I See

Nope...this is not going to be some political or religious tirade on upcoming events based on my prophetic observation of things around me. This is simply going to be a cogitation on actual signs I see as part of my walk around Camp Cornelius to open buildings in the morning when my brain is most synaptically stimulated.

One sign on a desk indicated that J. was "Admin. Assit. to the Director of Admissions." Just what, exactly, is an "Assit.?" Given the Southern family roots of our Director (can you sing "The Eyes of Texas Are Upon You?") I guess it could mean the position is an assit, not a liability. Or, it could mean "Ah sit here to help y'all", I suppose.

Then there's our "Dean of Students and Minist. Form." Does this stem from the question about time management, "Have you got a Minist?" If you "have a minist," do you fill out a Minist. Form in order to qualify for some longer period of time? Is a Minist. Form like a dress form, designed to hang your theological garments on to get them to fit properly?

Later in my routine I saw a sign taped to the door, "Out all day." What about all night?

What's the difference between an Administrative Assistant and an Executive Administrative Assistant? Dictionary.com indicates that one meaning of "executive" is: "of, pertaining to, or suited for carrying out plans, duties, etc.: executive ability". Does that mean all them there Admin. Assits. really AIN'T because they are not "suited for carrying out plans, duties, etc." and therefore don't get the title?

Given the fact that there is a proliferation of Christian Conferences for all sorts of things, since we have a Vice President for Advancement, should we have a V.P. for Retreats?

Does a Chief Operating Officer have to be certified by the A.M.A.? Does he get to wear scrubs and carry a stethoscope? Should there be a "Chief Operating Petty Officer" who takes care of little things?

Then there's "Director of Physical Plant". Which one am I supposed to order around? Should there be a "Director of Metaphysical Plant" at Camp Cornelius, given the nature of the place? What would be the qualifications? Would a short form of the title be "B.S. Boss?"

Just wonderin', that's all.