#207: Prayer Rocks!

Today's title came to me whilst contemplating some things from Proverbs 15. It's inherently a psychological test of your age and the way you think. If you thought "prayer rocks"... reminds me of Pet Rocks, you're long in the tooth and over a coupla hills. If you thought "prayer is a force in the universe that is AWWWWSOME"... you're Generation Young'un (a new derivation for which I now claim all rights and reservations if it gets used in future).

The ambiguity is intentional because I think both ways; yeah, I'm long in the tooth, think like a Young'un, and my Archangel thinks I need parents! "Prayer rocks" are places in the Scriptures that are solid as the Rock of Ages for reliability when you stand on them in Christ. Jeremiah 33:3, "Call to Me, and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know" is rather self-explanatory and was once known as God's Telephone Number. Psalm 37:4, "Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart" is a promise to transform your heart so you're asking what He wants to give you in the first place as well as a promise that you ask, you get. Then there's Matthew 7:7, "Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened to you." I could go on for hours with this, but there are weeds outside here at Camp Cornelius that are waiting to die on this hot July day.

Now, "Prayer Rocks!" as my Gen Young'uns might say in moments of excitement and spiritual vitality, could be my world life view summarized over the last 28-years-less-17 days experience. (I'm coming up on my Rebirth Day on the 17th of this month when God graciously quickened a fourth generation Covenant Kid, checking off my name on His Heavenly Checklist ...see Post #36.) I have seen 179,856 specific answers to prayer since December 13, 1980 that I've written into my prayer journals. I figured that there was no way I could take care of the world and battle spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenlies, so I might as well bring in my Big Brother, Jesus, to do it for me, considering He is omnipotent, omnitient, and omnipresent and promised to grant my heart's desires as I delight in Him. Soooo...
Got requests?

#206: Saints Peter and Bob

This morning I had a momentary questioning period of my own theology...can you believe that?!! Well, I found the text that pretty much confirmed what I've been saying for years, written by a first century redneck fisherman named Peter. Fortunately, I can in good conscience say that this is not a pretext looking for a text out of context, as often happens in some of the exhorting I do.

My belief, a Bob-ism (officially #24 as of this moment) that has slipped through the cracks somehow up to now, is that self-inflicted wounds do not merit a Purple Heart. Too many Christians are whining and complaining about their difficulties when, in fact, they themselves are the root cause of the problem. Now, I'm willing to help folks as somewhat of a Cynical Samaritan, but I won't pat them on the head and let them fall into the "I'm a victim...eeeuuuuwww" syndrome once they hit my counseling realm if I spot that the problem is their own sin, past and/or present. I actually thought I was being a bit hard hearted (even in light of my knowledge of the whole book of James), but then good old Peter bailed me out with his similar admonition in 1 Peter 4:14-17, a passage specifically designed to comfort and admonish the saints, "If you are reviled for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. By no means let any of you suffer as a murderer, or thief, or evildoer, or a troublesome meddler; but if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not feel ashamed, but in that name let him glorify God. For it is time for judgment to begin with the household of God; and if it begins with us first, what will be the outcome for those who do not obey the gospel of God?"

It's interesting to me that Pete lumps "troublesome meddler" in with "murderer, thief, and evildoer" much as Paul lumps "disobedient to parents" in with all the other sinners of "major" magnitude in Romans 1: 28-30. Well, where's the encouragement to be found in these lists of bad guys on the loose? Remember that we Saints are merely Aints with the "S" of Christ's Salvation imparted to us and we don't have to shoot ourselves OR whine about it to others, seeing how our will has been freed in Him! OOORAH, OOORAH!!
Got hand claps?

#205: Guy Church

Well, in case you haven't noticed...and judging by attendance, you haven't...guys don't go to church as much as gals. There are even churches out there designed to attract men. Check out the article on this at: http://www.usatoday.com/news/religion/2008-07-23-males-church_N.htm

I'm on the verge of ranting and raving, but I've got my New Mellow stuff playing, so I'll keep this short. Take a look at the first century Church. When the chips were down (no, the buffalo was not empty) and Christ was hanging on the Cross, only the women's auxiliary could be found nearby and one or two men...John specifically...don't know exactly who else. (All the guys had precipitously fled in the Garden of Gesthemane a little earlier.
When God gave Adam his best present...Eve...Satan came at Adam through her, Adam took the bait in a manly man sort of way, and then blamed God for giving him that woman! Face it boys, we've dropped the ball ever since the whistle blew and now Americans are trying to use image to do what the Holy Spirit HAS to do in order to revive the church.

Somewhere on one of my Facebook deals I commented briefly within the last week that about 300,000 soldiers came to faith during the Civil War. Back in the early 19th century, John Adams wrote to his friend, Benjamin Rush, "Why was it that a nation without wars to fight seemed to lose its honor and integrity, Adams pondered in one letter to Rush. 'War necessarily brings with it some virtues, and great and heroic virtues, too,' he wrote. 'What horrid creatures we men are, that we cannot be virtuous without murdering one another?'"

In case you missed it, boys and girls, we're already in a spiritual war...read Ephesians 6:10-20 for the details. 2 Chronicles 7:13-14 lays down the Rules for Revival. The more "bad news" I hear about the state of the USofA, the more I rejoice that the Lord is getting around to answering my 28-year prayer for revival in the Church and awakening among all the peoples of this land. Now if He'd open the eyes of His Kids to the warfare we're already in, I could jot down another answer in my journals.
Got your Scriptures memorized and internalized yet?

Source for quote: McCullough, David. John Adams. Simon and Schuster, New York et al, p. 609.

#204: Favorite Movie Lines

If you're not familiar with these movies, I highly recommend them for your viewing interest. Here are some of my favorite lines from some of my favorite movies:

"3:10 to Yuma": In answer to why he didn't stop the robbers when he talks to the Sheriff, Charlie Prince says, "They were shooting BULLETS!"

"Serenity": When her brother Simon gets shot by Reavers, River Tam tells him how he's always taken care of her. She then stands up, looks fearless, and says, "MY TURN!" and proceeds to kick the crap out of the baddies.

"Firefly" series: Jayne is found out to have betrayed Simon and River. Simon tells him he is safe whenever he's under the Doc's knife. River looks at him when Simon leaves and says, "Also...I can kill you with my brain!"

"Reign of Fire": The Americans are pulling up to the English fort. McCreedy looks down and says in a thick Scottish accent, "The only thing worse than a dragon is an American!"

"Gettysburg": General Longstreet describes the futility of attacking Hancock's center position on the third day of the battle (Pickett's Charge) and concludes the inevitability of failure. "Those are Hancock's boys, they're not going to run away. So it is a mathematical equation."

Speaking of the Third Day...
"Jesus of Nazareth": "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life."
Good stopping point.

#203: Dandelion Theology

This morning I was reading some from the book of Proverbs. Proverbs 12:13 says, "A man is not established by wickedness, but the root of the righteous cannot be moved." I made a marginal note in my Bible "back in the day" that indicates that "It (the root) goes deep like a dandelion." Practically speaking, if you don't get the entire root of the dandelion when you're pulling it, it grows back just as though you weren't even there. My brain ran on to develop some analogies there in the quiet of my living room with a cup of Boca Java "Brew of Bravery" so I thought I'd jot them down here at #203.

Dandelions are considered annoying weeds by the world...ditto for Christians when we get to telling the Truth as it is to disrupt the supposedly serene landscape of the World.
Dandelion leaves make a great spring tonic when picked early, even if slightly bitter in taste with bacon and egg dressing...much as our message is bitter at first but leads to a complete cleansing if ingested into one's being by the work of the Spirit.
Dandelion flowers if left to mature into the white heads will multiply worse than rabbits in no time and fill your neighbor's lawn with the little lovelies...a great picture for our call to make disciples of all nations while we're going down the road of life.
Dandelion flowers make GREAT wine when picked in the prime of life, fermented in a large crock with the other necessary ingredients, and aged once bottled to smooth yet potent tastiness...a variant reading of our being conformed to the Suffering Servant image of the Lord that produces the results He has chosen.

Soooo...I guess the moral of this story is that you should send your roots down deep into the good soil in which you've been planted right where you've been planted and thrive like a dandelion in the Garden, keeping in mind that weeds grow much better than desirable flowers, frequently with prettier flowers among the thistles.
Got living water?

#202: Facebook Bully Pulpit

It occurred to me about 5 or so this morning that the little blurbs people write in the Facebook Profiles every so often would be a great place to drop a word of encouragement to folks who need it; especially your Friends in light of all the Bible's commands to "encourage one another." You never know how you're going to affect somebody's day, so rather than whining or complaining about stuff, why not put a positive spin on the way life is treating you as you wait around to be collected by the Grim Reaper, who, by the way, has that interesting grin on his skeletal face whenever he's depicted in drawings.
I can't decide if that Death's Head Grin (perhaps a possible name for a really strong brew?) is due to the fact that he's supposed to be winning against the pagans or knows he's conducting Christians to a much better location. But regardless of the mythical character's thoughts, I'd be interested to see guys who talk about "getting ready for Sunday's sermons" or the like to actually put a one-line synopsis of the thing in their comment column. I figure, if they can't encapsulate it, they don't really know it, Eh?!
Got a good word or two?

#201: Another Bob-ism

Yep, there I was talking to my old buddy, Doug, whom I've known since my freshman days at Muhlenberg...that would be "back in the day" of 1969! He reminded me that we met through the play, "Becket," and both had minimal-line roles as English Guys of some easily forgotten characteristics. He had a young guy with him as a prospective recruit for Advanced Infantry Training in the Army of Christ here at Camp Cornelius to whom I was pontificating/cracking wise, as I do. I even gave him my "everything a young Christian needs to know" speech. (Tip of the hat to Hub McCann in "Second Hand Lions.")
In the midst of saying something...can't remember which part of the sage loquaciousness it was... I said, "Be faithful and God will be moreso." Dang! Another Bob-ism was born! Once again, proof of my belief that if God can speak to Balaam through a donkey, he can certainly use you and me to convey encouragement and truth to others!
As Beekeeper said as he was dispensing hooch between battles in "The Alamo," "THAT'S ALL!"

#200:Zucchini Feng Shui and Water Melon Rising

I've often said that the day before the Fall Adam was a gardener and the day after the Fall he was a maintenance man. Much of my life as a dirt person is trying to get back to a pre-Fall state of things here at Camp Cornelius while spraying the ever present screeching steel wheels required by the maintenance of the place. Today I was able to rejoice in the Lord's good provisions down at The Garden when I glanced over at it during the usual Friday trash run to dispose of all the leftovers folks leave in plastic bags and other receptacles.

According to my questioning of The Cook, the zucchini has had a perfect combination of feng (wind) and shui (water) so that it's ripe for the picking. It's also going to make a great jigsaw puzzle on Puzzle Bee application of Facebook when I get around to it. The watermelon on the right is "rising" to its finished length in perhaps a week or three. Currently it's about the size of a Nerf football, so definitely has not gotten enough feng shui yet. The good news is that it will be just about the right size to celebrate the homecoming of my young'uns from various places on Earth That Is. (Tip of the hat, as usual, to "Serenity.")

I am reminded of the last verse of Jonah as I contemplate the success my garden is having right now as I listen to...yes, yes...my "Feng Shui" cd, considering this is the first time ever I've planted watermelon, zucchini, and cucumbers; the last of which I need to check when I go pick the zook in several minutes. In any event, Jonah 4:11 says, "And should I not have compassion on Nineveh, the great city in which there are more than 120,000 persons who do not know the difference between their right and left hand, as well as many animals?" These days, in spite of not really knowing what I'm doing with the garden, I know my right hand from my left...the left's the one with the stitched up thumb that's growing back to some semblance of normality.

Noon is just about upon me, my belly's growling, and I've got to go pick some veggies.
Got salad dressing?

#199: Waiting

I heard a statistic back in my college days that you spend 20 years of your life waiting if you live to be 60. I joked with the guy who was also waiting for his girl friend at the time that he and I were upping the average a bit.
Well, what are you awaiting? I know two VERY pregnant women who are waiting to give birth. I know some young folks who are waiting for older folks to quit acting like morons so the younger ones can get on with their lives. I know a couple of old codgers who are waiting for the Grim Reaper to arrive in a chariot of fire to take them to their rooms in the Heavenly Mansions...one believes the painting is yet to be done, obviously, and can't get there to do it himself! (I wonder if they use latex or oil base paint in Heaven?) I'm currently waiting for the nail on my left thumb to grow out to see if it's going to be ok or malformed for the rest of my life...assuming I don't hack at it again with a sledge hammer and/or some sharper object than an aluminum storm door edge.

ALL of you have spent time waiting for your stupid computer to do what you want it to do because you have cheese in it (see Post #105) or your server connection has decided to host a gremlin party and will be temporarily out of service. Or maybe some moron computer geek has decided to work on the website you're trying to access RIGHT AT THE PEAK USE TIME! Some of you just don't know what you're waiting for but are resigned to see what happens, bordering on despair if you have no clear goal or hope in mind.

Let me leave you with Isaiah 40:30-31, something you've no doubt seen inscribed on a poster with some majestic eagle in the Jesus Junk section of any Christian bookstore (hence the screaming eagle that's on one of my tee shirts as today's picture). "Though youths grow weary and tired, And vigorous young men stumble badly, yet those who wait for the LORD will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary."
Got renewed hope?

#198: Foggy Mountain Breakdown

Charles Haddon Spurgeon had an interesting comment in the devotional I use each day called Beside Still Waters, Word of Comfort for the Soul, edited by Roy H. Clarke. (There, the commercial is done...go buy the book!) He writes, "It may be that I am speaking to a sad one who is suffering from mental depression. Some of us are prone to that condition [he was both in the usual course of things, but also in connection with his preaching life and frequent ill health]...if you happen to have been born on a foggy day and swallowed so much fog that you have found it shading your spirit ever since, then you can only be strong by faith." I must say this is an interesting Old Preacher's Tale, if not an Old Wive's Tale, based on the idea that we are one with our world in more ways than we realize...a truth, nevertheless. (Statistics show that full moon causes mental patients to get worse and babies to be born more frequently than any other time of the month, which makes sense, given that they were probably conceived under a full moon, too....AAAOOOOOO...WEREWOLVES OF LONDON!)

My version of Charlie's Theorem would be that you spent the first nine months of your existence in a custom made environment with the precise dna-combination the Lord engineered only for YOU, were suddenly forcibly ejected by someone who claimed she loves you, were probably slapped by a complete stranger to get you to breathe (some of us came out yellin' and didn't need the encouragement...based on parental first hand testimony!), and now time is killin' you while you're killin' time waiting for the Grim Reaper to come and collect you. Is it any wonder you get down every once in a while, even if you were born on a sunny day with perfect breezes blowing and the Feng Shui of your birth place was in perfect harmony with everything in the immediate vicinity?!!

I've occasionally thought about John 3:5, "Jesus answered, 'Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.'" Well, we're all "born of water"...you know, "her water broke" is the kickoff sign that the little bundle of joy is about to shuffle onto this mortal coil! So, getting "born of the Spirit" is the REAL key to entering the Gates of Heaven when the Grim Reaper drops you off on the other side of this vale of tears and is the REALLY Good News (euangelion, for you Greek scholars who speak of The Gospel). Soooo...if, Christian, as Charlie Haddon said, you're bummed out, singin' the Blues, and/or are walking through one of the valleys of life, perhaps another quote of his might put things in perspective: "Had any other condition been better for you that the one in which you find yourself, divine love would have place you there."
Now, on the off chance that you're reading this and haven't been born of the Spirit ("born again" in our current lingo)...got good reason for not asking Him into your life?

#197: Tell Tale Verses

I just finished reading John Adams by David McCullough Sunday and thought that you can tell a lot about a person by the things he concludes are important; especially those that have been written down in the past. Adams wrote to his granddaughter, "'You are not singular in your suspicions that you know but little,' he had told Caroline, in response to her quandary over the riddles of life. 'The longer I live, the more I read, the more patiently I think, and the more anxiously I inquire, the less I seem to know....Do justly. Love mercy. Walk humbly. This is enough....So questions and so answers your affectionate grandfather.'"
That six word summary/instruction for life is a shortened quote of Micah 6:8, "He has told you, O man, what is good; And what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?" McCullough sums up Adams' life with this: "His faith in God and the hereafter remained unshaken. His fundamental creed, he had reduced to a single sentence: 'He who loves the Workman and his work, and does what he can to preserve and improve it, shall be accepted of Him.'"

I think I have to agree with Mr. Adams. I think I'll add Matthew 6: 33, 34 to the mix for some good day to day advice to my granddaughters and anyone else willing to listen: "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious for tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Consider asking your friends what their favorite verses might be and jot their names in the margin of your Bible next to those passages for future reference and prayer reminders! I've been doing it for 28 years and have never regretted it.
Got one for me to put down?

#196: Bull Run and Monkey Trial

July 21, 1861 and July 21, 1925 were turning points in American history. During the Civil War, the first major battle of the War occurred when the Union attacked at the Battle of Bull Run (called Manassas by the South) and lost the battle because they broke the Christian Sabbath, said General Oliver O. Howard and others after the debacle. This statement was the catalyst for my research on God Caused the Civil War and turns out to be statistically pretty accurate, as I've cited in various posts on this blog, not only in Civil War history, but in world history as well. (Posts #14, 83, 110, 171, & 175 to be precise.) The Battle of Bull Run also bestowed the name Stonewall on General Thomas Jackson and was part of his mystique not only during the War, but down through history as his story is frequently retold.
Bull Run was also a good example that overconfidence as a result of an initial victory can be a serious downfall in the long run...as occurred to the Confederacy during the War. All sorts of Southern writers and diarists of the time pointed to the fact that the outstanding initial victory might not be such a boon to the South as time went on specifically because it inflated the pride of Southerners which led them to the conflict in the first place, they wrote.

Sixty-four years later, the Scopes Monkey Trial was decided against the defendant on July 21, 1925, but the decision was later dismissed in a higher court on a technical mistake. Even though the trial was over the right of Scopes to teach evolution instead of creationism, the larger picture was one in which the truth of Scripture was put on trial, was ineptly defended by Christian orator and former politician William Jennings Bryan, and was denigrated by skeptic Clarence Darrow. Just as he had done in the Garden of Eden, Satan attacked God's Word in the 20th century quite successfully...at least for a time. His first major victory against mankind's representatives, Adam and Eve, was a seeming coup d'etat and victory for Beelzebub, but the Heavenly War isn't over yet and the outcome is clearly assured as the One with the bruised heel, Jesus, ends up bruising Old Nick's HEAD and casts him in the lake of fire with his other fallen angels and the lost.

Hmmmm...maybe the fact that I've gotten my butt kicked in initial battles both in life and computer games is a good thing! Sort of bears out Romans 8:28ff as many folks so glibly say.
Got thoughts on the matter?

#195: A Different Beer Theology

Back in the day when I actually watched TV at home (prior to December, 1996), there were beer commercials for Old Milwaukee that had people doing different things while drinking Old Milwaukee beer. One involved boiling shrimp, shooting the breeze, and drinking, with the closing line (the theology of the commercial), "It doesn't get any better than this!"

Think about it for a minute...crustaceans, b.s., and beer as the high point of life?!! Makes me want to go get the 12-gauge off the gun rack in my beat up Chevy pickup (to continue the theme of the commercial) and blow my brains out if, as Judy Collins used to sing, "that's all there is." Now, granted, Old Milwaukee was hawking their product and didn't really want you to think about anything other than your thirst, but they were also presenting a rather effective case for the theology of the Sadducees who said, in essence, when you're dead, you're dead. Or, to put it into a movie dialog, it was one Tennessean's view at the Alamo the night before the last attack, "When you're dead, you're food for the worms...nothing more."

An entire genre of literature known as Existentialism has this beer commercial mentality at its heart; a heart which Jeremiah the prophet said was deceitful and desperately wicked long before the Existentialists were around.

Maybe some Christians involved with the advertising business should put their heads together and depict the Marriage Feast of the Lamb and its eternal Master of Ceremonies in such a way that it's not hokey or trite Christian bumper sticker theology but an event that will whet the appetites of the unquickened Elect out there with the ABSOLUTE TRUTH that, when you're there, "It DOESN'T get any better than this!!"
Got reservations made yet?

#194: Beer Theology

About 25 years ago, an 80-something saint who was one of the most godly women I've had the pleasure to meet asked me if she drank a glass of beer, could she lose her salvation? Fortunately, I didn't laugh in her face or rant and rave like some predestination-passage-quoting maniac at the ill-conceived notion, but showed her Romans 8:38-39, "For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." She had been taught by men who said that Jesus won't throw you out of His hand, and Satan can't snatch you from His hand, but you have the free-will choice to jump out of his hand... a theology know as Arminianism that directly opposes Calvinism...and, by the way is PURE BULL CHIPS!!!!!!!!! (Sorry, I'm ranting.)

I went on to explain that her "free will" is part of the category "any other created thing" because she, in fact, was created, so her will must be, too. (A simple logic argument from the greater to the lesser.) I also suggested from several other Scriptures that we Christians don't have "free" will but a "freed" will so we don't HAVE to sin anymore as we did while "dead in our trespasses and sins" (Eph. 2:1). The problem is that we choose to sin..."I CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (Phil. 4:13) but I WON'T do all things through Him necessarily.

Well, before I get too cranked up and pontificate for six hours like Paul did so that Eutychus fell out the window (Acts 20:9-12), I'll just give you some of the words from "You Have Broken the Chains" by Jamie Owens-Collins that I've got crankin' at the moment, reminding those of you with addictive personalities NOT to drink beer, wine or liquor if you can't handle it:

You have broken the chains
That held our captive souls
You have broken the chains
And used them on Your foes.
All Your enemies are bound
They tremble at the sound of Your name
Jesus, You have broken the chains.

Got beverage of choice for a glorious toast to the Living and True God?!!

#193: Biblical Cheat Code

The fact that you're reading this indicates that you're one of the millions on Earth That Was (tip of the hat to "Firefly" and the hope that the producers will bring it back) who use computers. That means you could be one of the fewer millions who play various and sundry computer games that actually have "cheat codes" that allow you to win by going around the rules of engagement laid down by the game itself. I'm guessing that the designers figured they'd cut you some slack so you'd continue playing their games and in time figure out you wanted to buy MORE of their games to keep them capitalistically content and you feeding your addictive personality!! ;)

So far, the only time I've had to resort to using a cheat code...or even learned of them, for that matter...was in one of the campaign games of Heroes of Might and Magic IV. I kept doing everything the scenario told me to, even found the exact location where the dragon scale armor was located so I could defeat the black dragons (a Biblical principle explained in Post #191 based on Psalm 91:13KJV), but when I got there, an empty hex was all that existed. (Hmmm...an empty hex, I believe there's a Pennsylvania Dutch Principle there!) Well, when I explained this to a buddy, he said I could go to M & M's website and get cheat codes, so I did, beat the scenario, and then went on to a mostly glorious victory in the campaign by the usual methods required by the rules. I could go on and on...imagine that!...about the ethics of cheat codes, but this morning's 3:15am epiphany went in another direction.

It turns out that the battlefield of life is stacked against you and you're going to have to resort to the Biblical Cheat Code if you haven't already in the providence of God. Look at the evidence (and show it to your friends and enemies, if you will...refer to Matthew 28:19-20 on this one):
"There is no one who does good." (Psalm 14:1)
"You believe that God is one. You do well; the demons also believe, and shudder." (James 2:19)
"All have turned aside, together they have become useless; There is none who does good, There is not even one." (Romans 3:16 in case you missed Psalms)
"For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles in one point, he has become guilty of all." (James 2:10)
"Jesus answered, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God." (John 3:5)

So, what's the Biblical Cheat Code that was explained to a jailer "back in the day?" (That would be the first century Anno Domini.)
"And he called for lights and rushed in and, trembling with fear, he fell down before Paul and Silas, and after he brought them out, he said, 'Sirs, what must I do to be saved?' And they said, 'Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you shall be saved, you and your household.' (Acts 16:29-31)
Got questions on how to "type in" the code that cheats eternal death? Gimme a yell!

#192: Roller Coaster Saints and Guardian Angels

Last night, Granddaughter Archangel and Elfson qualified to ride motorcycles for their mountain top experience for then and there. Prior to their leaving, I asked for the angel guardians that kept The Cook safe at Hershey Park to step up and hold up the young'uns and we got confirmation of another answer AFTER Cook and I saw the computer geek in "The Italian Job" drop his cycle in one scene.

The Roller Coaster Connection here is what I've called The Matthew 17/Elijah Principle for the last 25 years or so. In the Old Testament, Elijah has a "mountain top experience"...literally in his case... when he beats up on 450 Baal prophets in 1 Kings 18. The next thing he does is runs to the far end of Israel when one woman, Jezebel, threatens his life. He also gets suicidal in the process. In Matthew 17, three disciples are on the Mount of Transfiguration with Jesus and get to hear God's voice proclaiming Christ's Sonship and then the next thing they're confronted with is a demon possessed boy that only Jesus can heal...bummer for them, glory for Him, as it should be.

Well, the application of this exegesis...what it means for you, Christian...is that you should EXPECT this roller coaster phenomenon of mountain top-to-valley-of- the-demon-possessed- boy as the NORM of your walk for the rest of your days and then you won't get thrown all out of whack when it happens! This is NOT to suggest that you should seek mediocrity and anonymity in your faith walk, but should remember that you're firmly held in the Hand of the One whose Name makes Satan and his minions TREMBLE!! When folks ask about you as the little kid did at the end of "Second Hand Lions," "Did those men in great-grandfather's stories really live?" the answer will be, "Yes, they REALLY LIVED!!"
Got Spirit?!!

#191: Roller Coaster Jesus

This morning I was musing on Psalm 139 while munching a nanny and awaiting Boca Java's Brew of Bravery perking in the old coffee pot and had another epiphany. In verse 5 it says, "You have enclosed me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me." In the New International Version, it says, "You hem me in-- behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me."

Well, that gave me a picture of how the steel and plastic harness clamps down on you when you're on some of the high-powered new rides that are FAR AND AWAY safer than driving in your automobile. Imagine having Jesus' omnipotent hand wrapped firmly around you on this roller coaster ride of life...the track of which is already written in His book as verse 16 says...and you can get a glimpse of the divine reality in which you find yourself, if you, in fact know Him as your Savior and Lord. I dissipated one of my young'un's fear of the speed of roller coasters the day we went to Hershey Park by explaining that you have to become one with the ride and see yourself as one of the archangels of "Reign of Fire" after they jump out of the helicopter to take down the dragon. Well, first of all, if you haven't seen the movie...see it and then get back to this post! Secondly, remember that, as a Christian, part of your job description is to TAKE DOWN THE DRAGON who conned Adam and Eve into this fallen roller coaster of life in the first place "back in the day" of Edenic lunchtime fruit salad.

How can I get you to see your unbelievably privileged and protected position except to quote Isaiah 41:10, "Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."
Got the point?

#190: Bastille Day

A guy I know only because I adopted him maybe 20 years ago as a missionary who is now in Paris mentions the Bastille Day Parade on Facebook and reminds me that back in 1789 during the French Revolution the hated symbol of French monarchical oppression was stormed and a handful of prisoners were released. The bloodbath that followed is a well-documented example of what happens when man's total depravity is let loose in the name of "liberty and freedom" or any other line of hooey we dream up. (Hitler said his "reforms" were "for the children" of Germany in the 1930s...funny that Liberals in the US of A these days use similar phrases to those of the National Socialists back then.)

Anyway...I'm simultaneously reading John Adams (about 3/4 done) and just started The Journals of Lewis and Clark yesterday so I'm getting an interesting perspective on Mssrs Adams and Jefferson and how they affected America and the world. The editor of the Journals says the Louisiana Purchase was one of the most important events in world history because it propelled America into what we eventually have become. It's interesting to me that the movie "The Rock" has General Hummel justifying his terroristic activity with Jefferson's phrase, "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." Turns out Old Tom was a two-faced Machiavellian who was more than willing to shed other people's blood on behalf of his revolutionary, deistic, transcendental (read "secular humanist" when you cut through the spiritual smoke they wrote) ideas, once you read the story of how he got the Purchase as President and also how he dealt with people throughout his political career.

It was an interesting twist of Daniel 2:21, "And it is He who changes the times and the epochs; He removes kings and establishes kings; He gives wisdom to wise men, And knowledge to men of understanding," that Adams and Jefferson died the same day...July 4, 1826. George Whitfield once said, "You're immortal until your work is done." Well, you're immortal even after your work on earth is done...it's just a matter of where you're locating your residence for eternity after shuffling off this mortal coil which is the really significant "land purchase" that's been done or not for you.

Got room in the Heavenly Mansion? That reminds me...I gotta go paint the Dorm.

#189: Bacon and Egg Theology

The Cook promised omelets for breakfast when we were discussing today last night, so at about 5am this morning I had another one of my epiphanies as I often do. Decades ago I heard an illustration about commitment to a cause in light of chickens and pigs, that I'll reinterpret a bit as I am wont to do. When it comes to a breakfast of bacon and eggs, a chicken is willing to "lay an egg" or two that might be embarrassing and sacrifices its children, but a pig gives his life for the meal! Right at this moment, Queen is cranked on my music box with the song, "I Want It All." Howcome we aint never heard this tune at missions conferences where English is the native tongue?!! (OK, the source of the song would cause most folks to freak out.) These guys, in their own totally depraved, fallen way have reflected a Biblical truth about the Living and True God Himself without even realizing it and the Lord's just been waiting for me to clue you in in His own good time!

When Jesus called the disciples He didn't mess around with "seeker services," missions conferences, or any other Christian doo-dahs. He simply looked at His boys and said, "Follow Me!" And He wasn't messin' around with half-hearted egg-laying! He wanted Whole Hog Commitment and He wanted It All...and Now. Check out these lyrics from a God-ward point of view with my chosen bit of editing:

Listen all you people, come gather round
I got...me a game plan, gotta shake you to the ground
Just give me what I know is mine...
I´m a man with a one track mind,
So much to do in one life time (people do you hear me)
Not a man for compromise and where´s and why´s and living lies
So I´m living it all, yes I´m living it all,
And I´m giving it all, and I´m giving it all...

Can you say Sermon on the Mount with a proclamation of Messianic Intention stressing His Sovereignty and Sacrificial Propitiation? NO? How about "I WANT IT ALL AND I WANT IT NOW?!!"

Source of lyrics: [http://www.mp3lyrics.org/q/queen/i-want-it-all/]

#188: Proverbs and Then Some

I'm down in the bowels of the Big House enjoying some of the vacation time I've got left over from this past fiscal year. The problem is, as my long time friend Fr. Stephen's post of June 30th says [http://frstephenlourie.blogspot.com/], work is a good thing for which we were designed, so it rubs my grain a bit to not be doing some of the stuff around here that is crying out for attention. I DO, however, have the side of me that says I've got the chance to rest and relax, and even Jesus took a break occasionally, so maybe I'd better just do it.

The good news is that I can check out folks on Facebook, look over different blog sites to see what's cooking in people's minds, and even do a little pontificating on my own in a self-indulgent sort of way. When all is said and done, the bottom line is Proverbs 1:7, "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; Fools despise wisdom and instruction." One "scheme of the devil that comes at you from behind" as the old Puritans used to say is Christian busy-ness. I've seen so many folks recently working themselves into a near-frenzy "doing ministry"...a phrase I'm not too thrilled with because it's a justification on one hand for people to justify their workaholic sin nature and on the other hand for fellow Christians to work them to death in what amounts to a big time guilt trip. Sometimes I think I see the Lord sitting on His throne drumming his fingers with his head resting on his other fist wondering just when His sheep are going to wise up. But, hey, that's the way my mind works.

Guess I'll wrap for now. Take five minutes to simply sit in front of the Lord to see what He might show you...but turn your cell phone off first!
Got that?

#187: Cornsilk and Banana Strings

Yessiree, Bob...today's oddball thoughts came from peeling a banana for breakfast to go with a red beet egg, coffee, juice, and my requisite Old Guy drugs and vitamin. While standing there munching on the tasty nanny, I thought, "What good are corn silk...an annoyance when shucking corn for a steak-and-on-the-cob dinner...and banana "strings" which have to be pulled off along with the skin?"

Captain Google, one of my alternate egos, learned that corn silk (called Zea mays) can be made into an herbal tea by pouring boiling water over it, letting it steep for 5 minutes, draining, then drinking. The list of things it apparently helps includes: it is a diuretic, helps bladder and kidney problems, water retention and obesity, prostate disorders, bed-wetting, reduces likelihood of kidney stones, PMS, clears boils, and carpal tunnel syndrome. Clearly, with the exception of the last two, it helps the human plumbing system and things connected with it.

Now, those banana "strings" are, according to Chiquita Banana's website, "called Phloem Bundles (pronounced flom). They are part of the system that carries nutrition to all parts of the banana." One thing wrong in this definition..."phloem" is pronounced "flow-em" (I knew that and Dictionary.com backed up my knowledge!!) and are related to xylem of the vegetable team you learned about in 10th grade biology...xylem and phloem. They are the pipeline of nutrients the Lord designed into all sorts of veggies that get stuck in your teeth, like the "strings" of celery. In Bob-bonics (one way to use mnemonics to remember stuff): Xy...lem tings make de good stuff phlo-em up de plant what needs um, Eh?!

Well, I hear the call of walls wanting to be painted and buildings wanting to be opened. It's my Feng Shui Day beginning... Hmmm...that gives a different twist to "In the Beginning..." where the Lord was doing some MAJOR Feng Shui arranging to "make it good"...including corn silk and banana strings!
Got Young Earth praise and worship service?

#186: Cogito Ergo Sum et Blog Ad Nauseum

Didja ever have some stray thought come flying into your head from outta the blue? Well, this morning "cogito ergo sum" hit me while I was in the midst of my inner room readings. I just Googled the phrase and it means "I think, therefore I am." Old Rene Descartes came up with this idea to prove that the guy thinking it must exist because he was thinking! I've added the tail end of the title as the logical extension of this thought as well as a commentary on this and every other blog site that exists, showing that not only am I alive, but you must be, too, because you're reading this! Gee, a July 9 two-fer-the-price-of-one deal!!

Now, this thought occurred while I was reading an interesting bit of Old Guy advice from some Scot in the 1820s to a guy named Alexander Duff on the subject of marriage in today's entry in One Year Book of Christian History. Here's what that Old Guy said to Duff, "Well...my advice to you is, be quietly on the look-out [for a wife]; and if, in God's providence, you make the acquaintance of one of the daughters of Zion, traversing like yourself, the wilderness of this world, her face set thitherward, get into friendly converse with her. If you find that in mind, in heart, in temper and disposition, you congenialise, and if God puts it into her heart to be willing to forsake father and mother and cast in her lot with you, regard it as a token from the God of providence that you should use the proper means to secure her Christian society."

I think the Old Guy had a good point for Christian singles (both male and female) of this day and age who are weeping, wailing, and gnashing their teeth over their marital future; especially considering that I've prayed Matthew 6:33, 34 for them as a group since 8/3/88. That would be, "keep them seeking You, then pair up the ones who need each other, Lord!"

Cogito ergo sum content in whatever circumstances?

#185: Internet Rules of Engagement

Any moron who tries to get on the Internet to do much of anything between noon and 1pm Daylight or Eastern Standard Time should have his head examined.
The question is, "How Dumb Can I Be?"
The answer is, "What's the Highest Number on the scale?...I aim for excellence in everything!"
I'm off to some Civil War Generals 2 on my own little plastic and glass world.
Got nervous breakdown from waiting?

#184: July 8

Back in the day of 1741 on this very day, Jonathan Edwards read (pronounced "red") a sermon to a group of folks in Enfield, Connecticut. (Preaching style was quite different then, I suppose.) It's title was "Sinners In the Hands of an Angry God" and was part of the Great Awakening going on at the time. (Why can't Christians just have an Awakening? Why always include superlative adjectives? Hmmm.) If you don't know the text, one that is quite good, actually, click on this particular site: http://www.cs.indiana.edu/~port/teach/relg/sinners.short.htm

Back in the day of 2004 on this very day, I got an email that had some interesting material in it by Robert Reich (yep, spelled the same way as Hitler's Third...by the way, Hitler founded National Socialism, not National Right-Wingism in Germany!!). The email included a quote from a magazine called American Prospect. Reich wrote, "The great conflict of the 21st century will not be between the West and terrorism. Terrorism is a tactic, not a belief. The true battle will be between modern civilization and anti-modernists; between those who believe in the primacy of the individual and those who believe that human beings owe their allegiance and identity to a higher authority; between those who give priority to life in this world and those who believe that human life is mere preparation for an existence beyond life; between those who believe in science, reason, and logic and those who believe that truth is revealed through Scripture and religious dogma. Terrorism will disrupt and destroy lives. But terrorism itself is not the greatest danger we face."
The email went on to say that you could read more in Reich's book, Reason: Why Liberals Will Win the Battle for America. If you want to read the whole article, click on the url that leads to "The Last Word: Bush's God": http://www.robertreich.org/reich/20040701.asp

Wonder what will crop up in the religious news today? Do ya think maybe God's still angry?!

#183: Much Ado About Nothing

I love debunking a debunker. Last night we of the Havens Remnant had a lovely outing to Chick fil-A and the Mall, wherein The Cook got a book (heck, that could be a Dr. Bob Seuss title, I think) entitled Stupid History: Tales of Stupidity, Strangeness, and Mythconceptions Throughout the Ages, by Leland Gregory. This is a small paperback that tells us "TRUTH" completely without references of any sort about stuff like George Washington didn't really sling a silver dollar across the Potomac because it's a half mile wide and the coin didn't exist until G.W. was almost dead and Lizzy Borden was acquitted by the jury in her ax-murder case, among others...a bit of paperback blogosphere, if you ask me...you did, didn't you?!! ;)
Well, one statement on page 6 deflates this particular hot air balloon for me: "Horseshoe crabs are not crabs. They are survivors of a species that became extinct 175 million years ago. Their closest modern relatives are scorpions and spiders." NOW...if they became EXTINCT, how in the name of my Great Aunt Lizzie's hair bun are they "SURVIVORS?!!" Perhaps during The Flood, only about 5,600 years ago according to my Young Earth reckoning, the horseshoe crab just kinda waited for the waters to recede as Genesis 9 says happened (the recession, that is) and fiddled about after that to continue its species. Maybe Stupid History II should be written with the notation that even the writing of stupid history can be mistaken in its writing!

What I want to know is, if humans get "crabby" when they're in a bad mood, do crabs get "humany" when they get in a bad mood...and can they get "in a mood" in the first place? Likewise, why do we park on "driveways" and drive on "parkways?" (Tip of the hat to lots of comedians on this one.) Why are Lepidoptera called butterflies instead of flutterbys, considering that's what they do, Darling, that's what they do?! (Double hat-tip to Mort Walker, author of "Hi and Lois" and Malcolm Reynolds of "Serenity.")

OH, and just for the record for any of you newbies...My great aunt Lizzie Eagle really DID have a hair bun! Like my do-rag and nose-candy look? Double click the photo if you want a better look. Got guts so to do?

#182: Not Much to Say

The title pretty much says it for the moment.
"The Lord is in His holy temple, let all the earth keep silent." (Habbakuk 2:20)
Hmmm...Galatians 2:20 says, "I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me, and delivered Himself up for me."
Here endeth the reading for the day.
Enjoy the sun-on-the-cloud photo.

#181: Paths

Did you ever have "one of those days?" This Fourth of July started out like that, but then I remembered Proverbs 16:9, "The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps." Well, this morning's steps eventually got me to the place where I got the shower soap dish and kitchen sink caulked the way I wanted...a Psalm 37:4 prayer answer, actually...but it took winding around through several crappy tubes of caulk, a couple of trips to/from the Grey Havens and the Big House, messing around with umbrellas as it spritzed rain, and the necessary cleanup. Simply putting away light bulbs turned into a closet cleaning/rearranging gig, so 2.5 hours of this day are behind me.

The GOOD news is that I actually got to where I was going and found another good quote written into the margin of my Charles Spurgeon book, Beside Still Waters. C.T. Studd once wrote, "Some men wish to live within the sound of church and chapel bell. I wish to run a rescue shop within a yard of Hell." I added my thought, "Each year of spiritual maturity moves The Shop closer to Hell's doorway; 'and the gates of Hell SHALL NOT prevail!'" Guess I'll have to side step outta here to Facebook and post these as a coupla more "Favorite Sayings"...and check on how my Market Place upgrade in the game Knighthood is going! ;)

OH...the THIRTY-THIRD viewing of "Gettysburg" last night after some spicy wings and a Yingling at Fatty's was as emotionally satisfying as the first 32! Ya gotta love the ending when the Chamberlain brothers hug each other with that great soundtrack playing in the background. Just to have survived that battle was amazing. I guess all the folks walking around with mp3 players plugged into their heads these days are just trying to achieve life with background music, hunh?! Guess it beats the 5-transistor radios we used to tote in the 60s! My "Feng Shui" album right now is kinda nice, now that I think of it. "Gettysburg" and "Gods and Generals" are in the cd pipeline. Well, Proverbs 25:25 says, "Like cold water to a weary soul, So is good news from a distant land," so I'm gonna go check out the world a bit to see what the Lord is up to today ...paths that might wind around a bit, Eh?!

#180: Gettysburg and Watermelon Henge

OK...so it's an odd combination. Why not?!! As usual, I'm listening to the soundtrack of "Gettysburg" on this the 145th anniversary of the third day of the battle when Generals George Pickett and Johnson Pettigrew marched 15,000 Confederate troops against a highly fortified position at the behest of General Robert E. Lee, much as the Union had done at Fredericksburg where Great Grand Pappy fought. Just for the record, as far as anyone can tell, 50% of those brave Southerners ended up casualties, including Ted Turner as a colonel at the rail fence by the Emmitsburg Road in the movie version! If we watch the movie tonight or this weekend, it'll be the 33rd viewing!

Now, the left photo shows how well Watermelon Henge is growing. So, what's so odd about the connection? There was the Wheat Field and Peach Orchard battles and fighting all around Trostle's Farm at Gettysburg. Why shouldn't Watermelon Henge be the sight of the Battle in my post-Reformation, Van Tillian, Zen Buddhist Feng Shui sort of Tao while I'm getting it to grow with some judicious watering...like the troops watered themselves at Spangler's Spring at Gettysburg?!! The KJV calls us "God's peculiar people" in some text that's slipped my memory. I figure I'm just living up to the nomenclature!

When you run out of things to say, go to work!

#179: Gettysburg, Day 2

Today is the 145th Anniversary of the Battle of Gettysburg that began on July 1. (I was just too busy to post yesterday, so I didn't comment on it.) Today's portion of the Battle took place in the Wheat Field, Peach Orchard, and Devil's Den and further depleted Lee's human resources without gaining any ground of significance.
The interesting tidbit about this portion of the battlefield is that the area around the Trostle Farm had been used in the 1840s and 50s to host campground meetings where Evangelicals preached the gospel to those who gathered. I wonder how many folks who were told to "prepare to meet your God" at the camp meetings actually DID on that part of the battlefield, like General William Barksdale of Mississippi who was mortally wounded as this account tells, "Late that evening a detail from the 14th Vermont Infantry discovered Barksdale and carried him to a Union hospital where his wounds were pronounced mortal. 'I have never regretted the steps I have taken,' he told one of his rescuers. 'I do not regret my steps now, although it is hard to leave friends, wife and children. I do not regret giving my life in a cause that I believe to be right. May God watch over and care for my dear wife, and oh, my boys...may God be a father to them.'" (1)
Wonder how his last prayer was answered?

Source: National Park Service U.S. Department of the Interior, “Gettysburg”. [http://www.nps.gov/ gett/getttour/tstops/tstd2‑14.htm] [cited 10/1/04]