While checking out things regarding snow that might be in my work future, I came on an article on Yahoo News entitled, "British study shows big coffee drinkers hallucinate more." Seven cups a day seems to be the trigger. My question is, "Seven 4oz cups or seven 20 ouncers?" OH, and they actually hear voices as a result...probably their bladders screaming, "EMPTY ME!!!!" ;pThe Brit researchers think the caffeine has something to do with it...be forewarned you choco-holics reading this...that comfort food you ingest in huge quantities might just be bringing on those voices in your head. Or, it could be a hidden transmitter your dentist implanted in your last filling projecting a subliminal message so your teeth rot and he gets your business!! (For other uses of transmitters in teeth, check out the 1985 classic "Real Genius" with Val Kilmer; especially the old voice-of-God-in-your-head deal!!)
OH, the disclaimer of sorts is that there is no distinct causal link between caffeine and hallucination voices because "3% of people regularly hear voices in their heads." Now...is this 3% of Brits, 3% of the human race, or 3% of coffee drinkers?!! Think about it, if it's stat #2, that means there are 180 million people hearing voices that the rest of us don't. Britain's only got 60,943,912 people (July 2008 est.) according to my first Google, so we Americans should definitely pick up the slack and bail them out of their shortage, I think; especially after January 20th when we'll all be hearing different voices in our heads.
Oh, yeah, I like the fact that they conclude the article with the idea that food and mood are connected. Like, DUH! Frankly, I think these voice-hearers are demon possessed like the Gerasene guy who had Legion in him until Jesus sent them out for a ham dinner over the cliff.
Got metaphysical gravy and potatoes?
No comments:
Post a Comment