3:8, #502: Ex Post Facto Bucket List and Corrections

Lookit this...here it is the end of the year and I've already messed up since December 13th...the REAL beginning of my Posting Year!! I was getting ready to post some stuff in my life that would make a good Ex Post Facto Bucket List since they're already done and I wondered when Year 3 began...Duh...7 posts ago on the 13th of December!! Well, now that that brain fart has passed...

My Bucket List...things I want to do before I kick the bucket...is really open ended these days. I'm pretty much content to take what's coming my way and not make plans...that's one way not to be disappointed. Of course, the Foreward Lookers Society types would say 'if you don't aim at anything, you're bound to hit it, but phooey on them! That being said, here are some of the things I've done in life already:
1. Sung the bass line of some Christian hymns in the lobby of the King David Hotel in Jerusalem.
2. Street preached in Amsterdam.
3. Collected baseball cards, told my Mom to throw them away. Collected more...gave them to a friend's grandson.
4. Collected autographs of 800+ athletes and learned without documentation they're worthless except for the fun of collecting them.
5. Gotten 24 stitches in me over the years from self inflicted stupidity or clumsiness.
6. Gotten stung 24 times with resultant nerve damage.
7. Read through the Bible 21 times so far, with comprehension for the most part...Revelation's still sketchy other than that Jesus Wins!!
8. Watched at least 1,224 different movies, some as many as 28 or 33 times and counting.
9. Wrote God Caused the Civil War and had 71 publishers reject it.
10. Gave folks some different perspectives and made them think and/or laugh with Self Indulgent B.S. and my Facebook Postings.
Got life history?

Guess I'll make some numbering changes in my posts...

2:197, #501: More Twelve Days Stuff [3:7]

I've been asking questions about the Twelve Days of Christmas on my Facebook slot as they occur and thought about writing more down here, so here goes...Oh, if you're interested in the religious significance of the Twelve Days, I addressed it in Post #292 "Twelve Days of Christmas" from November 29, 2008. Anyway, here's the 'low road' of humor to which I referred...Oh, Segue #2... the 'low road/high road' of the song, 'Loch Lomond' which happens to be playing on my computer right now is addressed in Post 2:176, #480, "Scottish Sexton" from October 9, 2009.
NOW that my A.D.D. moments have subsided...
Didja ever figure out what the lucky guy had at the end of the Twelve Days? Twelve pear trees... hopefully balled and burlapped so he could start his own fruit farm. Twelve partridges (would that be a Partridge Family?), 22 turtle doves, 30 French hens, 36 calling birds (did they use cell phones? Have a family plan? All talk at the same time?), 42 geese and 42 swans...do you know how NOISY THAT would be?!! I'm wondering if this guy had a lot of acreage out in the boondocks with at least one lake so his made-to-order poultry farm could thrive?!
And just what did he do with the 40 milkmaids (not to mention the 40 cows or goats that went with them so they were 'a-milking'), 36 dancing ladies, 30 leaping lords (were they leaping over the cow patties, duck squats and goose poop?), 22 pipers, and 12 drummers? One hundred and forty people now on his payroll needed food, clothing, shelter, and a viable IRA plan, didn't they? I'm guessing the pipers and drummers organized into some Highland Band and had the dancing ladies and leaping lords as part of the entourage, went on tour, and helped finance the Lucky Guy Commune with proceeds from their gigs.
Now, the Five Golden Rings...were they knock-offs from Sauron's One Ring that was designed to 'rule them all and in the darkness bind them?' Just how much were the 40 total worth?
Did Lucky Guy hock them to pay for building materials and or real estate to deal with this generous gift from his true love? Oh, and was it Lucky Guy or Lucky Gal who got the stuff?
One thing, at least, the milk and eggs gotten from a 40-cow herd and 112 laying fowls...assuming the hens, geese, and swans were all female...would have been a start on food supplies for The Community Players. Hmmm, where'd they get the feed for all the different animals? Can you eat partridge, turtle dove, and calling bird eggs? Just exactly what ARE calling birds? Googling 'calling birds' indicated it was originally 'colly birds'...colly meaning coal, which made them blackbirds!! OK, so, would 36 blackbirds get 'baked in a pie' as another tale tells, or would Lucky Guy/Gal be smart enough to cage them up and breed them for future pie making cottage industry? Hey, maybe they could be sent out to gather 'meat' the way the ravens did for Elijah?
Well, I think it's time to wrap this up...we both have other things to do.
Got Twelve Days of Christmas tune in your head?

2:196, #500: Twas The Day After Christmas [3:6]

'Twas the day after Christmas and needless to say,
The Little Lord Jesus still slept on the hay.
Mary and Joe had packed up their ass
To flee into Egypt economy class.

The Magi had left by the 'back door' we're told,
Leaving their gifts...myrrh, frankincense, and gold.
Herrod was pissed 'cause he'd heard all the 'noise,'
He then ordered death for Bethlehem's boys.

'Rachel' was weeping, consoled not was she...
Jeremiah was right with his sad prophecy.
But God's plan moved on like a well scheduled bus,
So Jesus could die years later for us!

Got the message?

2:195, #499: Twas The Day Afore Xmas! [3:5]

'Tis the day before Christmas...I don't have to work. I'm writing on Facebook...so call it a quirk. The stockings are hung by the tv with care, perhaps I'll get products that restore all my hair? The Cook's in the kitchen baking all day. He's already admonished, 'STAY OUTTA MY WAY!' So here I sit in old Machen Hall...may your life be a dandy...Merry Christmas, Y'ALL!! ;p

2:194, #498: Redneck Stuff [3:4]

Jeff Foxworthy has made a career dealing with 'Redneck' stuff. I work outside 12 months a year, so I have a redneck literally under my flannel shirt collar and especially my Rush Limbaugh no neck tee shirt. My contention is that Jesus Himself was at least a theological Redneck (if He really had that long hair the sun would not have gotten to His neck) in that he made black and white, line drawn on the rock on which you should build your house kinda statements like, John 14:6, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but through Me."
In any event, I've been smoking, plowing, and country western/rock and rolling since Saturday, so I've been thinking, too.
If Grandma got run over by a reindeer, would her followers have stolen the body in order to propagate the myth that she's really alright? Would her blue wig attain a status similar to the Shroud of Turin?
Any of you think Jesus was not only a carpenter but also a plumber? Well, here's my proof: Psalm 139 says we are fearfully and wonderfully made. John 1 says Jesus was involved in making everything. Didja ever notice how the blood stream and excretory systems are basically plumbing lines? I rest my case!!
For all you Reformed Theological wizards: If the Abominable Snowman had a verifiable conversion experience that conformed to the Westminster Standards, and given the already-not-yet Kingdom teaching of said Reformers, would he be The Already Not Yeti?!!
Got flannel shirt, cigars, country western music, and joy in the Lord?

2:193, #497: Walkin' On Water & Flair [3:3]

Yessirree, Bob, that's what I was doin' this morning as the snow storm began in our area right around 6:05am. I expect to be walkin' on deeper water as the day progresses, then driving on it in the GMC with snow plow later in the day or maybe even tomorrow, depending on the mood I'm in at any given point.

Right now I've got my "Feng Shui" CD playing, so I'm so mellow I can hardly keep awake! I just did some Facebooking for the last hour...it's amazing that the Live Feed builds up to over 300 if you don't check in for a day...and saw some interesting Flair Pieces.

My favorite right now is, "Growing Old Is Mandatory...Growing Up Is Not!" Can I get a big, "AMEN!" on that?
Then there's "Boys are stupid...throw rocks at them!" The problem with that is, as I've pointed out to my Chinese granddaughters is that the boys will probably think the girls are flirting with them!! And, actually, I'm not sure they'd be too far off!

One of my Bobisms has actually made it to Flair Pieces: "Warning: The light at the end of the tunnel is an onrushing freight train!" Actually, I just checked...I've never officially registered "The Light at the end of the tunnel is attached to a fast moving freight train" as a Bobism...guess I'd better go do that next!
Got snow plow?

2:192, #496: Biblical Numerology [3:2]

OK, OK...don't get beside yourself with the near-occult title. God's in the business of using oddities to get His jobs done...look in the mirror, for instance...so I wondered this morning, since it's 12/15/09, what the 12:15 verses of the Gospels were. Oh, for those of you who are not familiar with my spiritual beginnings, I wondered back in 1980 after conversion, if John 3:16 was 'the greatest verse in the Bible,' what the other 3:16s were like. It turns out there's a crash course in systematic theology contained in them; which I apparently have not mentioned in these indulgences...ooo, can I say that without a lightning bolt from God prompted by Martin Luther coming at me?!!;P...
In any event, John 12:15 says, "Fear not, daughter of Zion; behold, your King is coming, seated on a donkey's colt." Now THAT should have been a bill board outside Bethlehem while Joe and Mary were taking their journey thanks to the census taker's mandates! Of course, most folks would have looked at it, considered the regularity with which donkey's were used, and passed it off as someone with more shekels to spend than sense to know how to spend them.
FYI, back in Indulgence 2:17, #321: "Easy As 1:23" I mentioned the 3:16s to introduce what the 1:23 verses of the New Testament tell us. Interesting stuff, if I do say so myself...and of course you know that I WILL! :P
Got donkey fazoo?

2:191, #495: Two Years To The Day [3:1]

Ah, yes, it was on this very day back in '07 that I began this blog. Four hundred ninety-five postings in 731 days...leap year added one, remember?!! So what's cookin'?
Well I've got boiled lamb on one Facebook burner where a sister has been obsessing about the 'evil Popish observance of Christ-mass' during this particular season...would that be 'seasoned boiled ewe?' Scripture doesn't mandate celebrating Jesus coming to earth and we do it now only because Constantine set it in stone, so to speak, and it just gets her goat (is that possible with a sheep?) that churches all over the land don't see the truth of this matter...guess the Spirit will have to set us straight since apparently aint!!
I'm wondering why we don't have mustard greens for Christmas dinner, giving the big deal green and red have during this 'silly season,' to quote a line from "Lethal Weapon."
Of course, I've got blocks of cheese sitting in the fridge to elevate my bad cholesterol count when I go see Doc Dracula for blood work in January. Of course, I'll simply pop a few more fish pills... hmmm, that might be a sobriquet for annoying Christians...to keep my internal Feng Shui in balance to the Doc's satisfaction.
I wonder if dessert in heaven will be 'pie in the sky?'

2:190, #494: Zen and the Art of Seminary Maintenance

Yeah, I've finally gotten around to reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry Into Values. I'm currently 11 chapters of 32 done and realized that the story line of a motorcycle trip was simply a literary excuse to discuss philosophy and pander to the 60s left over self indulgent b.s. prevalent from the Garden of Eden to today. In other words, it's a book written by Robert M. Pirsig (whose name, interestingly to me, jumbles into Sir Pig) who appears to be someone who 'thinks himself wise yet has become a fool' of whom Paul speaks in Romans 1:18ff.
I'm frankly amazed that back in my college days it was not required reading in either my Philosophy 101 class or in my History of Political Thought class my senior year, given the bent of the two professors who taught me in those days.
The last comment I wrote...I'm an inveterate note writer into the margins of books...was that he seems to be 'catching a glimpse of total total depravity without God intruding into our being with Truth and Light' when he talks of Kant's 18th century ugliness and how it and 'technical' ugliness pervade everything in his university environment that has to do with the philosophy being taught.
Like, DUH!! He's catching up with Paul's analysis 19 centuries late!!
Ok, so how's this relate to seminary maintenance? Well...like...DUH...I just changed one word in the title in order to draw the comparison to the book. But when it comes to values, maintaining a seminary, regardless of how a philosopher would look at the way it should be done, comes down to this simple sentence in Colossians 3:23-24, "Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men; knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve." Oh, and keep in mind the question of Zechariah 4:10, "For who has despised the day of small things?" The details of maintenance are crucial to the 'big picture' that ends up looking good if details are watched carefully to add up to a smoothly running campus.
Well, if you're wondering just what in the name of my great aunt Lizzie's hairbun I'm talking about, remember that this blog is Self Indulgent B.S. written by B.S. hisownself!! ;p
Got convoluted thinking?

2:189, #493: December 7 Stuff

Today was a big day down through history, according to my notes in my copy of One Year Book of Christian History, so here goes:

Obvious to all Americans is that the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor took place today. Interestingly enough, they broke the Sabbath, did NOT destroy the flattops, the oil fields, and keep the U.S. OUT of the war...so chalk them up in the 'loss' column; especially given they're the only nation who have actually had nukes used on them...twice!! (Let's hear it for Missouri Democrat Harry S. Truman!!)

Back on Dec. 7, 518 B.C. God told Israel through Zechariah that He kicked their butts for 70 years because of their disobedience..the Bad News. The Good News was that He was going to restore things in Jerusalem and 'they will be my people, and I will be faithful and just toward them as their God.' (cf Zechariah 7:5-8:8 according to OYBOCH) Providentially enough in the coincidence of God, in 1988 A.D. on December 7, Yassar Arafat recognized the existence of Israel! Mighty nice of him, I'd say!! ;P

In between those two years on December 7...in 374A.D. Ambrose was consecrated Bishop of Rome, in 1785 William Wilberforce was converted through John 'Amazing Grace' Newton and became the driving force to have the slave trade abolished in Britain, and in 1973 the Presbyterian Church in America organized Mission To The World, its overseas outreach.

OH, and in 1965 the Roman Catholic and Greek Orthodox Churches formally kissed and made up after excommunicating each other 900 years earlier...now THAT's how to hold a grudge for a good long while!! Frankly, I don't think they still see eye to eye on a lot of stuff, but that shouldn't surprise anyone reading this, I guess.

Well, there's more to do today than this, so as Mitsuo Fuchida might have sung as he led the bombing raid on The Pearl...Off I go into the wild blue yonder!!
Got parachutes?

2:188, #492: December First Firsts

Three anniversaries came to my attention for today's date, all with fair significance in my onward journey shuffling around on this mortal coil.
Back in 1969...40 years to the day, as Frodo would say...the USofA instituted the draft for the first time since WWII..."The Big One" as Willis Gillis used to say on the Dobie Gillis Show. Just for the record, my Philadelphia draft board number was 362 and I was 1-H college deferred; which is probably a good thing, given my inherently bad sense of direction. I'd probably still be wandering around Southeast Asia if I'd gotten separated from my squad! ;p
Back in 1982 I started reading through the Bible once a year using the Navigators' 'Daily Walk' booklet that takes you through about 9 chapters a day. I did that until I bragged about reading through the Bible once a year when being interviewed to be a ruling elder; which made me think, what good is it if you read it once a year and nothing sinks in?!! So now it takes about 18-22 months to get through at my own pace with comprehension and notes. However, 1Chronicles 1-9 is a blast-through skip over for lack of interest...my seminary prof and friend, Ray Dillard, used to call it 'Scriptural Sominex'...'nuff said.
Lastly, this date in 2006 instituted the first candle light dinner at the Grey Havens just as the meal was set on the table due to some storm activity the Lord provided! My first adopted Chinese American granddaughter joined us simply because she was inquiring weather the power was off all over campus...a bit of a blonde moment for her. This was the start of dinners at The Havens that have continued to include quite an interesting group these last three years. Gee, a storm got John Newton's and Martin Luther's attention and here it was one that started us down the particular path we're treading!
Got perogis and gravy?

2:187, #491: Food For Thoughts

Since we've just passed through Turkey Day, I have some questions:

Were the herd of swine that ran into the lake in Mark 5 the first case of swine flew?
Did the locals fish them out of the water, grind them up and make deviled ham?
Can you actually 'fish' out pigs, or should that be 'pigged out?'
Will there be deviled ham, deviled eggs, or deviled crab at the Marriage Feast of the Lamb in Heaven?
Will dessert be angel food cake?
How'd it get to be called 'deviled' ham or eggs? The answer to this one is from a Googled site: Since Hell is hot, 'hot' can mean spicy, then spicy foods are sometimes called 'deviled.' Apparently this came about in the late 1700s in America.
Since it's now Advent...when Jesus showed up 'in the skin,' for you church-calendar challenged types...I wonder if there will be wassail at The Feast, or will there just be a lot of wine?
Did God invent barley and corn so we could drink Yuengling and eat Fritos?

2:186, #490 Black Friday Ponderings

Gee, here I am actually on a day off!! I understand 'Black Friday' comes from the economic phenomenon where store owners are supposed to 'get in the black' of financial solvency, but I want to know why we don't call it 'Green Friday' since they're getting all that 'green'...moolah, dough, casharooney...into their coffers. Of course, unless a green Master Card is used, all the plastic that's being swiped...run across the machine, not stolen...is multi-colored. Maybe Rainbow Friday would work, since the 'pot of gold is at the end of the rainbow?!!' Of course, the Green Peace-ers and the Rainbow Coalition-ers might get fussed up about our swiping their colors...stealing, not running across the credit card gadget...so I guess we'll just leave it as is.
Wikipedia actually has listings for Black Sunday through Saturday, so y'all can go Google them if you want some fairly interesting historical reading.
Or, you could pick up a tattered old copy of Black Sunday, the first novel of Thomas Harris, author of the Hannibal Lecter series. By the way, I read Black Sunday, but not the others.
Or, you could go watch one of my favorite movies, "Red October," or go listen to "Yellow Submarine" by the Beatles or "Green River" by Creedence Clearwater Revival.
Just remember that classic line from "Adventures in Baby Sitting"..."Aint nobody leaves here without singing the Blues!!
Got tunes?

2:185, #489: Simple Math

Well, here it is, 21,184 days since I came blasting into this world with only one labor pain, if Mom's recollections were correct. For you math challenged, that would be 365 x 58 + 14 for leap years, as if you cared in the first place.
Now, given that we get 70-80 years average life span according to the Bible, I figure I'm somewhere between 72.5 and 82.8% dead...or, the flip side of the coin is that far along for Heaven bound!!
Of course, 'all my days were written in His book before there was even one of them' according to Psalm 139, so as Stonewall Jackson used to say, I don't have to worry about the day of my death whether I'm in bed or on the battlefield...at least the one described in Ephesians 6:10-20 where we Christians are at war not with flesh and blood but with rulers, powers, world forces of darkness, and spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenlies!! Didja ever wonder, since Daniel's long since in heaven, who the Prince of Persia (high level fallen angel) is assigned to these days?
Got prayers to blow the Devil off his feet?!!

2:184, #488: Soft Hearts and Patience

I just got done praying through a prayer calendar from one of the missions organizations I get them from and it aroused two of my pet peeves with Christians.
1. DON'T pray 'for patience!!!!" If you're a Christian, by definition you have the Holy Spirit within you and as part of the fruit of the Spirit of Galatians 5:22-23...love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness & self-control...you already have patience, so you're actually asking for the trials that James 1:2-3 says are designed for you to use and improve your 'patient endurance' [hupomone in the Greek] that you've already got!! I think it's appropriate that the original Greek is pronounced 'who-po-moan-eh' considering the moaning that goes on among Christian pray-ers.
2. DON'T pray for 'God to soften hearts!!" NOWHERE does He talk of such a phenomenon, so you're doing like the king that Elisha chastised for only striking arrows on the ground 3 times when he was praying to strike the Syrians rather than continuing on so the request would be more effective...you should pray for God to break hearts of stone and replace them with hearts of flesh based on His promise in Ezekiel 36: 26, 27 which also declares He WILL put His Spirit within those on whom He metaphysically operates!

Whew...I'm glad that rant is over!
Got prayer requests?

2:183, #487: My Day Upcoming

Well, here it is, Friday the 13th and there's light rain so I'm inside and taking some vacation time. As I often do, I've looked up Any Day In History [http://www.scopesys.com/anyday/] to see what was cooking today 'back in the day' and moved two days forward for today's post, as well as for some note in my copy of One Year Book of Christian History. So here's what was what on November 15th at various times in history:
Interesting, at least to me, births for this date:
1708, William Pitt the Elder, who guided England to victory in Queen Anne's War, known on this continent as The French and Indian War.
1891 Erwin Rommel, the Desert Fox of WWII fame...who kicked Allied butt until Patton 'read his book,' if you believe the movie.

Now, as for what happened:
In 1492, after sailing the ocean blue, Chris Columbus first recorded tobacco use...and the Surgeon General had nothing to say at the time! Wonder if Old Chris was a cigar smoker after that?
In 1806 Old Zebulon (why'd his parents name him that?) sighted what became Pike's Peak... guess you could say that Pike peeked at Pike's Peak?
In 1861, during The War of Southern Aggression, the United States Christian Commission organized with the specific intent to evangelize Union soldiers.
In 1862, great grandpappy Jacob Antes began his march from Philadelphia to Fredericksburg so that I could get post traumatic stress syndrome while 'in his loins' from being shelled by Stonewall Jackson's artillery.
In 1864, Uncle Billy Sherman put the torch to Atlanta...I guess the Braves' games were 'called on account of smoke?'
In 1951, I shuffled on to this mortal coil, forcibly ejected from a pleasant environment, but not needing my butt slapped to make me cry, since I was yelling from the get go, according to Mom's reports when she waxed eloquent on the subject.

Well, enough of this...Happy Friday the 13th!
Got stupid-stitions?

2:182, #486: Pray Harder

WHY? Do you think your original request was not heard? Do you think your Heavenly Father who tells you to 'rush into His throne room of grace' isn't awake? Somehow I feel like Elijah telling the Baal prophets on Mount Carmel to 'shout louder' so their god can hear them when I think about this phrase that I've read so often in Christian literature and mission letters.

Hey, if you're being obedient and not willfully sinning, ask, seek, and knock and your prayer will be answered...not necessarily in your time, but perfectly in God's. Oh, yeah...if you're praying for something for sinfully selfish reasons...to consume it in your lust, to use James' words...forget it. You might as well stick you head down a well and shout your request for all the good it will do you.

Well, I'm done ranting. Maybe I'll go metaphysically arm wrestle with my Father who loves me as much as He loves His Son. (cf. John 15:9) Judy Collins is singing "Amazing Grace" on my computer, so I'll be pleasanter for the rest of the day. Y'all come back now, y'hear!
Got prayers?

2:181, #485 Pro and Con Testant

Here it is Reformation Sunday and I'm at my computer in a unique combination of orbital patterns not only in the planetary systems but in the circumstances of my day. If the Pro-testants came about as a result of protesting the bad things of the Catholic Church in 1517, were they Con-testants of Catholic theology or non-contestants in the fellowship of the papists?!!

If 'Pro-gress' means moving forward, what does 'Con-gress' mean? And just exactly what would 'gress' be, since 'in' and 'e' both fit at the front of the root letters? Dictionary.com, by the way, does not give 'gress' a definition.

If you have a 'Protest,' can you have an 'amateur test?' If a protest in the streets turns into an armed or unarmed conflict...how can you conflict without arms, kick each other?...does it them transmorgrify into a contest? If you can have a conflict why can't you have a proflict? Or would that be a movie made by folks who know what they're doing?

If you can promote something, would taking the beam out of your own eye whilst looking at the mote in the other guy's become a con-mote? Or would that be something wrong with a guy in jail or who gets people to do stuff by fooling them?

If Herman Melville wrote a book called The Con Man, should somebody write The Pro Man?

Just remember...or learn for the first time...that quote from "Master and Commander"... "he who would pun would pick a pocket."
Got Change?

2:180, #484: Friday is Why Day

Since an entire week went by without a post to this insanity site, I thought I'd take some time and question reality, now that I've gotten four days of masonry work on the Grey Havens behind me.
Soooo...

Why do we call the red condiment in a bottle or squeeze container "ketchup" or "catsup?" If you want the "skinny" on the word derivation, go to [http://itotd.com/articles/385/the-story-of-ketchup/] and read up.

Why do we have 'innies' and 'outies' as navel options? Well, the first website I checked says it's a random process; although it appears 90% of us have lint collectors and only 10% have the push button that sticks out. And...can a Calvinist believe that a statistically skewed finding like this can have ANYTHING to do with random anything?!! Just exactly WHAT did the Lord have in mind when he bestowed outies on so few of His handiwork?

Why is a sport confined primarily to the USofA called the WORLD Series? Yeah, I know, this is a repeat and the baseball commissioners "back in the day" wanted really FABULOUS words to define their game...so sue me.

Why does Richard Dawkins, the famous atheist, call the OT God "a malevolent bully" and the NT Jesus "meek and mild?" Seems a rather unscientific reading of the Bible when the Prince of Peace describes His work as "bringing a sword."

Why do Evangelical Christians develop sphincter pucker in light of the clearly calamitous conditions that are going on around the world when they've been praying "Thy Kingdom come" all these years and the Bible clearly predicts things will get worse and the anti-Christ has to show up first?

2:179, #483 Raining Day Ramblings

I wonder where the phrase, "log in," originated? Googling it didn't help and I'm enough of a Conspiracy Theorist that I think it's a subliminal ploy by the tree huggers to make us feel guilty that we're ravaging the environment psychologically by dealing with "logs" that are, by definition, dead tree parts!

I also wonder, if Major League Baseball...a male sport...has bull pens, should Ladies Professional Softball Leagues have cow pens?

Since the Major League playoffs are extending into near-freezing weather...the Phils/Dodgers will get a low temperature of 36 degrees on Sunday night...will a ruling have to be made about pitchers throwing snow or ice balls?

Is there a certain irony that my new atheist friend defines her basic moral world life view as The Golden Rule, introduced to the world by a guy who's either the Son of God or a delusional psychotic blasphemer similar to Peter Boyle's character Jack McDermott in "The Dream Team?"

Why is the chocolate bar, Milky Way, named after a mass of fireballs traveling at high speed through the cosmos? Just what was Frank C. Mars smokin' back in 19-ought-23?!!

I'm off to read some of Richard Dawkins' The God Delusion. I guess to particularize Psalm 14:1, "The fool has said in his heart there is no God..." God should get someone to write The Dawkins Delusion?

2:178, #482: Russian Heritage

There's this photo of a guy on The Joshua Project website that is an eerie comparison to the goomer at the left of this paragraph that further confirms not only that I have Russian roots in my gene pool...is that like a tree growing in a swamp?!!...but of what I might look like in a few years if I decide to shave the middle of my current chin hair growth. I don't know what the copyright laws are and I'm a bit paranoid and conspiracy theoretical, so if you want to see someone who looks a good be like I do, go to [http://www.joshuaproject.net/countries.php] and scroll down to the Russian guy.

The other spooky sorta-look-alike was pointed out to me by the guys at our Bookstore here at Camp Cornelius. This one's a guy called The Edge on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine with Bono of U2 on it. AND, believe it or not, when I was clean shaven, a woman actually came up to me in a restaurant and told me I looked like Kevin Costner. I will refrain from any bigoted remarks about Caucasians but will say that I can act at least as well as Ole Kevoski...except in his first two movies, "Fandango" and "Silverado" that I HIGHLY recommend.

So why am I writing this in the first place? Well, a new friend who happens to be an atheist agrees with the Bob/The Edge photo similarities and I was going to write her back about the Russian guy, among other things, so I was "doing what I do" as Malcolm Reynolds would say... no I don't even vaguely resemble Nathan Fillion.
Got Serenity and doubles?

2:177, #481 MY TURN!!

I had another one of my early morning epiphanies Tuesday morning after watching "The Forbidden Kingdom" Monday night with Elfson and Audiovisualman. I found my third movie with one of my favorite lines in it..."My Turn!"

The first example of that is in "Serenity" when the Crew is being attacked by Reavers and Simon Tam gets wounded, apologizes for not being able to protect his baby sister (who we now know is an Alliance trained killing machine) and she replies, "You've protected me all my life, Simon." She then stands up with a great look of determined mania in her eyes and says, "MY TURN!!" and proceeds to annihilate the Reavers (savages who were created by the Alliance in a MAJOR mistake of experimentation).

The second time I spotted this line is in "Iron Man." Tony Stark is told by the Afghanistan Bad Guy to build a Jericho Missile from parts in a cave. Well, Ole Tony creates his first Iron Man suit, gets shot several hundred times and then says, "MY TURN!!" and cranks out dual flame throwers from his arms, annihilating the bad guys in Round 1 of his various encounters.

Tuesday night's three's-the-charm line came when the 20th century Caucasian kungfu wannabe strikes the stone encasement of the Monkey King Immortal to release him to deal with the Jade Warlord after most of the movie's fight scenes. Of course, Jet Li as said Monkey Immortal looks out with a great grin and wild eyes and says, "MY TURN!!" and proceeds to do what Monkey King Kungfu Immortals do.

The epiphany was that, after tolerating Satan, his demons, and billions of creatures made in His image some of whom don't even acknowledge He exists, at the End Of All Things when the Lord returns, I think the "loud shout" in conjunction with the Last Trumpet is going to be "MY TURN!!"
The rest, to paraphrase, will be eternity!
Got front row standing room only?

2:176, #480: Scottish Sexton

I've a new favorite song these days, "Loch Lomond," as sung by the accappella group, Stanford Fleet Street Singers. You probably are familiar with the phrase "you take the high road and I'll take the low road," but did you know the story behind the song? It turns out two Scots were captured trying to join the Jacobite Uprising of 1745 to support Bonnie Prince Charlie's bid for the Crown. One was sentenced to death while the other was set free. The song tells how the spirit of the one would take the "low road" of death and get to Scotland before the survivor walked the "high[land] road" back home. Youtube's got some great stuff regarding the story as well as some excellent renditions of the song.

I'm thinking that maybe my preference for flannel shirts is a genetic predisposition from my Scottish Murray roots that I get through my maternal grandfather's lineage that he traced back to a John Murray around 1835...Nope, you Reformed Knee Jerkers...not THE John-I've-got-a-compassionate-glass-eye Murray of Westminster Seminary fame!! Well, while watching "Braveheart" all 15 times, I figured one on my ancestors, who it turns out might have been Sir Andrew Murray according to one Murray Clan website, fought with blue face paint, while great great, etc. grandfather Sexton put down his shovel from burying the dead and joined up with Edward the Longshanks to invade Scotland.

Further research indicates the Murray Clan found its roots in the loins of Freskin de Moravia, a Flemish noble who helped cross pollinate the Highlands with some Bonnie Lassies of the Hills. Flemish folks are from around Flanders, Belgium which came out of Germanic tribes of the Franks and Celtic-Germanic Belgae; which goes to show that my ancestors would humpdy dumpdy with just about anybody! ;p So, along with my Scottish antecedents, I've got Gallic, Celtic, Russian, Anglo-Saxon, Frankish, and who knows what else.

So, as a Mutt American, I have a "lot of Gaul" as a Philly driver, love beans and Franks, know how to work the Angles on a problem, know how to put English on a cue ball, and get off Scot-free from my trespasses and sins in Christ.

Got heraldic shields and kilts?

2:175, #479: Bob Wonders...

...since Jesus healed the lame, gave sight to the blind, and hearing to the deaf, did He ever restore rotten teeth?

...if the 40 guys who swore not to eat until they killed Paul starved to death?

... if it's coincidence in the providence of God that John 6:66 says, "As a result of this many of his disciples withdrew, and were not walking with Him anymore?"

...if you stand in front of a sign that says, "Fire Zone: No Stopping or Standing by Order of Fire Marshall" in order to read it, are you breaking the law?

...why we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

...if God taps His foot in time to the music His kids play while "making a joyful noise unto Him;" which might explain earthquakes since "the earth is His footstool?"

Got Wonders?

2:174, #478: Former Incarnations

I figure God...the Living and True One...is THE God of order, so if He had worked things out in His providential coincidence the way I see it in a post-Reformation, Van Tillian, Zen sort of way, He'd have repeated characteristics in our various incarnations that the deluded folks who actually believe we get several opportunities at this life would conjure up. I've been thinking of some of my current characteristics and have concluded that:

Based on the number of dirt baths I've given myself in the last 24 years driving the John Deere tractor and zero turn mower, I was one of the sparrows Jesus referred to in Matthew 6:25-34; which also happens to be my self-chosen life verses, so in my Mental Feng Shui that doubles the probabilities that I'm right.

I also heard David Attenborough's special on the American Brown Bear a couple of years after I got saved and when he said that the brown bear's life centers around eating, I knew I had pegged at least one more incarnation...maybe even a repeat in several differing generations!

Since I was born in November, 1951 during the Korean War and I have an unusual appreciation of kimchee and other Korean foods, I figure I was a North or South Korean soldier who had a bullet with his name...probably "Kim"...on it and low and behold, here I am!!

My years of grunt work, both in construction and here at Camp Cornelius convinces me that around 960B.C. I was one of the stone cutters for Solomon's Temple and have carried over that talent in the pointing work I've been doing on the Grey Havens all summer. Oh, yeah, I probably helped build the Second Temple in several incarnations from 516-70B.C. and then was one of the Roman soldiers in 70A.D. who tore it back down, given the number of things I've had to build and tear down here at Camp Cornelius.

My wood cutting, tree pruning, chain saw using skills were probably first developed when I was a Gibeonite drafted into the wood cutting/water toting work for Israel sometime shortly after "Joshua fit de battle ub Jericho!" (Cf. Joshua 9:3-17)

My penchant for playing loud music probably came from multiple Goyim incarnations of Mongols, Visigoths, Babylonians, Medo-Persians, and a host of others, including Saxons, Scots, Teutons, and Russians in the last 500 years or so.

The Sexton part of my make up is obviously family related and probably stemmed from "the Black Death came to London after it started at Westminster and there were not enough sextons to cart off the bodies" as one source I saw on the internet but whose reference I've since lost.

Finally, my sense of humor...twisted as this post obviously makes it appear... that has made me a jester in the Court of the King of Kings probably stems from being multiple "fools" for multiple kings down through the millenia. My favorite color is flannel plaid...probably inspired by "fool's motley" in the middle ages and the Scottish tartan that runs in my history.

Oh, and since "Amazing Grace" is my favorite hymn and has the same basic seven notes of a slave tune John Newton heard whilst acting as a slave trader in his early life, I probably was one of the motley crew that was "two years before the mast;" which could also explain why as a kid I read the entire Horatio Hornblower Series!
Got Divine Intervention?

2:173, #477: Mr. Lists

A guy who used to work with me nicknamed me Mr. Lists because I keep what some might consider an inordinate amount of information in the form of lists. I figure it's just an indication of my Concrete Sequential personality...or perhaps, since they're somewhat of a scattered collection, my Abstract Sequential tendencies. For instance...

There's the DaVinci File of all the paint colors used on all the rooms/halls of buildings on campus and when they were painted. It's a handy reference to decide if and when some place is due to be repainted and what color to use if a match is desired.

The Projects File let's me know when major things were done by year...I guess if I was REALLY a List Man I'd have an alphabetically arranged second list with which to compare, but I don't so it might take a bit longer to scroll through to the object for which I search. HOWEVER, the "Find" feature of Microsoft Word is a handy dandy little item that we List-ers find most convenient.

Two REALLY important lists are Movies Listed and Movies Sorted. With these two little babies I can quickly bring to conclusion...usually proving MY point of view...of how many times we've watched a particular movie and when we last watched it within a month's time. For the actual day, I've got pocket calendars with notes that substantiate reality to my side of the, shall we say, failure to completely agree.

I'm currently typing in 29 years' of hand written prayer journals, so my Salvation List is being constructed so I know the first time I wrote in when I prayed for a particular individual to come to saving faith. For instance, David Robinson of NBA Hall of Fame fame, came to faith one year to the day of when I used a picture in The Sporting News as a stimulus for praying for him...at least I think it was that precise...I still have to do some checking. Similarly, when Kathy Ireland was on the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue with Elle McPherson and one other woman, I added all three of them to my List...Kathy's been saved for several years...not sure about the other two.

Lastly, I guess you could say that the prayer journals I've been keeping are my Ultimate List which now has 189,000 answers in its contents and will continue to rise in answer totals as my days of shuffling around on this mortal coil continue. The only gripe I have with the Lord, if you can call it that, is wondering why He hasn't quickened more of the individuals on my Salvation List up to this point. Of course, I defer to His timing, wisdom, and sovereign election on this one, so I can rest content in whatever circumstances I am...in a learning curve, that is!

Well, first thing on my Today To Do List is to open buildings and let my hvac mechanics in the Library to continue their project from yesterday, so...
Off I go!!

2:172, #476: Nutritional Nuggets

This morning my Opening Routine had some glitches, so here are some thoughts as a result:

When you Pooh Bears can't find the honey to put on your Quaker Instant Oatmeal, try Karo pancake syrup as a tasteful change of pace.

Why is it that fish oil pills stick to the inside of the bottle? And here's a comforting note from the bottle label: "Nature Made Fish Oil supply comes from deep ocean waters. Our fish oil is not supplied from farm raised fish. State of the art molecular distillation is used to remove PCBs and dioxins which guarantees purity and potency. Mercury undetectable." Does that last line mean that their equipment isn't working?!! AND...now we have somebody bragging about "free range fish" like the "free range chicken" ranchers?!! Sheesh...

It has been my contention that God invented corn and barley so we could eat Fritos and drink Yuengling!! And He "knit Arturo Fuente in his mother's womb" so we could smoke some good stogies to boot!! Oh? You didn't suspect that the Tabernacle Glory Cloud had something to do with God being a cigar smoker? Tsk...Tsk!!

Oh, Yeah...what kind of ecological disaster caused the Land of Canaan to be "a land flowing with milk and honey?"

2:171, #475: Signs

I was reading The Brute Facts this morning and came across a notice that read, in part, "Pizza and Viruses...Learn how to prevent computer viruses...Look for signs." Well, I wondered if there would be some kind of rash on the keyboard? Would a face pop on the screen with a thermometer that was registering 104 degrees? Would the screen develop cracking striations similar to those of the containment glass in the new version of "The Day The Earth Stood Still?" Would there be a red sky at morning for the computer sailor to take warning?

Then I thought as I read another add which read "For Sale: Sunbeam portable air conditioner..." that a Sunbeam, although it is light, comes from a source that generates heat, so that would seem counterproductive for an air conditioner, would it not?!!

As I walked from one building to another during my opening routine, I saw the sign, "Fire Zone: No Stopping or Standing by Order of Fire Marshal" and wondered if I was breaking some law by standing in front of it to read it and then to write down it's message for today's thoughts.

The leaves around Camp Cornelius are falling in spite of the going-up-to-80-something today temperature, so I guess that's a sign that Fall has fallen or is in the already-not-yet and is falling? And just how far does it fall, anyway?

Well, time to sign off...

2:170, #474: Altogether Evil

This is what Gandalf calls the Ring of Power when he's in the group session at Rivendell trying to decide just what's to be done with the ring. Well, being the good Calvinist I am, I'm ready to look into Leaf #1 of the old T.U.L.I.P. this morning...Total Depravity.

The bottom line is that WE are ALTOGETHER EVIL from birth according to Ephesians 2:1. In fact, being "dead in your trespasses and sins" might explain the need for deodorants, given that after three days we'd start decomposing and, as Loudon Wainwright's song, "Dead Skunk In the Middle of the Road" suggests, we'd be "stinkin' to high, high heaven." What I can't figure out is why anyone would operate from the position that people are basically good.

Think about a crying baby...its first cry is from some complete stranger slapping it after it's been forcibly ejected from the almost perfect environment. The second is either to manipulate Mom to host out the old feeding device OR to clean up the mess at the other end from having supped to the full earlier on.

THEN there's the Terrible Twos!! Just which person has had to sit their toddler down and actually teach him/her to be bad?!! NADA UNO, I'd say.

And for those of you who "train up a child in the way he should go so that in his old age he does not depart from it," do you notice how the teenage years are not necessarily covered in that promise? One Christian comedian says teens are God's way of letting parents understand creating someone in their image who then completely denies their existence. I think he might have a point.

And it just happens that "evil" in English is "live" spelled backwards, so "live evil" is the basic description of what we do as natural men and women. It's a good thing God decided to elect some of us and put His Spirit within us or we'd be entirely hopeless. Oh, and speaking of that, I've a theory that God saves a lot of covenant kids early on specifically because He knows how bad they'd be if He didn't!!

Well, odds and ends call...the good news in Christ is that we are a NEW creation...
Got ALTOGETHER HOLY??!!

2:169,#473: Ponderisms Explained

The other day I got an email called "Ponderisms," some of which I had to answer, so here goes:

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll pull those dangly things and drink whatever comes out? Bob Murphy, author of Murphy's Law

If Jimmy cracks corn and nobody cares, why is there a song about him? Because the corn cracked was used to make whiskey and the natural outcome of drinking it was the song.

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if he's going to look anyway? He's getting some of that corn whiskey to bolster his courage to continue to do his job.

If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Pap tests, given the last question.

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? The slimy stuff left in diapers collected by some guy drinking corn whiskey who flunked out of OB-GYN school.

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup? Actually, they get it faster than literate people because they just go ahead and eat it!!

I thought about another one at 4:40am the other morning...When Miss Muffet was scared by Spidey, did she go way away to weigh her whey? NO WAY!!

Got Ponderings That Need Answers? WRITE!!

2:168, #472: Creation vs. Evolution

This morning my body alarm went off at 4:34am and my brain laid rubber, smoked its tires, and headed on down the road of Thoughts Near the Edge. Did you ever wonder if the Creationists and Evolutionists have ever given serious thought to the question of whether it was Adam or Eve who passed on the "ghetto booty" to us or whether the one celled amoeba had a lump that eventually developed into said gluttial musculature?!!

What exactly is it in the joining of the gene pool down through the generations that has given some relatively small Caucasian women that particular anatomical caboose? Just WHY exactly would selectivity select those particular strains in the DNA? Or, perhaps, as Psalm 2 says, "He who sits in the heavens laughs...?"

As I've posited before...can't remember where and ain't in the mood to check...probably Facebook...howcome Evolutionists don't think we came from the doG (that would be God, backwards, which seems to indicate our fallen state)...we men think primarily about food, sleep, sex, and play much like our canines and our ladies have certain verbal and personality traits which receive the name from the technical definition of a female dog under AKC derivations?? Rhymes with "itch" for those of you who aren't following me and my cloud of mental dust.

Just exactly at what stage did Mom's get eyes in the back of their heads? And do they work the way a sheep dog's eyes apparently do through its copious bangs?

Last question...Where's my evolved third arm so I can drink my coffee at the same time I'm typing with both hands?

2:167, #471: Yggdrasil

I've just spent an interesting 1/2 hour reading through a bunch of Norse mythology after Googling my favorite word for the old fashioned "dictionary game" where you present a word with several definitions and folks have to guess what it is. Back in my high school days, "yggdrasil" struck my fancy and probably won me a round or two of the game, if I ever got around to playing it.

Well, today, I learned that Yggdrasil is the giant ash tree that links and shelters all the worlds. Essentially it connects and holds heaven/hell/earth together. All kinds of cool and twisted stuff goes on in Norse mythology, but there are some parallels to Biblical truth in the whole mythological hoohah. For instance, Ragnarok is the Norse equivalent of Armageddon, but here the gods get destroyed, some get reborn, some not...the bottom line is the end of the cosmos as it now is. A new world arises from the sea in this version, not a new heaven and earth from God as it will be in reality. However, some guy named Surt with a flaming sword is supposed to scorch everything...parallel to the heavens and earth being destroyed by fire this time around in the Bible.

One good parallel...wickedness and evil no longer exist in the new creation. It's kind of sketchy about any place of eternal punishment, however. Guess the Vikings got squeamish on this issue in spite of all their blood and guts theology. Leave it to Christians to introduce the Truth to the world, including "vessels of wrath created for destruction!"
Got reservation for your room in the Heavenly Mansion of John 14:2?

2:166, #470 Just Some Questions

If the Mayans were so smart to calculate the end of the world, according to popular sources, howcome they missed their own extinction? Maybe they were just too busy doing the math for Armageddon? Or maybe they didn't have Bruce Willis and his oil rig wildcats to protect them the way the planet does in "Armegeddon?" Or maybe they were busy trying to learn, "OLA, SENOR?!!"

Does anybody wish, like I do that JUST ONCE a reporter would not say, "Reporting LIVE from such and such a place" but would say, "Reporting DEAD?" I wonder if he/she would get canned for saying that? And would it be canned laughter?

If during the Cold War there was a Hotline to the Kremlin, during a hot war would it be called a Coldline? And if they held a really nasty conversation, would it be called a Cold Sore?

If you call Suicide Hotline and they hang up, could you say the "line's gone dead?!!"

With the current hubbub about incandescent vs. fluorescent lights, should we start hunting whales again and switch back to oil lamps? Or should some sci-fi guy figure out how old motor oil could be incorporated into indoor lighting?

Got bright ideas?

2:165, #469: God Was a Sexton

Here it is Labor Day in America when most everyone is not laboring...at least for their employers. I wonder just what per cent of the work force still is doing its job? Anyway, yesterday I finished reading Deuteronomy and realized that God was a Sexton. Yepper...Deuteronomy 34:5-6 says, "So Moses the servant of the LORD died there in the land of Moab, according to the word of the LORD. And He buried him in the valley in the land of Moab, opposite Beth-peor; but no man knows his burial place to this day." Good old Dictionary.com includes as the definition of sexton (I supplied the capital for obvious connections) as "an official of a church charged with taking care of the edifice and its contents...and sometimes with burying the dead."

So, in one of His pre-Incarnate theophanies, the Lord took up His shovel, dug a hole, and put Ole Moses "in the cold, cold groun..." (I'm listening to the Irish part of "Mansions of the Lord"...now it's "How Can I Keep From Singing?") I guess it makes sense that my past history includes working at Northwood Cemetery, current at Westminster Seminary, and the apparent history of the English side of my family is that it goes back to the days of the Black Death when it's said that "it came to London, started at Westminster, and there were not enough sextons to bury the bodies" in some website I can no longer find. Well here at Westminster Seminary, I've gotten to bury some dead birds and a couple of ground hogs Old Hudson Hawk kacked...and I don't tell people where they're buried, either!!
Got shovel?

2:164, #468: Stone Walls and Grass

These are the two primary projects on my mind these days here at Camp Cornelius. The photo shows some of my handy work on the Grey Havens, as well as the new chin whiskers I'm sporting since I decided to connect the Fu Manchu and create a Van Dyke on my face. Facial Hair Feng Shui turns out to be considerably hotter this way, but tolerable...must be some pressure point or something in the middle of the chin that sparks the difference. In any event, I spend Monday and Tuesdays pretty much removing old mortar with a pneumatic hammer and then putting mortar back between solid stones, filling in fairly large cavities behind stones, and even placing some small stones in areas that wind have eroded on the mica schist that was used at the Grey Havens back in 1917 when it was built.

Grass this year is phenomenal...two more days a week are pretty much dedicated to cutting roughly 10 acres that could really be cut twice a week, given the current growing rate. It's an interesting contrast, at least for me, to summer of 1986 when it was so dry that I did not mow at all from end of June to mid-September, so I and another guy rebuilt the stonewalls at the Church Road entrance shown in the left hand picture.

The other thing that is phenomenal is the way my garden is producing. We at the Havens are enjoying fresh lettuce, radishes, cukes, zuchs, tomatoes of 3 varieties, onions, parsley, and cilantro and have been able to farm out lots to the locals on campus...give and it will be given, good measure, pressed down, shaken together, poured over into your lap.

Well, on that note...got salad dressing?

2:163, #467: Monday School

Howcome...if we had Sunday school yesterday, we don't have Monday school today? I mean, the Mamas and the Papas had "Monday, Monday," so it seems to me we should Thank God [when] It's Friday, visit Ruby Tuesday's for a cold one, and remember "It's Saturday night and I ain't got nobody"... thanks to Sam Cooke, one of my favorite singers of the 60s, who might be "Sittin' On the Dock of the Bay" even as we speak, with that "great cloud of witnesses" of Hebrews 12, since he was a preacher's kid, according to Wikipedia. Of course, being a preacher's kid no more gets you into heaven than living in a garage makes you a Buick, but I editorialize.

I'm reading through Deuteronomy these days on my once-every-about-18-months read of the whole Bible and I'm wondering, based on Dt. 7:9, just who my Goyim ancestors were about 9AD who followed the Lord from whom I'm reaping blessings of God's covenant and mercy with them here in this 1,000th generation closer to The End Of All Things...can you tell I've now got "Lord of the Rings" music playing?

Well, it's getting time to open up and decided just what kind of work I want to do for either myself and/or the folks here at Camp Cornelius, so "Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's Off To Work I Go" with Dopey, Sneezy, Doc and the rest of the Dwarves...
Got mithrail shirt? THAT SHINY SHIRT IS MINE!!!!!!!

2:162, #466: Typo Blood

Yes, indeed, I have type "O" positive blood coursing through my veins (I knew the pic I took of my thumb laceration would eventually come in handy...pun intended, of course), but I often have typo blood when I'm sitting at the keyboard. For instance, I'm transcribing my handwritten journals into my computer and hit an extra key so "testimony" was changed into "testimoney"...a Freudian slip comparing God vs. Mammon?!! ;p

The other day on Facebook, I noted that if you remove the 'r' of "reciprocal good feelings" from "friend" you get "fiend" and from "brother" you get "bother." It seems that there's a Proverb stuck in there about "a friend who sticks closer than a brother;" which would transform into "a fiend who sticks closer than a bother." Might be on to something there in the old spiritual warfare battle.

Well, it's time to go to work, so I'll shift from O, pen-ing this post to opening buildings?
Got typos?

2:161, #465: Make Lists, Not War

Generally speaking, wars could be avoided if folks would "count the cost" as Jesus said in Luke 14:31. For instance, if the Confederate States wannabes had actually made lists of their resources vs. those of the North, they might have decided to do away with Stese rights and slavery; except, of course, that they were providentially pushed into Civil War so He could convert 300,000 Americans in the midst of killing off 600,000.
I've actually been called Mr. Lists by friends because I keep To Do Lists on 3 x 5 cards at work, Movies We've Watched Lists (sorted by chronology and cross referenced to frequency), a Salvation List of Aints I'm praying to be Saints, my Da Vinci File list of room paint colors/when painted at work, my Projects File of major things done at WTS 'on my watch," my Ultimate Knowledge File which lists just about everything my replacement will need to know to do my job when I croak, and my Prayer Journals which list over 188,000 prayer answers right now.
Now, my title for this post comes from my totally depraved, vindictive natural man tempered by Romans 12:19's quote of Dt. 32:35, "'Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,' says the Lord." Why do I need to bother with getting back at folks who have done me dirt? I just put them on my Salvation List--"hammer him until he gets saved" kind of prayer or "give him justice in Your time, Lord;" which opens the door to Hell if God's got it planned for the offender.
Sooo...got pen/paper/computer files?!!

2:160, #464: Things Bull

This was another one of those wake-up-with-my-brain-in-high-gear-at-5am mornings. Today I was wondering:

If a retired Spanish matador opened a Paris Bistro, would he call it Cafe Ole? Would he use red tablecloths? Would he serve Red Bull drinks? Would Al Gore be the Maitre D'? Would they serve Borden cheese products? Would they use old swords for shish-ka-bobs...ooops, Dictionary.com just informed me that it's shishkebabs. Well, if I ever open a restaurant, they'll be shish-ka-Bobs!! ;p

Would politicians hold conversations there that could be described as bull chip cookies and milk? Oh, and WHY is it that we use the coarse phrase bulls'it to indicate lying, things which are lies, and the like? FYI, Dictionary.com indicates that it's origin is circa 1910-15...must have been started by some of those bad boys that got the planet involved in World War I, I guess.

Why is the middle of the target called a bull's eye? I can understand the phrase, "like a bull in a china shop," so I don't go in them these days.

I guess "Bullish" is used in regard to the Stock Market because the optimistic traders are ready to charge ahead with their investments, but "Bearish"? Maybe it indicates caution because the Market will rip you head off like an angry mother bear robbed of her cubs as Proverbs says?

Well, God in His infinite wisdom and planning had Mom and Dad name me Robert Murray, but everybody just calls me Bob. And we ALL know the title of this blogsite, now don't we?
Got B.S.?

2:159, #463: Biblical Ponderings

If a bottle with gas in it is a Molotov Cocktail, should a cup of the wine Jesus made from water be considered a Mazel Tov Cocktail?

Based on my current reading of Leviticus 11, we're not supposed to eat Joe Camel, Bugs Bunny, and Miss Piggy.

Pork..."the other white meat"...is also "the demon preferred meat," based on the casting of Legion into the swine story in the New Testament.

Since Leviticus 3:16 says, "The fat belongs to the Lord," it's ok for Christians to be gluttonous?

It seems providentially ironic that the mnemonic H.A.M. helps me remember the real names of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego...Hananiah, Azariah, and Mishael...especially since the young men refrained from eating the King's choice foods to prove Daniel's point.

Is there anywhere in Scripture where it says I can be Jester in the Court of the King of Kings, given that "He who sits enthroned in Heaven laughs?"

2:158, #462:Rainy Day Thoughts

Here it is raining again during the wettest summer we've had in decades...perhaps EVER since The Flood and I'm in my office because I can't be out on the John Deere zero turn mower where I was going to be...seems like Proverbs 16:9 wins again, "the mind of man makes its plans but the Lord directs his steps!" On the other hand, it was clearly God's will that I not mow grass this afternoon since He's the one who gave us the rain. As a result I was smoking a good cigar on the back porch of The Big House, talking with one of my brothers about tobacco and its effects of health and personality.

Now I'm in my office looking at a carton I discovered the other morning during my opening up routine. It says "Horizon Organic" with a cow jumping over the earth. I'd include a picture, but I'm ten-fold paranoid, so just Google those two words and click on the "Images" tab if you want the visual! Anyhow...underneath Old Bossy it says "DHA OMEGA-3, helps support a healthy brain, 100% vegetarian source of DHA Omega-3. Then it goes on to say, "2% organic REDUCED FAT milk, 38% less fat than whole milk and a bunch of other stuff.

I'm wonderin' if you drink this stuff and it gives you a healthy brain, will you realize:
1. 2% + 38% do NOT = 100%...and does that mean that either it's got 98% of the fat or 62% of the fat still left in it?!!
2. ALL milk is organic...as is all bull chips and other left overs from last night's dinner are organic. In fact, anything with carbon in it is organic.
3. MILK is a product that comes from mammals...aint no vegetables puttin' out this stuff, so what's a vegetarian...at least a strict one...care about all this anyway?!!
4. You might as well drink milk and have this company's sales plummet through the barn floor?
5. Since they produce this milk "without antibiotics, added hormones, pesticides or cloning...just what kind of bacterial crap might you find in it?

Got bull chip cookies to go with your Organic Milk?

2:157, #461: Personality Tests

I learned a long time ago that I'm an addictive personality...when all else fails, state the obvious. But then I realized when I worked with drug addicts and a guy called me a Jesus Addict that he had summed up the thrust of the Gospel...swap your addiction to sin that you were born with to an addiction to Jesus when you're born again!!

Anyway, I just took the Myers-Briggs Personality test on Facebook...third time's the charm, I say. This time around I came up ISFJ. Last two were ISTJ and INFJ. So, it looks like I'm a Counselor, Inspector, and Protector all rolled into one, based on the personality wheel gizmo I just looked up. And what, you say, does this have to do with anything? DUH...what's the name of this blogsite?!! I got up at 4:30am for the second time this week and I'm totally self-indulgent with a cup of coffee in me!! Notice that the consistent bookends of the letter system are "I" & "J"...introverted...always thinking about myself first, big surprise and judging...checking things out and assessing values to it with or without a judgmental attitude...just following orders from Matthew 7:15-16, "Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes, nor figs from thistles, are they?" And this command to judge comes after the stick-it-in-your-face-verse people use to tell Christians to be mindless, "Judge not that you be not judged"...ALWAYS out of context.

OK, so I'm getting preachy...further self-indulgent B.S.
Got mortar for the joints in the wall behind me?

2:156, #460: Pharaoh and Miss Piggy

I'm currently reading through Exodus and something struck me the other day. When Pharaoh was given the option to call off the frogs plague, he said "tomorrow" instead of "RIGHT NOW!!!!" Was he a former incarnation of Miss Piggy in love with all his Little Kermies or what?!! Was he expecting some French cuisine with an order of frogs' legs...tastes like chicken, ya know?!! What exactly did he hope to accomplish by a 24-hour delay? This was one world politician who really didn't know what time of day it was!

This morning I also made a couple of lists: Plagues in Exodus/Plagues in Revelation. In Exodus the Lord hammered each of the Egyptian gods with water to blood, frogs, lice (gnats), flies, livestock disease, boils, hail, locusts, darkness, and dead first born. In Revelation He skips the frogs, lice, and flies, but I'm guessing they'll show up with all the corpses laying on the ground and floating in the water when He turns 1/3 of the sea to blood, 1/3 of fresh water to wormwood, and kills off 1/3 of mankind. Then there'll be the fun of smoke/locusts, lightning/hail, loathsome sores, men scorched with great heat, darkness/pain, earthquake and 1,000lb hail.

Oh, did you know that "Chernobyl"...the name of the 1986 nuclear plant disaster...is Russian for "Wormwood?!" Is that Miss Piggy flying over?

2:155, #459 The Cane Ridge Revival

Back in 1801, Presbyterian worship services in Kentucky got drastically changed on this date when the Spirit of God moved on a series of meetings for the next 10 years to create The Cane Ridge Revival in an area that The One Year Book of Christian History considers "apathetic." It's of linguistic interest to me that "apathetic" is made up of "pathetic"...causing sympathy or sorrow...and the prefix "a" which normally means "not." Sooo...not causing sympathy or sorrow should be something which causes joy, I think, but apathetic means you basically don't give a hoot...go figger.

Similarly, we use "pathetic" frequently to indicate that an individual is to be looked down upon, so "not pathetic" would be someone to admire...maybe that's why the American Couch Potato has become an unsung icon in the panoply of personalities in our land. Maybe we can expect some sort of Revival to occur across the USofA in the not too distant future?